Sweating blood
Aug. 17th, 2004 10:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
serafina20I'm at this point right now where writing isn't exacly making me happy and I'm not happy with what I'm writing. I know I should stop, but I just can't seem to. I mean, I'm not writing as quickly, and I'm not writing what I feel I "should", but I'm still pounding keys.
Tomorrow I will
1. Do some lesson planning
2. Write the new first scene to COTW 47
3. Go try on some clothes and get a Krispy Kreme
More Lex Luthor, Ace Reporter 2
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Lex sometimes felt his life was nothing more than a broken string of good intentions. When his mother had gotten ill, he'd done everything he could to help find a cure. He'd spent hours researching medicines and doctors and ways to make his mother better, and had been so wrapped up in that, he hadn't been there when his mother had passed on. He'd done what he could to take care of Julian, and Julian had ended up dead. He'd devised the LuthorCorp takeover of Lane Enterprises to make his father's company stronger only to lose it.
Once, he'd tried to break up with Clark to save him from a life of having to take care of Lex. It hadn't worked.
This time, Lex didn't know what to do. He didn't know what the honorable thing was here. Did he follow his head and turn down Clark's proposal, or did he follow his heart? Or, did he admit to himself that every fiber of his being, including his head, was screaming at him to accept, good intentions be damned? Clark was a grown man, and he knew Lex better than anyone in the world. He knew what he was getting himself into. Sort of.
The apartment was empty when Lex got home. A note was on the table underneath the newest issue of Warrior Angel, a chocolate chip muffin, a bottle of water, and Lex's medication. It read,
Lex,
The tractor broke down in the field again. It shouldn’t take me too long to get it out and help Dad fix it. I'll meet you at the restaurant at eight. Call if you have any problems. I love you, Clark.
Lex smiled and picked up the Warrior Angel comic. Clark was always doing things like that. If it wasn't a new comic, it was the newest computer gadget that Lex wanted, or a new CD or movie or sometimes even just a postcard from an exotic location Clark had flown to. And it wasn't just gifts. Lex never had to worry about coffee. If Clark hadn't already run off to the Best Coffeehouse in the World, he was brewing a pot by the time slumber ebbed away from Lex, or he instinctively knew when Lex wanted something to eat and exactly what.
For all his faults, and Clark did have them, Clark more than made up for them. And Lex loved him for it.
As usual, Lex hadn't realized how hungry he was until he started eating. The muffin was gone in no time and followed by two peaches and a bag of microwave popcorn. Some days, Lex got a visceral thrill eating crap his father would never let him near. Lex was still uncertain as to whether or not Lionel had even known what a microwave was for. With the way his life was now, Lex didn't think he could survive without a microwave *or* the delicious if nutrient deficient goodies. Luckily, Clark was just as addicted to Hot Pockets and microwave kettle corn as he was.
There were a few consistent facts in Lex's life. One: Lex would never really understand why Clark stayed with him, two: He loved his career, and three: Lois Lane never gave good advice.
She also never did anything without an ulterior motive. Lex didn't think she had an ulterior motive in suggesting he see a psychologist exactly, but she was hiding something. She was way too nervous during their conversations, and Lois just didn't get nervous like that unless she was up to something. Lex just had to figure out what it was.
After three hours of searching, Lex thought he might have a lead. About six months ago, Lane Enterprises had very quietly bought a dying medical research facility called Sommerholt Institute. Before Lois had swept in to benevolently rescues the facility, it was going bankrupt. Investors had been pulling out for over a year due to the institutes questionable research practices, especially concerning minors.
Interestingly enough, Lex found the Kent name on one lawsuit. It'd been officially filed by the Lowell County Child Protective Services on behalf of a boy named Ryan James, who'd been held by the institute and experimented on. Ryan had died, but the institute had been found guilty of breaking several laws and forced to change its practices. They'd changed, but not much, and there were soon so many lawsuits, they began to lose investors.
Until Lois.
"What are you up to, Lois?" Lex muttered as he printed out his research. He was about to go to the Sommerholt webpage when he saw the time. It was almost seven-fifteen, and he still had to shower and get ready to meet Clark.
The research that was printed out was stuffed into a new file folder and set in his "Lois" tray. He turned the computer off, took his medication, and jumped into the shower.
