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serafina20Part 1
Part 2
"How much of your childhood do you remember?"
Lois gasped, spinning on her heel. When she saw Lex sitting on the couch, her jaw clenched. "Jesus, Lex, you startled me."
"Sorry," he said indifferently. "I signed in. About twenty people on your staff saw me come in here. Surely one of them informed you I was here, they aren't that incompetent."
Lois frowned and hung up her coat. "Hmm," she said, brushing her long hair off her shoulders, "I'm not sure if I saw anyone as I came in who could have told me."
Lex seriously doubted that. Not only did Lois have to come through the lobby of the building in which she lived, but there was a security guard right outside the elevator when she got out, and the housekeepers were still here. Lois simply didn’t notice them. Anything and anyone that wasn't immediately important in her. Most people fell into that category. Lex was still surprised that he hadn't yet.
He pulled a cigarette from his case. Clark still hated it when he smoked, and he did his best not to do it around him too much. But it wasn't hurting him, wasn't making him sick, and it helped him feel less stressed. As long as he had something to do with his hands when he was uncomfortable or bored.
"Sorry I startled you," he said as he lit it. "I should have said something."
"I'll forgive you, baby," Lois said with a smile. She sighed heavily and collapsed gracefully on the couch, kicking her shoes off. Her arm was draped over the back of it, one leg pulled up so she could face Lex comfortably. "So, to what do I owe the honor? On another story, or is this pleasure?"
"Why? Is there something story-worthy going on at Lane Enterprises?"
Lois smiled sweetly at him. "I'm thinking of opening a new charity wing at the hospital. Our stock is rising steadily, and I just took over a pharmaceutical company. It's been in the paper already, but I'm always happy to give an exclusive."
"I'll pass, thanks. But next time you start doing something unethical, give me a ring."
Lois just laughed.
Pensive, Lex took a drag on his cigarette. "Clark asked me to marry him."
There was a horrifyingly blank look on Lois's face for about six seconds before she managed to dreg up the name. "Clark. Kent, right? The man you're living with."
Sometimes, Lex suspected that Lois purposely forgot Clark, or at least pretended she'd forgotten Clark, just to make herself look self-absorbed. It was a trick he'd noticed in her when they were teenagers. She very often pretended to be clueless about things, but she actually absorbed knowledge as if through osmosis. And she used that knowledge too. Relationships had been torn apart, deals gone sour, and friends turned to enemies because of a few "innocent" words from Lois.
Lois had met Clark many times. She'd invited them to her New Year's party, had them over for dinner, and run into them at various functions throughout the city. And yet, every time Lex mentioned Clark, she feigned innocence.
"Yes. That Clark." Because it didn't do any good to remind her that she knew Clark. It was easier just to agree.
"Isn't it a little soon to get engaged?" She reached over and pulled Lex's cigarette case from his pocket.
"We’ve been together a year," he replied, lighting the cigarette for her. "Constantly. If he's not sick of me yet, then I don't know if he will be."
"So you're going to say yes?"
Lex didn't reply. He *wanted* to say yes, but he didn't know if he would. Maybe he could just write it down on a piece of paper and then give it to Clark during dinner. Or before. Sometime. Maybe he didn't have to actually trust himself to be able to say the words.
Maybe Lois would write it for him.
"Congratulations, Lex. I'll throw you a party, okay?"
"You don't have to." He rubbed his chin with his thumb. "How much of your childhood do you remember?"
Lois blinked, obviously startled at the change of conversation. "I'm not sure what you mean. Not all of it. I mean, that's impossible; I don’t even remember everything I did last week."
"No." Lex shook his head. "No, that's not what I mean. I have these huge blanks in my mind. Gaps in memory. There's a lot I can't remember."
"Well, you did do a lot of drugs."
"So did you."
"Baby, don’t make me say anything that's going to hurt you."
