Stupid people suck

[serafina20]

X-posted with my teaching journal pallas_athena6

On one of the communities I'm on, someone asked how to deal with gay parents. So someone asked what people thought about gay teachers: should they be out or no. The person who posted the original question made the remark that teachers shouldn't talk about their sex lives, hete or or homo.

That's just such a fucking stupid statement. Because that's not the point. It's not like any gay teacher is going to stand up in front of a class and talk about how they have sex. The issue isn't sex life, it's family life. Straight teachers constantly talk about "my husband" or "my wife." Their SO's come to Back to School night or Open house and eat cookies and drink punch with everyone. They help set up the classroom go on field trips if they came. Sometimes, they drop by for parties or special occasions.

*That's* what the question really gets at. Does being gay or bi mean that you can't have your SO with you for special occassions. Does it mean I shouldn't refer to my girlfriend or wife in conversation with my kids. Do I have to be nothing but myself even if I'm part of a pair?

I'm not worried about this right now, because I'm not with anyone, nor do I need to be with anyone right now. I'm not interested in a relationship with anyone, man or woman, enough to a. look for one or b. be upset I'm not in one. If I were to meet someone, that'd be different, but it's not lacking in my life, so the issue of being a bisexual teacher isn't a big deal. I was a bisexual student teacher for a very conservative master teacher with little problem.

But it does bother me that people can't separate being homosexual with sex. Just as straight people aren't defined by their sex lives, neither are homosexuals. It's about love, and our lives are about how we live, not how we fuck.

Comments

[ellenore.livejournal.com]

Word. The sex life argument always makes me mad too. It's the same as the "don't push it in my face" people. (Like heterosexuality isn't pushed in people's faces.)

[serafina20.livejournal.com]

(Like heterosexuality isn't pushed in people's faces.

No kidding. It's such a stupid argument, and shows such a lack of thought.

[rose7.livejournal.com]

The issue isn't sex life, it's family life. Straight teachers constantly talk about "my husband" or "my wife".

Very good point. Since nobody wants teachers to talk about their sex life, at least in details, to the kids, what those people who ask for "discretion" really want is that homosexuals hide their life. And that just ain't right.

[serafina20.livejournal.com]

Since nobody wants teachers to talk about their sex life, at least in details, to the kids, what those people who ask for "discretion" really want is that homosexuals hide their life. And that just ain't right.

It really is. Or, at the very least, they're not thinking about what they're saying. Maybe it's not as common in other places, but I think every teacher I've had mentioned their husbands, children, and family at different points during the school year. Just an FYI or as an example. But people who make comments like the ones I saw made never think about that when asked about openly gay teachers.

[pepperjackcandy.livejournal.com]

Maybe it was the geographical region (one suburb away from the South Side of Chicago), or the era (1971-1978), but I knew next to nothing about my grade school teachers' home lives. My kindergarten teacher's husband came to school on the last day of class. I was reasonably certain that my 1st, 3rd, 4th and 5th grade teachers *had* husbands (due to the "Mrs."). I knew that my 4th grade teacher was a vegetarian. But really, that's about it.

They could all have been living in some kind of Sapphic love commune and I'd never've been the wiser.

[serafina20.livejournal.com]

Maybe it was the geographical region (one suburb away from the South Side of Chicago), or the era (1971-1978),

It must have been one of those things. Pretty much every teacher I ever had (and I only hat 4 during elementary school) would mention their husbands in some way. Even my master teacher did it. A lot of times it was to illustrate an example, or a real-world situation (such as working in groups, or how what we were learning applied in the real world). Sometimes it'd be on the first day of school when talking about what they did over the summer. A lot of teachers I subbed for had pictures of their husband and kids out. I was reading a first day of school script online and one of the things the teacher planned to include when explaining who they were was to talk about husband and kids. So, in my experience, it's extremely common for teachers to casually touch on their married lives when appropriate, and saying that gay teachers shouldn't be out because that'd be talking about their sex lives (which wasn't what they said, exactly, but it was implied) is very narrowminded and misses the point.

[nasrani.livejournal.com]

That's so true. I think it all boils down to the fact that society just isn't mature enough to accept homosexuality as a way of life even after all these time.

[serafina20.livejournal.com]

I think it all boils down to the fact that society just isn't mature enough to accept homosexuality as a way of life even after all these time.

It's part that and part people just don't think about what they're saying when they make statemetns about that. They don't think about how they act in class or what they say, and consistenly paint the OTHER as something dirty.

Agreeing with Pepperjack

[amf-wip.livejournal.com]

I have to agree with Pepperjack - even in high school, I knew next to nothing about my teachers' personal lives. If the teacher was "Mrs" something, we knew she had been married at some point, or if the teacher had kids in the school, we assumed there was another parent, but that was it. The only teachers who's home life I knew anything about were the parents of friends. Other than that, the spouses never entered into conversation or came to school events that we noticed - again, unless they had kids at the school.

Re: Agreeing with Pepperjack

[serafina20.livejournal.com]

Other than that, the spouses never entered into conversation or came to school events that we noticed - again, unless they had kids at the school.

My experience has been completely diffrent. Even my master teacher when I was student teaching and teachers I subbbed for mentioned their husbands or had pictures out. It would come up naturally (as examples, or when giving the "all about me" speech on the first day of school), but it was always prevalent. And I think it's not a bad thing because it makes teachers more human and referencing SO's experiences in the world is a good teaching tool.

[raveninthewind.livejournal.com]

Just as straight people aren't defined by their sex lives, neither are homosexuals. It's about love, and our lives are about how we live, not how we fuck.

Word.

My only comfort is that things are getting better in many places.

[serafina20.livejournal.com]

My only comfort is that things are getting better in many places.

I hope so.

Thanks.

[raveninthewind.livejournal.com]

I know it is, as long as there isn't a huge backlash in the future.

For example, a lesbian couple I've know for 18 years lives in San Antionio. Both are middle school teachers, one at a religious school. One of them got artificially inseminated twice by the same donor. Result: a boy and a girl, three years apart. The live together and attend parent meetings as a couple.

And in my own experience: a few years ago, at the meeting of my son's highschool's teacher/parents group, my son's advisor spoke opnely of his partner and the foster son they were raising. It made me very glad to see that no one thought it was unusual. I do like Seattle!

[chicklet73.livejournal.com]

It's about love, and our lives are about how we live, not how we fuck.

*applauds you*

[serafina20.livejournal.com]

*applauds you*

*bows*