Clark had asked him weeks ago what the most romantic restaurant in Metropolis was. Lex had replied, without hesitation, that it was the Petite Fleur. It wasn't his favorite restaurant in the world, but it was close. The restaurant was on the top of a skyscraper that overlooked the heart of the city. At night, the lights twinkled and danced with the string quartet that was ensconced in the corner. The food was superb, the waiters tolerable instead of unbearably snooty, and the ambiance was perfect.
It was exactly the sort of place one wanted to be when proposed to. Or, actually, when accepting a proposal.
The shower went faster than he expected. Clark had laid out the outfit he wanted Lex to wear, and while a part of Lex thought that maybe he should be annoyed at having so much controlled, he knew how much Clark liked him in his indigo silk shirt.
When he was dressed, Lex climbed onto the bed and closed his eyes for a moment. Even though Lex was fiercely protective of his side of the bed, when Clark was gone, Lex liked to sleep on his side. The pillow smelled like Clark and that smell never failed to lull Lex into a state of relaxation.
He sighed and snuggled into Clark's pillow. He had no idea what he was going to say tonight, but he hoped that, no matter what came out of his mouth, Clark would hear what was really in his heart.
"Lex? Lex, baby. Wake up."
A gentle earthquake shook Lex, dislodging him from his dreams. Confused, he opened his eyes.
Clark was sitting on the bed, gazing down at him. He was smiling faintly, as if amused, and his eyes gleamed when the moon that streamed through the window. He was dressed in a suit and tie, his jacket thrown across Lex's legs.
"Clark?" Why was he dressed up? What time was it? What was going on? Lex struggled to sit up, propping himself on his elbows. "Is something wrong?"
"No. I was a little worried. We were supposed to meet at the restaurant an hour ago, but as long as you're safe, it's fine."
Lex looked at the clock; it was eight-thirty. "Oh, shit." He sat up, scrubbing at his face. His eyes felt heavy and sticky with sleep, and his head was fuzzy. "I'm so sorry, Clark."
"It's okay." Clark kissed his forehead.
"No, it’s not. This was important, and I fell asleep. Fuck."
"Lex, you're overreacting."
"No, I'm not. Jesus, Clark, it's our anniversary dinner and I'm missing it. You asked me to marry you last night, and I was supposed to give you and answer, and I..."
"Fell asleep because your medication makes you drowsy. It's hardly a crime," Clark said in that horribly calm voice he got when Lex was being irrational.
Lex snorted, jaw tight. He locked his eyes on Clark, furious. As usual, the patient expression on Clark's face diffused some of his anger. Uncertainty crept in.
If Clark had stood him up on an important night like this, it would be days before Lex could forgive him. If Lex had dared to do this to anyone else, like Lionel, he'd be punished in some way. Clark didn't do that, though. He just ... forgave.
Throat blocked, Lex looked away. "I wish you'd get angry at me sometimes."
Clark made a strange noise, eyebrows furrowed. "Lex, I do get angry with you. When you're being a jerk, or you've eaten the last Ding Dong or gone through my desk at work. But I'm not going to get angry at you because you fell asleep." He squeezed Clark's thigh. "You're ready to go out. You're wearing everything but your shoes. Your wallet and keys are on the table. It's not like you forgot that you were supposed to meet me. You fell asleep. I know how drowsy the anti-depressants make you, and I understand." He touched Lex's cheek gently. "If I'd come home to find you on the balcony smoking, or with Lois or watching television, I'd be angry and hurt. This, I accept."
The lump in his throat got bigger. Clark was trying to make him feel better, but it wasn't working. "You're too good to me."
"No. I'm not." Clark kissed him gently, hand cupped around the nape of Lex's neck. "I know this is hard for you to understand, but I'm hoping the more I say it, the better you'll understand. For the most part, Lex, *everyone* deserves to be treated well. Okay, yeah, there are some rapists and psychotic mass murderers I'd like to sock, but you're not one of them. You have your flaws, but you're still a wonderful person. You deserve to be treated with respect and love and understanding, just like everyone else. If I try to treat you better, it's because I love you. But there's never going to be a 'too good' Lex. And I'll always wish I could treat you better."
Lex swallowed. "I love you," he whispered. He leaned forward and hugged Clark tightly. His eyes closed as the heat from Clark's body seeped through his shirt. He could feel Clark's heart beat steadily, thrumming through both of them.