He looked at her, then shook his head slowly. "I know. I had a mental break. And I know they had me on a lot of stuff when I was in there, but... Morgan Edge said I didn't kill Julian."
"What?" Looking interested, Lois move closer to him.
Ah, good, the pretense was dropped. Not that Lois wasn't a self-absorbed, arrogant, selfish bitch. But, she was also intelligent, rational, and a good conversationalist. Not only that, Lois was his oldest friend. And it wasn't just because the sex had always been great.
"He says that Dad killed Julian. Julian, I guess, was sickly, and that made Dad angry, or frustrated or something. So he killed the baby and then made me think that I did. Somehow, I don't know how. Maybe he drugged me, or hypnotized me." He scrubbed his face with his fist; it felt as if spiders were skittering over his skin. "I know it sounds stupid, but..."
"No, it doesn't. I makes more sense than you killing him," Lois said slowly, tapping her cigarette against her fingers. "You loved that kid. You were so Goddamn boring after Julian was born. I wanted to go out and have fun, and all you wanted to do was play house with Julian and Morgan. And then one day, Julian was dead. You were devastated." Lois shrugged. "At the funeral, I remember you standing between your mother and Morgan. You were holding Morgan's hand and sort of leaning into him. I thought even then that he might be your dad. You looked so much alike. Same eyes, same lips." She touched his lips.
Lex jerked away. "Oh, God, *Lois*."
Lois laughed and rolled her eyes. "Please, Lex. Of the two remaining Edge men, I've only been with one."
"I’m not an Edge."
"No, you're going to be a Kent."
Lex Kent. Lex Luthor-Kent. Alexander Kent. It was stupid, but maybe he should change his name. It'd get rid of the taint of the man who wasn't even his father.
"Anyway," Lois continued. "You were completely devoted to Julian, and when you started telling people you killed him a few months later, I thought it was strange. Even with the drugs or hypnosis or whatever he'd have to use to twist your memories, Lionel Luthor was bastard enough to do that."
"Yeah." Lex rested his head on the couch. "But I can't remember anything from that time. Even the memory of killing Julian, which I used to sort of have, is gone. I don't remember... I ran into Morgan at the cemetery. He was telling me some things about my childhood, and I just *can't* remember. It's like I wasn't even there."
"It was a traumatic time in your life. I wouldn't want to remember."
"I do."
Lois seemed to freeze. Her eyes shone brightly, glittering in the light. Then she brought the cigarette to her lips and inhaled. "Well, there's always therapy," she said, rising from the couch. "Didn't you say that Clark wanted to you go to therapy before?"
"That you remember?"
She shrugged as she crossed the room. There was an ashtray on the side counter, which she picked up, tapping her cigarette in it with sharp movements. "Yes, I do. Every time we get to lunch, you mention it. Eventually, it got into my long term memory." She turned. "It might not be that bad of an idea."
Lex narrowed his eyes, suddenly suspicious. "I thought you said that therapy was for weaklings."
"Oh, I'd never say something like that."
"You said that anything your mother would do for years without results had to be hooey. You used the word 'hooey' to describe therapy. You all but said that you'd lose all respect for me if I went in."
"Oh, I would never say something like that." She turned to him. One arm was crossed tightly around her chest, the other holding the cigarette to her mouth. "And I've grown. I mean, I had to go through some mandatory therapy sessions after I met Superman. It wasn't so bad. It might help you."
"I don't want to talk to some stranger about my fucked-up life."
"Then you're just going to have to get used to the idea that you won't remember your past. I have no other suggestions for you," Lois snapped.
Lex blinked at her vehemence. There was another ashtray on the table behind the couch, and he tapped the ash from his cigarette into it. "I wasn't looking for advice. Not exactly. But I feel so abnormal, and I was hoping, I guess, to hear that not being able to remember things is normal."
