Ranty McRant Rant

[serafina20]

Okay, I'm going to take a stand on this because it's come up again, this time voice by people I either know and respect or by people who are friends of people I know and respect.

This idea that you have to have had sex to be able to write a good sex scene is complete and utter bullshit. Sexual experiences does not equal a good sex scene (and I don't think any would argue that it does) so lack of sexual experience does not automatically equal a bad sex scene.

In both cases, the quality of the scene is going to depend on the same things: attention to detail, research, and imagination.

"Write what you know" is one of the stupidest phrases ever to be misused. One should never, ever, simply write what you have actual experience in, but, rather, what you have a feel for. I happen to have a feel for sex scenes. I put a lot into them: time, research, energy, and attention to detail. *That's* what it takes to be a good writer. Not experience.

(That being said, I'm not rejecting the idea that a smut writer shouldn't do some playing/exploring on one's own. However, that's more for recreation rather than any real need).

On COTW:

It's not that I said in the fic that the Kent's anniversary was before the Christmas break, it was that I set the episode Jitters before it. Clark gets off being grounded (he was grounded for 2 weeks in the COTW-verse) a few days after Christmas. But I might still just fudge it and look the other way. Thanks for all the advice.

Comments

[sage]

You're in a fabulously rare situation, hon. You've done the research before you've gained most of the experience. That will let you take so much control over your sex life when you decide you're ready to start exploring it in depth with someone you trust.

It's a very different situation to do the research after the fact and go, "oh, I know that, I've done that, I've ... hrm, guess I was doing that wrong. Holy shit, what do you mean that's actually dangerous??!"

I wonder how I would have turned out if I'd felt like I'd had the right to explore sex at my own pace. I wonder if I would have really understood the lesson of "Just because you *can* doesn't mean you *should.*"

Anyway, like I've told you before, the sex you write is wonderfully hot. But what makes it really stunning (to me) is its emotional content. I'm *always* emotionally invested in the characters' mental states and what their motivations are for intimacy. Even with purely visceral rutting, you give us an exploration of the inner need within.

*loves*

[serafina20.livejournal.com]

you're ready to start exploring it in depth with someone you trust.

Why do I have a feeling that'll never happen. *wistful smile*

Anyway, like I've told you before, the sex you write is wonderfully hot. But what makes it really stunning (to me) is its emotional content.

Thank you! I do tend to concentrate more on emotion and stuff just because it's not as ... real to me without it. Sex is physical, yes, but if you're not in the moment, it doesn't mean anything. And I want the characters to be in the moment. Sometimes, I used dialogue--inner or outter--because I'm fumbling with the sex (especially in femslash), but I also do it because that is what makes it more interesting. :)