Clark's lips brushed over Lex's temple, sending shivers down his spine. "I love you, too." He kissed Lex again, and then pulled away. "Want to have some dinner?"
"Didn't we lose our reservations?"
Clark didn't answer. Instead, he smiled mischievously as he rose from the bed, pulling Lex with him.
The living room was bathed in a soft, golden light. Clark had set candles on every available surface, making it look like a different room. The furniture had been pushed aside and covered so the table could be set up in the middle. Clark had placed a lace tablecloth his mother had given them for Christmas on the table and set it with their "best" china (the four plates and two bowls they'd bought from Target to supplement their old scratched and chipped set). A bottle of wine was on the table, and silver tureens were set on a card table next to their kitchen table.
"Wow," Lex managed. It was a good thing Clark had woken him up rather than Lex walking into all this; he might not have recognized his own living room. "This is amazing. You move fast."
"Well, I'm Superman," Clark explained. His hand rested on Lex's lower back and together they walked outside. "Fast is part of the job description."
"I didn't realize pampering your boyfriend was part of that description." Clark very rarely used his powers in their every day life. Lex didn't know if it was a point of honor, habit, or a desire to lead some kind of normal life and to separate himself from his alter ego. Lex had never asked. It wasn't that he wasn't curious, because he was, but he'd fallen into the comfortable habit of thinking of Clark as his lover and Superman almost as a different person. They weren't, and Lex was always aware that it was *his* lover in that suit, *his* lover going around and rescuing people. It gave him a visceral thrill to know that, but it only really occurred to him when he saw Clark in the uniform. The rest of their life, he was just Clark.
"Hey," said Clark in an offended tone. "This is my anniversary too. Maybe I'm just pampering myself."
"As if you could be that selfish." Lex went to the tureen and looked inside. It wasn't French food they would have had at the Petite Fleur. In fact, it was better: Chinese from Lex's favorite restaurant. "I didn't know Ta Chen's did take-out."
"I explained it was for you, so they made an exception." Clark pulled Lex into his arms and held him loosely. He was a pretty graceful dancer when he tried, and he was trying now. A jazz CD was playing, and Clark pressed his hand into the small of Lex's back as he slowly swayed in time to the music.
Lex laughed softly and rested his head on Clark's shoulder. It was very rare that Clark got this way. Romantic. And he did it so rarely that Lex was usually in the mood to indulge him when it happened. Besides, if there was ever a night to be romantic, tonight was it.
"Happy anniversary, Clark," Lex whispered.
"You too." Clark turned his head and kissed Lex, tightening his arms as he did. They danced in silence a few more minutes before Clark said, "I was thinking about some things when I was setting the table."
"Mmm?"
"You said you have a bunch of your family's stuff in storage."
Lex swallowed. "Yeah."
"What kind of stuff."
"I can't even remember anymore. Pictures, furniture, decorations, files, silverware, all kinds of crap. I haven't looked at it in ten years."
Clark traced Lex's ear. "Maybe it's time. I mean, we could use some nice silverware, and I'd love to see the pictures that are there." He kissed Lex's temple. "It's just that I have this feeling that we're getting more serious about our relationship, and I thought that maybe we should stop living as if we just graduated from college and were waiting for our life to begin. It's begun, Lex. And I'd like plates that match."
Lex laughed and pressed his forehead into Clark's shoulder. "I haven't even said yes, Clark."
"This has nothing to do with us getting married. It has to do with our life." He rubbed the nape of Lex's neck. "We can do it this weekend." There was nothing demanding in his tone. It was just an idea he was suggesting, and Lex knew he had the freedom to accept or turn it down and Clark would just go with it.
"Fine," he said. Then, licking his lips, he added, "Who knows, maybe we'll find my mom's wedding dress. It might be something I could use when we g-get married."
Clark's steps faltered, but he quickly found the beat again. "Something old. Or borrowed."
"Only if I wear it." He put his arms around Clark's neck and held.
"What are you saying, Lex? I mean, are you just joking around or ... or do you want to get married?"
Why was it so hard to breathe? And what was wrong with his chest? Was he having a heart attack?
Lex inhaled sharply. It raked down his throat and chest with a dull, throbbing pain.
"Lex?"