"You know it's not. But you're never going to be normal, baby. Your family is completely fucked up. Your father was like Satan incarnate. Mine isn’t exactly Santa Clause, but he loves me and never hurt me like your dad did." She sighed and took another puff. "Maybe therapy isn't so bad. Especially not for someone like you. As someone who loves you, and who's kept you together for years, I think therapy might not be completely horrible." Then, Lois shrugged and ground out her cigarette. "If I were you, I wouldn't want to remember. It's not like your life is bad now. Those are good memories."
Lex shook his head, ground out his cigarette, and rose. "You have no idea what it's like, Lois. Not knowing your own past. To hear it from other people, and for it not be familiar. Or, worse, not to remember it, but still feel the fear. I'd do anything to remember, even if they're not good memories."
"Are you sure about that?" Lois asked in a low voice.
"Yeah. Why?"
"No reason. It's just good to know."
Somehow, Lex didn't quite believe her.
TBC
Part 2
"How much of your childhood do you remember?"
Lois gasped, spinning on her heel. When she saw Lex sitting on the couch, her jaw clenched. "Jesus, Lex, you startled me."
"Sorry," he said indifferently. "I signed in. About twenty people on your staff saw me come in here. Surely one of them informed you I was here, they aren't that incompetent."
Lois frowned and hung up her coat. "Hmm," she said, brushing her long hair off her shoulders, "I'm not sure if I saw anyone as I came in who could have told me."
Lex seriously doubted that. Not only did Lois have to come through the lobby of the building in which she lived, but there was a security guard right outside the elevator when she got out, and the housekeepers were still here. Lois simply didn’t notice them. Anything and anyone that wasn't immediately important in her. Most people fell into that category. Lex was still surprised that he hadn't yet.
He pulled a cigarette from his case. Clark still hated it when he smoked, and he did his best not to do it around him too much. But it wasn't hurting him, wasn't making him sick, and it helped him feel less stressed. As long as he had something to do with his hands when he was uncomfortable or bored.
"Sorry I startled you," he said as he lit it. "I should have said something."
"I'll forgive you, baby," Lois said with a smile. She sighed heavily and collapsed gracefully on the couch, kicking her shoes off. Her arm was draped over the back of it, one leg pulled up so she could face Lex comfortably. "So, to what do I owe the honor? On another story, or is this pleasure?"
"Why? Is there something story-worthy going on at Lane Enterprises?"
Lois smiled sweetly at him. "I'm thinking of opening a new charity wing at the hospital. Our stock is rising steadily, and I just took over a pharmaceutical company. It's been in the paper already, but I'm always happy to give an exclusive."
"I'll pass, thanks. But next time you start doing something unethical, give me a ring."
Lois just laughed.
Pensive, Lex took a drag on his cigarette. "Clark asked me to marry him."
There was a horrifyingly blank look on Lois's face for about six seconds before she managed to dreg up the name. "Clark. Kent, right? The man you're living with."
Sometimes, Lex suspected that Lois purposely forgot Clark, or at least pretended she'd forgotten Clark, just to make herself look self-absorbed. It was a trick he'd noticed in her when they were teenagers. She very often pretended to be clueless about things, but she actually absorbed knowledge as if through osmosis. And she used that knowledge too. Relationships had been torn apart, deals gone sour, and friends turned to enemies because of a few "innocent" words from Lois.
Lois had met Clark many times. She'd invited them to her New Year's party, had them over for dinner, and run into them at various functions throughout the city. And yet, every time Lex mentioned Clark, she feigned innocence.
"Yes. That Clark." Because it didn't do any good to remind her that she knew Clark. It was easier just to agree.
"Isn't it a little soon to get engaged?" She reached over and pulled Lex's cigarette case from his pocket.
"We’ve been together a year," he replied, lighting the cigarette for her. "Constantly. If he's not sick of me yet, then I don't know if he will be."
"So you're going to say yes?"
