Lame little writer girl
Sep. 10th, 2004 10:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
serafina20Okay, so I've been thinking about my aversion to spoilers tonight, and came up with one of the major reasons why I don't like them. Whenever I'm invested in something--show, movie, book--I usually approach it with whatever my story for it is. In Star Wars, Harry Potter, and Buffy, I had a Sue-story that ran along with whatever the canon is. I do that the same way as I do COTW; I take what's going on with the show, and twist it to include my characters.
Same with Smallville. When I watch the show, the first thing I'm thinking about is how it's going to fit into my universe. Then, after the show is when I start thinking about the actual episode and my interpretation of events and meta-thoughts. But my original approach is my story.
Spoilers fuck it all up. There's no other way to put it. If I find out in July that Gabrielle Union has been hired to play Mercy, Lex's new body guard and potential love-interest, I'm going to spend until the premier trying to figure out how he can have a girlfriend and still have Clark (obviously, the answer to this would be that Mercy is actually involved with Lex's secretary, Serafina Romano, and Mercy and Lex are only dating to help Lex's image). If I find out that episode 4.3 is about Lex going to Metropolis for new shoes, he'll meet Lewis Lane, who did not die in the meteor shower after all, and that Lionel Luthor gets a new pet hamster, I'm going to try and figure out how it fits into my story.
The problem is, what actually happens onscreen is usually different from the way I thought it was going to be. So now I'm working double time. I've come up with one version of the story, and now I have to come up with another, and still remember the best lines from the first and try to fit them into the next. Plus, it's stressful for me to have to work on incomplete information. Even if it was *complete* information, hearing that there's a scene in which Clark and Lex will finally kiss and seeing it is different. Maybe, I thought they were finally giving into Grand Passion, but it was really a soft, sweet kiss, or a Judas kiss or, worse, I think I'm going to be happy about the kiss until I see it on screen and realize that I'd built it up too big in my mind and it failed to even capture the moment. I cannot tell you how many times I've been excitedly looking forward to something I've spoiled myself on, only to have it not live up to my expectations.
So, there it is. I'm a silly, selfish little writer girl who doesn't want to have her toys fucked up. Because, believe me, when I hear something, I reject it right away, but if I see it, I tend to enjoy it. So, even though I may not be able to buy the fact that Lionel bought a hamster (he's really more of an iguana guy) when I read it, the show might be able to totally sell it. And I just want to experience it for the first time when it's in front of my on screen, in living color.
Same with Smallville. When I watch the show, the first thing I'm thinking about is how it's going to fit into my universe. Then, after the show is when I start thinking about the actual episode and my interpretation of events and meta-thoughts. But my original approach is my story.
Spoilers fuck it all up. There's no other way to put it. If I find out in July that Gabrielle Union has been hired to play Mercy, Lex's new body guard and potential love-interest, I'm going to spend until the premier trying to figure out how he can have a girlfriend and still have Clark (obviously, the answer to this would be that Mercy is actually involved with Lex's secretary, Serafina Romano, and Mercy and Lex are only dating to help Lex's image). If I find out that episode 4.3 is about Lex going to Metropolis for new shoes, he'll meet Lewis Lane, who did not die in the meteor shower after all, and that Lionel Luthor gets a new pet hamster, I'm going to try and figure out how it fits into my story.
The problem is, what actually happens onscreen is usually different from the way I thought it was going to be. So now I'm working double time. I've come up with one version of the story, and now I have to come up with another, and still remember the best lines from the first and try to fit them into the next. Plus, it's stressful for me to have to work on incomplete information. Even if it was *complete* information, hearing that there's a scene in which Clark and Lex will finally kiss and seeing it is different. Maybe, I thought they were finally giving into Grand Passion, but it was really a soft, sweet kiss, or a Judas kiss or, worse, I think I'm going to be happy about the kiss until I see it on screen and realize that I'd built it up too big in my mind and it failed to even capture the moment. I cannot tell you how many times I've been excitedly looking forward to something I've spoiled myself on, only to have it not live up to my expectations.
So, there it is. I'm a silly, selfish little writer girl who doesn't want to have her toys fucked up. Because, believe me, when I hear something, I reject it right away, but if I see it, I tend to enjoy it. So, even though I may not be able to buy the fact that Lionel bought a hamster (he's really more of an iguana guy) when I read it, the show might be able to totally sell it. And I just want to experience it for the first time when it's in front of my on screen, in living color.
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I get it, I really do
Date: 2004-09-11 01:24 am (UTC)Your reasons are yours. I respect them even if I do not always agree with them.
I can actually come up with a minute analogy in that I find it harder and harder to interact with beginning season two Lionel on the Smallville Journals. Why? Because I feel that he is evil incarnate.
It doesn't matter that he does not see himself that way and felt justified because he thought Lex killed Julian. He still treated Lex evilly in Belle Reve - yet to come in the SV LJs for another year.
This thought colors my interactions with him now and I find myself unable to cut him slack.
OTOH? The spoilers for the show do not faze me and only make me incredibly happy for the new season.