With a shaky hand, Lex reached into his pocket. Fumbling, he pulled a piece of paper out and pressed it into Clark's hand.
Clark stopped dancing and pulled away. "What's this?" He unfolded it and then laughed. "Lex."
"Sorry." He sheepishly rubbed his forehead. "I just didn't think I could get the words out."
"All I need is one. It's just one syllable. Rhymes with fess."
"Bess?"
Clark shook his head.
"Dress?"
"No."
"Guess?"
Clark held the note up so Lex could read the word he'd written. "Oh. You mean, yes."
Clark dropped the paper and took both of Lex's hands in his. "Lex, will you marry me?"
"Are you sure?"
"Clark, I don't want to spend my life with anyone but you." He stepped into Clark and slid his hand over his face and into the thick black hair. "I love you."
Clark kissed him deeply, tongue stroking along Lex's with sure and steady strokes. When he pulled away, he rested his forehead against Lex's and whispered, "You're my life to be. My dream come true."
"You already said that," Lex said. "Last night."
"I know. But I was thinking that maybe that's what we could have engraved on our rings."
Rings.
Lex's legs went abruptly weak. "I think I need to sit down," he said tremulously. Fuck. He'd just agreed to marry Clark.
"Yeah. I think you should have some food. Then we can celebrate," Clark said as he led Lex to the table.
"Celebrate?"
Clark's smile was full of promise and desire. "Celebrate, Lex. And, believe me, you're going to need every ounce of energy for our celebration."
Lex shivered with anticipation.
Tomorrow I will
1. Do some lesson planning
2. Write the new first scene to COTW 47
3. Go try on some clothes and get a Krispy Kreme
More Lex Luthor, Ace Reporter 2
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Lex sometimes felt his life was nothing more than a broken string of good intentions. When his mother had gotten ill, he'd done everything he could to help find a cure. He'd spent hours researching medicines and doctors and ways to make his mother better, and had been so wrapped up in that, he hadn't been there when his mother had passed on. He'd done what he could to take care of Julian, and Julian had ended up dead. He'd devised the LuthorCorp takeover of Lane Enterprises to make his father's company stronger only to lose it.
Once, he'd tried to break up with Clark to save him from a life of having to take care of Lex. It hadn't worked.
This time, Lex didn't know what to do. He didn't know what the honorable thing was here. Did he follow his head and turn down Clark's proposal, or did he follow his heart? Or, did he admit to himself that every fiber of his being, including his head, was screaming at him to accept, good intentions be damned? Clark was a grown man, and he knew Lex better than anyone in the world. He knew what he was getting himself into. Sort of.
The apartment was empty when Lex got home. A note was on the table underneath the newest issue of Warrior Angel, a chocolate chip muffin, a bottle of water, and Lex's medication. It read,
Lex,
The tractor broke down in the field again. It shouldn’t take me too long to get it out and help Dad fix it. I'll meet you at the restaurant at eight. Call if you have any problems. I love you, Clark.
Lex smiled and picked up the Warrior Angel comic. Clark was always doing things like that. If it wasn't a new comic, it was the newest computer gadget that Lex wanted, or a new CD or movie or sometimes even just a postcard from an exotic location Clark had flown to. And it wasn't just gifts. Lex never had to worry about coffee. If Clark hadn't already run off to the Best Coffeehouse in the World, he was brewing a pot by the time slumber ebbed away from Lex, or he instinctively knew when Lex wanted something to eat and exactly what.
For all his faults, and Clark did have them, Clark more than made up for them. And Lex loved him for it.
As usual, Lex hadn't realized how hungry he was until he started eating. The muffin was gone in no time and followed by two peaches and a bag of microwave popcorn. Some days, Lex got a visceral thrill eating crap his father would never let him near. Lex was still uncertain as to whether or not Lionel had even known what a microwave was for. With the way his life was now, Lex didn't think he could survive without a microwave *or* the delicious if nutrient deficient goodies. Luckily, Clark was just as addicted to Hot Pockets and microwave kettle corn as he was.
There were a few consistent facts in Lex's life. One: Lex would never really understand why Clark stayed with him, two: He loved his career, and three: Lois Lane never gave good advice.
She also never did anything without an ulterior motive. Lex didn't think she had an ulterior motive in suggesting he see a psychologist exactly, but she was hiding something. She was way too nervous during their conversations, and Lois just didn't get nervous like that unless she was up to something. Lex just had to figure out what it was.