Lex didn't reply. He *wanted* to say yes, but he didn't know if he would. Maybe he could just write it down on a piece of paper and then give it to Clark during dinner. Or before. Sometime. Maybe he didn't have to actually trust himself to be able to say the words.
Maybe Lois would write it for him.
"Congratulations, Lex. I'll throw you a party, okay?"
"You don't have to." He rubbed his chin with his thumb. "How much of your childhood do you remember?"
Lois blinked, obviously startled at the change of conversation. "I'm not sure what you mean. Not all of it. I mean, that's impossible; I don’t even remember everything I did last week."
"No." Lex shook his head. "No, that's not what I mean. I have these huge blanks in my mind. Gaps in memory. There's a lot I can't remember."
"Well, you did do a lot of drugs."
"So did you."
"Baby, don’t make me say anything that's going to hurt you."
He looked at her, then shook his head slowly. "I know. I had a mental break. And I know they had me on a lot of stuff when I was in there, but... Morgan Edge said I didn't kill Julian."
"What?" Looking interested, Lois move closer to him.
Ah, good, the pretense was dropped. Not that Lois wasn't a self-absorbed, arrogant, selfish bitch. But, she was also intelligent, rational, and a good conversationalist. Not only that, Lois was his oldest friend. And it wasn't just because the sex had always been great.
"He says that Dad killed Julian. Julian, I guess, was sickly, and that made Dad angry, or frustrated or something. So he killed the baby and then made me think that I did. Somehow, I don't know how. Maybe he drugged me, or hypnotized me." He scrubbed his face with his fist; it felt as if spiders were skittering over his skin. "I know it sounds stupid, but..."
"No, it doesn't. I makes more sense than you killing him," Lois said slowly, tapping her cigarette against her fingers. "You loved that kid. You were so Goddamn boring after Julian was born. I wanted to go out and have fun, and all you wanted to do was play house with Julian and Morgan. And then one day, Julian was dead. You were devastated." Lois shrugged. "At the funeral, I remember you standing between your mother and Morgan. You were holding Morgan's hand and sort of leaning into him. I thought even then that he might be your dad. You looked so much alike. Same eyes, same lips." She touched his lips.
Lex jerked away. "Oh, God, *Lois*."
Lois laughed and rolled her eyes. "Please, Lex. Of the two remaining Edge men, I've only been with one."
"I’m not an Edge."
"No, you're going to be a Kent."
Lex Kent. Lex Luthor-Kent. Alexander Kent. It was stupid, but maybe he should change his name. It'd get rid of the taint of the man who wasn't even his father.
"Anyway," Lois continued. "You were completely devoted to Julian, and when you started telling people you killed him a few months later, I thought it was strange. Even with the drugs or hypnosis or whatever he'd have to use to twist your memories, Lionel Luthor was bastard enough to do that."
"Yeah." Lex rested his head on the couch. "But I can't remember anything from that time. Even the memory of killing Julian, which I used to sort of have, is gone. I don't remember... I ran into Morgan at the cemetery. He was telling me some things about my childhood, and I just *can't* remember. It's like I wasn't even there."
"It was a traumatic time in your life. I wouldn't want to remember."
"I do."
Lois seemed to freeze. Her eyes shone brightly, glittering in the light. Then she brought the cigarette to her lips and inhaled. "Well, there's always therapy," she said, rising from the couch. "Didn't you say that Clark wanted to you go to therapy before?"
"That you remember?"
She shrugged as she crossed the room. There was an ashtray on the side counter, which she picked up, tapping her cigarette in it with sharp movements. "Yes, I do. Every time we get to lunch, you mention it. Eventually, it got into my long term memory." She turned. "It might not be that bad of an idea."
Lex narrowed his eyes, suddenly suspicious. "I thought you said that therapy was for weaklings."
"Oh, I'd never say something like that."
"You said that anything your mother would do for years without results had to be hooey. You used the word 'hooey' to describe therapy. You all but said that you'd lose all respect for me if I went in."