However, that is me. Everyone differs and I truly get that and I truly respect it.
It's all cool.
*huggles*
Re: I get it, I really do
Date: 2004-09-11 09:40 am (UTC)For some reason, this phrase bugs me, and has each time you've used it. I think it's just a "me" thing, but, to me, the word "agree", as in, "I don't agree with you," or, "I agree with you," is used for things that are actually up for argument. Religion, politics, interpretation. Spoilers are a personal preference. It's not that I don't agree with you when it comes to spoilers. It's just that I don't like them and you do. There's nothing to agree on. It's like trying to agree on a favorite color. There's no point because it all comes down to personal preference. Now, coming to an agreement on whether or not to cut tag makes sense, but agreeing on how you enjoy fandom? It unintentionally puts a value judgement on personal taste that I find off putting. But, at the same time, knowing what a wodnerful person you are, I know that's not what you're doing it. It's just this is the third or fourth time I've seen you said that, and each time I get really offended because there is absolutely nothing to agree on here.
I can actually come up with a minute analogy in that I find it harder and harder to interact with beginning season two Lionel on the Smallville Journals. Why? Because I feel that he is evil incarnate.
I'm kicking myself for the Lionel/Morgan interlude I wrote in COTW. If I'd written it after "Shattered" it would be so completely different than it is now. I want to delete taht fic and make Lionel the evil bastard that he is.
It's all cool.
It so is. ;P
*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2004-09-11 04:54 am (UTC)Good point about the real version never being like we thought it would be, in spoiler-land. So, we're building ourselves up for disappointment.
It's true, it's very boring waiting for the show, but that's what the fic is for.
no subject
Date: 2004-09-11 09:42 am (UTC)It's not always disappointment, though. I"ve read things in the past that have bummed me out to know end. I was dreading the airing of the episode for weeks, and when I finally saw it, loved it. So it works both way. I just find the show more enjoyable if I don't go in with any expectations other than what I see on the previews and what I think is the natural continuation of the arc.
no subject
Date: 2004-09-11 10:42 am (UTC)I've been known to turn off the TV even for the previews...for instance, the previews for Slumber were so juvenile it was a real turn-off, then I go around annoyed all week....('course, the actual episode didn't do all that much to aleviate that....)
But, yes, I'd rather keep the experience as 'pure' as possible. Then just bitch the hell afterwards...
Caveat Emptor! (not like we're going shopping, but sorta *g*)
Date: 2004-09-11 06:13 am (UTC)That to me? Makes less sense than a man putting on a pair of stilettos to go to a midtown office for work.
I'm also wondering if the amount of passion on the sides of fans - particularly the spoiler ho's - makes those who don't cotton to spoilers seem somehow less fannish. We've been around this road multiple times, but is there an implied sentiment that if you just want to watch and enjoy the show and participate in the fandom post episode via discussion and fic (and maybe view pictures etc., but not do the spoiler dance) that you're not a *real* fan. Or weird.
*shrugs*
I don't judge those who dive into that spoiler rich pool as obsessive compulsive (and I could attach a string of names for illustration, but I won't because frankly, it's unnecessary), so I would appreciate, more than I appreciate sunshine, the lack of sideways glancing when people break this down into "you" versus "me." I think we're getting a bit less of deriding that earlier in the summer, but I'd prefer to see none at all.
Thanks for posting this, Serafina! Less than two weeks. Will fandom survive?
*dives back into The Bunker*
Re: Caveat Emptor! (not like we're going shopping, but sorta *g*)
Date: 2004-09-11 09:49 am (UTC)I actually think that it's sillier to be so devoted to my fanfic, that spoilers stress me out, rather than just not wanting for my enjoyment of the show's sake. But I'm happy that you get it. :)
That to me? Makes less sense than a man putting on a pair of stilettos to go to a midtown office for work.
Exactly. Especially since, nine times out of ten, what actually shows up on screen is neither as good (although, they do surprise me quite often) or as bad as I thought it was goign to be. Why waste all that time stressing over something I really don't know will be like? I learned by lesson (again) with "Rogue"; after weeks of fighting and bitching and stressing of Victoria, she wasn't the threat anyone thought she might be. So, I just stopped reading spoilers. I'd rather piece together what's going to happen myself (I do watch trailers)
I'm also wondering if the amount of passion on the sides of fans - particularly the spoiler ho's - makes those who don't cotton to spoilers seem somehow less fannish.
Yeah, that gets me too. Espeically since, in the last roung (not this one that sort of got started yesterday,b ut the last major round), I saw at least two people express sympathy for people who don't read spoilers. Like we need pity. I don't pity them (although I really could come up with reasons); I just figure they watch the show differently. End of story.
But, the truth is, I don't want to know anyone's reactions to things until I've seen the show. And, even after the show, I only read 3 people's meta on it for the first day. Everyone else, I skip until my thoughts are solidified. If I tried to read spoilers, react to them, read everyone's reaction to them, and then watch the show and go through it again? I'd go crazy. So it's not worth it.
Will fandom survive?
We always do. We're like Lex, in a way. :)