After three hours of searching, Lex thought he might have a lead. About six months ago, Lane Enterprises had very quietly bought a dying medical research facility called Sommerholt Institute. Before Lois had swept in to benevolently rescues the facility, it was going bankrupt. Investors had been pulling out for over a year due to the institutes questionable research practices, especially concerning minors.
Interestingly enough, Lex found the Kent name on one lawsuit. It'd been officially filed by the Lowell County Child Protective Services on behalf of a boy named Ryan James, who'd been held by the institute and experimented on. Ryan had died, but the institute had been found guilty of breaking several laws and forced to change its practices. They'd changed, but not much, and there were soon so many lawsuits, they began to lose investors.
Until Lois.
"What are you up to, Lois?" Lex muttered as he printed out his research. He was about to go to the Sommerholt webpage when he saw the time. It was almost seven-fifteen, and he still had to shower and get ready to meet Clark.
The research that was printed out was stuffed into a new file folder and set in his "Lois" tray. He turned the computer off, took his medication, and jumped into the shower.
Clark had asked him weeks ago what the most romantic restaurant in Metropolis was. Lex had replied, without hesitation, that it was the Petite Fleur. It wasn't his favorite restaurant in the world, but it was close. The restaurant was on the top of a skyscraper that overlooked the heart of the city. At night, the lights twinkled and danced with the string quartet that was ensconced in the corner. The food was superb, the waiters tolerable instead of unbearably snooty, and the ambiance was perfect.
It was exactly the sort of place one wanted to be when proposed to. Or, actually, when accepting a proposal.
The shower went faster than he expected. Clark had laid out the outfit he wanted Lex to wear, and while a part of Lex thought that maybe he should be annoyed at having so much controlled, he knew how much Clark liked him in his indigo silk shirt.
When he was dressed, Lex climbed onto the bed and closed his eyes for a moment. Even though Lex was fiercely protective of his side of the bed, when Clark was gone, Lex liked to sleep on his side. The pillow smelled like Clark and that smell never failed to lull Lex into a state of relaxation.
He sighed and snuggled into Clark's pillow. He had no idea what he was going to say tonight, but he hoped that, no matter what came out of his mouth, Clark would hear what was really in his heart.
"Lex? Lex, baby. Wake up."
A gentle earthquake shook Lex, dislodging him from his dreams. Confused, he opened his eyes.
Clark was sitting on the bed, gazing down at him. He was smiling faintly, as if amused, and his eyes gleamed when the moon that streamed through the window. He was dressed in a suit and tie, his jacket thrown across Lex's legs.
"Clark?" Why was he dressed up? What time was it? What was going on? Lex struggled to sit up, propping himself on his elbows. "Is something wrong?"
"No. I was a little worried. We were supposed to meet at the restaurant an hour ago, but as long as you're safe, it's fine."
Lex looked at the clock; it was eight-thirty. "Oh, shit." He sat up, scrubbing at his face. His eyes felt heavy and sticky with sleep, and his head was fuzzy. "I'm so sorry, Clark."
"It's okay." Clark kissed his forehead.
"No, it’s not. This was important, and I fell asleep. Fuck."
"Lex, you're overreacting."
"No, I'm not. Jesus, Clark, it's our anniversary dinner and I'm missing it. You asked me to marry you last night, and I was supposed to give you and answer, and I..."
"Fell asleep because your medication makes you drowsy. It's hardly a crime," Clark said in that horribly calm voice he got when Lex was being irrational.
Lex snorted, jaw tight. He locked his eyes on Clark, furious. As usual, the patient expression on Clark's face diffused some of his anger. Uncertainty crept in.
If Clark had stood him up on an important night like this, it would be days before Lex could forgive him. If Lex had dared to do this to anyone else, like Lionel, he'd be punished in some way. Clark didn't do that, though. He just ... forgave.
Throat blocked, Lex looked away. "I wish you'd get angry at me sometimes."