"Oh, I would never say something like that." She turned to him. One arm was crossed tightly around her chest, the other holding the cigarette to her mouth. "And I've grown. I mean, I had to go through some mandatory therapy sessions after I met Superman. It wasn't so bad. It might help you."
"I don't want to talk to some stranger about my fucked-up life."
"Then you're just going to have to get used to the idea that you won't remember your past. I have no other suggestions for you," Lois snapped.
Lex blinked at her vehemence. There was another ashtray on the table behind the couch, and he tapped the ash from his cigarette into it. "I wasn't looking for advice. Not exactly. But I feel so abnormal, and I was hoping, I guess, to hear that not being able to remember things is normal."
"You know it's not. But you're never going to be normal, baby. Your family is completely fucked up. Your father was like Satan incarnate. Mine isn’t exactly Santa Clause, but he loves me and never hurt me like your dad did." She sighed and took another puff. "Maybe therapy isn't so bad. Especially not for someone like you. As someone who loves you, and who's kept you together for years, I think therapy might not be completely horrible." Then, Lois shrugged and ground out her cigarette. "If I were you, I wouldn't want to remember. It's not like your life is bad now. Those are good memories."
Lex shook his head, ground out his cigarette, and rose. "You have no idea what it's like, Lois. Not knowing your own past. To hear it from other people, and for it not be familiar. Or, worse, not to remember it, but still feel the fear. I'd do anything to remember, even if they're not good memories."
"Are you sure about that?" Lois asked in a low voice.
"Yeah. Why?"
"No reason. It's just good to know."
Somehow, Lex didn't quite believe her.
TBC
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Oo, plottiness!
Date: 2004-08-13 06:55 pm (UTC)I like how you paint Lois and that Lex's view of her is realistic about her, no matter how confused he is and denying about what he needs to do to fix himself.
Excellent.
*hugs*
Re: Oo, plottiness!
Date: 2004-08-14 11:06 am (UTC)Thank you! Yeah, the plot just sort of came and hit me the other day. I had no idea how to make this an actual story and was afraid I was going to have to drop it. As much as I like the idea of a story where the main conflict is how to put on a wedding, it sadly woudln't fit in this universe. Lex is too dark-spirited to do a comedy-type situation. But now I pretty much know what to do, and I'm happy. :)
Thanks for the feedback!
no subject
Date: 2004-08-14 09:16 pm (UTC)I love your intrepretation of Lex and Clark in this series. Their actions feel so plausible and real. And I like the fact that even though the story deals with a lot of Lex's emotional issues, there's still a sense of redemption/hope.
no subject
Date: 2004-08-15 11:27 am (UTC)Always happy to oblige. :)
I love your intrepretation of Lex and Clark in this series. Their actions feel so plausible and real. And I like the fact that even though the story deals with a lot of Lex's emotional issues, there's still a sense of redemption/hope.
The one thing I love about AU's, espeically future AUs, is how much you get to play with the core personalities and bring out different traits in them. I like writing and playing with emotional issues while trying to keep it real. It'd be so easy just to go into something so dark and redemptionless, but it woudln't be real, especially not with Lex's support system. It's actually easier for me to concentrate on the triumphs and how things will get better. I'm gonig for happily ever after here. :)
Thanks for the feedback!
no subject
Date: 2004-09-11 10:31 pm (UTC)I love this version of Lois! Poor Lex. Maybe changing his name to Alexander Kent would be a good thing for him.
no subject
Date: 2004-09-12 09:48 am (UTC)Thank you! I absolutely love writing her. She's such a kick. I wish I could fit her in more, but i think too much of her would be, well, too much. But she is fun.
Maybe changing his name to Alexander Kent would be a good thing for him.
I'm thinking so. Sadly, "Lex Kent" doesn't sound quite so good, but how often do we go around using both our first and last names? Clark and Alexander Kent has a nice ring. :P