It's too hot

[serafina20]

It's so hot, I'm going shopping just to get into some air conditioning. I'm taking my calculator and a pad of paper so I can a. see how much things actually cost if they're on sale (I often just guess) and, b. write down things I want but don't need right now.

I called the landlord yesterday and told him I wasn't taking the apartment. He offered to lower the security deposite, but it wasn't just that. I'd be moving into a new place 9 days before school starts. I would probably be working the day I was supposed to move in, setting up my class, and then the next day, I have to go to a new teacher orientation for the entire day. I'd be doing lesson plans and stressig out over everythign as it is. My weight already crept down another two pounds, and I'm terrified of what's going to happen when school starts when I'm "stable" (i.e. living with my parents, getting food every night, not havign to worry so much about money); can you imagine how much I'd lose if I had to watch my money and live alone? I'd be in the hospital by the end of the month.

So, this is really the best for me. I'll pay off my credit cards, save up, and then move out at the end of November or December.

The good news is my headache is now gone and I can breathe again. A sure sign that I've made the right decision.

Comments

[emrinalexander.livejournal.com]

Starting a brand new job - even though you're looking foward to it, as in your case - is stressful enough (even positive stress can make you ill) without loading new job/new home/new bill worries on top. I definitely think you made a very smart decision!

[serafina20.livejournal.com]

I definitely think you made a very smart decision!

I do too. I wish it could have worked out otherwise, but, alas, it was not to be.

[beet]

I'm glad you are feeling better. *g* I'm sure something better will come along at a better time.

[serafina20.livejournal.com]

I'm sure something better will come along at a better time.

Oh, there defiently will be. It was a nice apartment and not a bad complex, but, honsetly, the major draw was the fact i had friends living there. Friends who, every day, come up with a different plan to move out. This way, I'll have the time to look around in the city I'll be working in. I also won't be as rushed.

[rose7.livejournal.com]

I think trusting your gut feeling is very reliable as a matter of fact even though for me it was always right to move out and live on my own. But, really, trust your gut feeling and your instincts. I am glad you are feeling that you made the right decision.

[serafina20.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

Moving home

[luvmax1.livejournal.com]

You have to do what you have to do. I lived with my parents well into my twenties, for economic and personal reasons. I don't mind living alone, but sometimes it's just nice to be surrounded by the people who love you. ANd if it gives you a break with the finances, that's good too. I can't imagine, at any age, being unwlecome in my parents' home. My sister is going through a divorce now, and my mother invited her to move back in until she got back on her feet. That's what family is for, to be there during bad and good times.

Re: Moving home

[serafina20.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm not moving home. I've never moved out. Part of the reason I was looking forward to getting a "grown-up" job was the fact I'd *finally* have enough to afford my own place. My summer job was supposed to be help me move out this month, or at least early next month. Sadly, Abigail Abbotts Staffing Services is run by morons with monkey's for brains who are on crack, so I only got 3 jobs.

*sighs* It's not bad living here, but I really wish I could just start my life already away from my parents.

Re: Moving home

[luvmax1.livejournal.com]

SOrry, I misunderstood. I can understand wanting to be on your own, though I remember how scary it can be as well. Either way, I'm sure you'll do fine. And sorry about the temp sevice problems.

[garryowen.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you feel more at ease. Your body is telling you you made the right decision.

Since getting accepted to culinary school, I've been a wreck. Sore muscles, bad digestion... I think I shouldn't go. I think I was just trying to change my life in ANY WAY. But it wasn't the RIGHT change.

Sigh.

[serafina20.livejournal.com]

I think I was just trying to change my life in ANY WAY. But it wasn't the RIGHT change.

Or, to play devil's advocate, it is the right change, and you're just afraid to make that change. NOt that I'm trying to tell you what to do, especially since you've found those writing grants or fellowships, etc. But I have noticed that often, even when I'm moving in a positive direction for myself, I have some of the same sytmptoms as I do when I'm not. It's scary making any change, and there's always a million reasons that you shouldn't do it and why it's wrong. But, at the same time, most of the time, deep down, you just know what you really want to do. I think it sounds like you do.

I've been reading HoD the past couple days; this is my favorite fic that you've written. It's just so incredibly fantastic. :)

[garryowen.livejournal.com]

In this case, I think it isn't the right change. I'm not all that excited about it, nor do I WANT to be a pastry chef. I just want to learn. And it costs too much money for it to be just for fun. I have no doubt I'd ENJOY it. But will I enjoy it 24K worth? No.

However, I still have some time to decide. I'm pretty much at "no." I looked at some MFA programs. I might apply to them just for the hell of it. They'd give me a little extra credential to teach high school English if I ever want/need to, and they'd provide me a community of writers and scheduled time to write. Claremont. Irvine. We'll see. Also applying to a couple of fellowships, one at Stanford, which is really good. Trying to expand the types of writing I"m doing.

I know what you mean about the body, though. Good stuff can make you tense, too.

I'm so glad you like HoD. I sure loved writing it. Though revision was a bitch. :)