Clark made a strange noise, eyebrows furrowed. "Lex, I do get angry with you. When you're being a jerk, or you've eaten the last Ding Dong or gone through my desk at work. But I'm not going to get angry at you because you fell asleep." He squeezed Clark's thigh. "You're ready to go out. You're wearing everything but your shoes. Your wallet and keys are on the table. It's not like you forgot that you were supposed to meet me. You fell asleep. I know how drowsy the anti-depressants make you, and I understand." He touched Lex's cheek gently. "If I'd come home to find you on the balcony smoking, or with Lois or watching television, I'd be angry and hurt. This, I accept."
The lump in his throat got bigger. Clark was trying to make him feel better, but it wasn't working. "You're too good to me."
"No. I'm not." Clark kissed him gently, hand cupped around the nape of Lex's neck. "I know this is hard for you to understand, but I'm hoping the more I say it, the better you'll understand. For the most part, Lex, *everyone* deserves to be treated well. Okay, yeah, there are some rapists and psychotic mass murderers I'd like to sock, but you're not one of them. You have your flaws, but you're still a wonderful person. You deserve to be treated with respect and love and understanding, just like everyone else. If I try to treat you better, it's because I love you. But there's never going to be a 'too good' Lex. And I'll always wish I could treat you better."
Lex swallowed. "I love you," he whispered. He leaned forward and hugged Clark tightly. His eyes closed as the heat from Clark's body seeped through his shirt. He could feel Clark's heart beat steadily, thrumming through both of them.
Clark's lips brushed over Lex's temple, sending shivers down his spine. "I love you, too." He kissed Lex again, and then pulled away. "Want to have some dinner?"
"Didn't we lose our reservations?"
Clark didn't answer. Instead, he smiled mischievously as he rose from the bed, pulling Lex with him.
The living room was bathed in a soft, golden light. Clark had set candles on every available surface, making it look like a different room. The furniture had been pushed aside and covered so the table could be set up in the middle. Clark had placed a lace tablecloth his mother had given them for Christmas on the table and set it with their "best" china (the four plates and two bowls they'd bought from Target to supplement their old scratched and chipped set). A bottle of wine was on the table, and silver tureens were set on a card table next to their kitchen table.
"Wow," Lex managed. It was a good thing Clark had woken him up rather than Lex walking into all this; he might not have recognized his own living room. "This is amazing. You move fast."
"Well, I'm Superman," Clark explained. His hand rested on Lex's lower back and together they walked outside. "Fast is part of the job description."
"I didn't realize pampering your boyfriend was part of that description." Clark very rarely used his powers in their every day life. Lex didn't know if it was a point of honor, habit, or a desire to lead some kind of normal life and to separate himself from his alter ego. Lex had never asked. It wasn't that he wasn't curious, because he was, but he'd fallen into the comfortable habit of thinking of Clark as his lover and Superman almost as a different person. They weren't, and Lex was always aware that it was *his* lover in that suit, *his* lover going around and rescuing people. It gave him a visceral thrill to know that, but it only really occurred to him when he saw Clark in the uniform. The rest of their life, he was just Clark.
"Hey," said Clark in an offended tone. "This is my anniversary too. Maybe I'm just pampering myself."
"As if you could be that selfish." Lex went to the tureen and looked inside. It wasn't French food they would have had at the Petite Fleur. In fact, it was better: Chinese from Lex's favorite restaurant. "I didn't know Ta Chen's did take-out."
"I explained it was for you, so they made an exception." Clark pulled Lex into his arms and held him loosely. He was a pretty graceful dancer when he tried, and he was trying now. A jazz CD was playing, and Clark pressed his hand into the small of Lex's back as he slowly swayed in time to the music.
Lex laughed softly and rested his head on Clark's shoulder. It was very rare that Clark got this way. Romantic. And he did it so rarely that Lex was usually in the mood to indulge him when it happened. Besides, if there was ever a night to be romantic, tonight was it.
"Happy anniversary, Clark," Lex whispered.
"You too." Clark turned his head and kissed Lex, tightening his arms as he did. They danced in silence a few more minutes before Clark said, "I was thinking about some things when I was setting the table."
"Mmm?"
"You said you have a bunch of your family's stuff in storage."
Lex swallowed. "Yeah."
"What kind of stuff."
"I can't even remember anymore. Pictures, furniture, decorations, files, silverware, all kinds of crap. I haven't looked at it in ten years."
Clark traced Lex's ear. "Maybe it's time. I mean, we could use some nice silverware, and I'd love to see the pictures that are there." He kissed Lex's temple. "It's just that I have this feeling that we're getting more serious about our relationship, and I thought that maybe we should stop living as if we just graduated from college and were waiting for our life to begin. It's begun, Lex. And I'd like plates that match."
Lex laughed and pressed his forehead into Clark's shoulder. "I haven't even said yes, Clark."
"This has nothing to do with us getting married. It has to do with our life." He rubbed the nape of Lex's neck. "We can do it this weekend." There was nothing demanding in his tone. It was just an idea he was suggesting, and Lex knew he had the freedom to accept or turn it down and Clark would just go with it.
"Fine," he said. Then, licking his lips, he added, "Who knows, maybe we'll find my mom's wedding dress. It might be something I could use when we g-get married."
Clark's steps faltered, but he quickly found the beat again. "Something old. Or borrowed."
"Only if I wear it." He put his arms around Clark's neck and held.
"What are you saying, Lex? I mean, are you just joking around or ... or do you want to get married?"
Why was it so hard to breathe? And what was wrong with his chest? Was he having a heart attack?
Lex inhaled sharply. It raked down his throat and chest with a dull, throbbing pain.
"Lex?"
With a shaky hand, Lex reached into his pocket. Fumbling, he pulled a piece of paper out and pressed it into Clark's hand.
Clark stopped dancing and pulled away. "What's this?" He unfolded it and then laughed. "Lex."
"Sorry." He sheepishly rubbed his forehead. "I just didn't think I could get the words out."
"All I need is one. It's just one syllable. Rhymes with fess."
"Bess?"
Clark shook his head.
"Dress?"
"No."
"Guess?"
Clark held the note up so Lex could read the word he'd written. "Oh. You mean, yes."
Clark dropped the paper and took both of Lex's hands in his. "Lex, will you marry me?"
"Are you sure?"
"Clark, I don't want to spend my life with anyone but you." He stepped into Clark and slid his hand over his face and into the thick black hair. "I love you."
Clark kissed him deeply, tongue stroking along Lex's with sure and steady strokes. When he pulled away, he rested his forehead against Lex's and whispered, "You're my life to be. My dream come true."
"You already said that," Lex said. "Last night."
"I know. But I was thinking that maybe that's what we could have engraved on our rings."
Rings.
Lex's legs went abruptly weak. "I think I need to sit down," he said tremulously. Fuck. He'd just agreed to marry Clark.
"Yeah. I think you should have some food. Then we can celebrate," Clark said as he led Lex to the table.
"Celebrate?"
Clark's smile was full of promise and desire. "Celebrate, Lex. And, believe me, you're going to need every ounce of energy for our celebration."
Lex shivered with anticipation.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Awww, Sleepy, happy Lex
Date: 2004-08-17 10:53 pm (UTC)This was beautiful. So, so beautiful. Every good thing they are to each other was touched on in here.
Thank you for posting it even if you're not totally happy with how it's coming out because it did make me happy. And I need every ounce of happy I can get nowadays. So just know you gave me that, ok?
I understand if it may change until you're happy with it, but this is still good. No lip service, hon!
I missed the last 1 or 2 part to the Edge/Kal story. Gotta go see that, pronto!!!
*Huggles*
PS - Just finshed Morgan/Kal
Date: 2004-08-17 11:57 pm (UTC)Seriously, this was one of the best fics I have had the pleasure of reading in quite some time.
I did make individual comments of fb on the last 3 parts of the story just now, but I don't think I was coherent enough to express how much this story touched me.
Thank you so much for sharing all of it.
**hugs**
Re: Awww, Sleepy, happy Lex
Date: 2004-08-18 08:59 am (UTC)Ah, thank you. :)
Thank you for posting it even if you're not totally happy with how it's coming out because it did make me happy. And I need every ounce of happy I can get nowadays. So just know you gave me that, ok?
You know, it's not so much that I"m not happy with how it's coming out, it's just *harder* than usual. I can feel the story in my head (both this in COTW), and I know it's there, but when I sit down to write it, it's like I'm ripping my fingernails off and I can't concentrate. There's a slight chance that once my life gets a little more settled (once I get into my classroom and talk with my team of teachers) I can stop stressing about the unknown and be more focused. Even when I'm overworked and stressed out, as long as I have an idea of what i"m facing, my creative juices are a little more free to flow. This not knowing and being in limbo is *hard*.
I'm glad that it makes you happy, though. That does help a lot. :)
no subject
Date: 2004-08-18 12:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-18 09:00 am (UTC)Just like Krispy Kreme
Date: 2004-08-18 01:59 am (UTC)Seriously, LLAR makes me all kinds of happy. I even spent today rereading the first part so I could have it fresh in mind for both LLAR2 and Metropolis Confidential.
One nitpicky thing (and it might be my misreading). It seems like there's an odd transition or a missing bit of dialogue in the following bit:
Clark dropped the paper and took both of Lex's hands in his. "Lex, will you marry me?"
"Are you sure?"
"Clark, I don't want to spend my life with anyone but you." He stepped into Clark and slid his hand over his face and into the thick black hair. "I love you."
(Hope you don't think I've overstepped the bonds of WiP reading in mentioning this, but I know I'd want the same done for me. And if I'm reading it wrong, I apologize.)
Re: Just like Krispy Kreme
Date: 2004-08-18 09:01 am (UTC)Okay, now I'm *really* craving a Krispy Kreme. :)
Thanks for pointing out the mistake. I had about three different versions of this scene in the body of the text, and guess I forgot to cut that line out. Or something. Anyway, I'll definetely fix it.
no subject
Date: 2004-08-18 07:25 am (UTC)Also, I come from a long line of school teachers (my mother and uncle, currently), and administrators (my dad, a former teacher and AP, now retired). If you need some advice about your lesson plans, please let me know. I'll ask my parents, and pass on anything they say.
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Date: 2004-08-18 09:04 am (UTC)Yes, they are two of my favorites as well.
No Lex in a wedding dree, please. Drag is one thing that has never appealed to me.
I'm actually intrigued by the idea of Lex in drag, but not a wedding dress. Something tastefully slutty. Or tasteful. It can be fun; I wrote a whol series about drag queens the Angel fandom. It's one of my favorite series. But this won't be like that.
Thanks for the offer of help. I might take you up on it!
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Date: 2004-08-18 10:54 am (UTC)Echoing LJers above, I love seeing understanding, compassionate Clark. This story feels like how S1 Clark should have developed into.
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Date: 2004-08-18 11:14 am (UTC)Thank you. That's always wonderful to hear, and it really does help. HOpefully, once I get into my classroom, I'll be able to focus my stress so it doesn't affect my writing. Right now, I'm just stressed in general.
Echoing LJers above, I love seeing understanding, compassionate Clark. This story feels like how S1 Clark should have developed into.
Well, to be fair, this Clark is 30 years old and has pleanty of missteps himself. While I do agree that on the show, Clark is kind of unreasonably insensitive (I'm not quite sure where it's all coming from), there's still a chance for him to start growing up and getting control of himself. On thing that's helped me develop this Clark was using Kal as a jumping off point for Clark. It's the first time he got to see the world from eyes other htan his parents, and he really starts making his own deicsions about life after it. I think Clark started to do it on the show (for Shattered and Asylum), but becuase it all blew up in his face, he stopped trusting his instincts again. This CLark never had that.
Okay, that was a long ramble. :) Thanks for the feedback!
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Date: 2004-08-18 11:58 am (UTC)And if this is creative block, gimme some! :) I haven't written in forever! But, the show has gotten my kinda pissy. So...
Keep up the great writing!
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Date: 2004-08-18 05:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-18 05:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-18 05:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-19 07:22 pm (UTC)Now take a break, clear your head, write some unrelated-to-anything drabbles for a few days, and you'll feel better again.
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Date: 2004-08-21 09:05 pm (UTC)Thanks! I'm feeling a little better right now, but, ironcially, I'm stuck on where to go next. ;)
Thumbs up
Date: 2004-08-21 11:38 am (UTC)That line nearly killed me. It's such a perfect expression of serious depression. You *know* the other person is trying to cheer you up, you *know* it should make you feel better... but it doesn't. And you can't really explain *why* it doesn't, or why it just makes you feel worse.
*hug* Wonderful. Thank you.
Re: Thumbs up
Date: 2004-08-21 09:06 pm (UTC)Thank you. I'm trying very hard not to go overboard with Lex's depression, but I also want to get it right. I hope I'm walkign that line right.
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Date: 2004-09-11 10:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-12 09:46 am (UTC)