Gambling, Correction, and Reporter!Lex
Jan. 15th, 2004 08:44 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
serafina20This is why I don't gamble. I'm signed up as a sub in 3 districts. Two of them have automated phone in systems and the third has a guy who calls all the subs in the district to give them work, who you talk to, and you can call and beg for work from. The last district pays the least, so I've been trying to get a job at the other two. The problem is, the system isn't calling me, and I don't know how to make it call me. So, I've been working steadily at the third.
Yesterday morning, as I was getting ready for work, one of the other systems called me. I had to decline the job, but I decided to decline any job from G (the district I'm working in)just in case I got a call today. When the sub guy called, I told him I had a doctor appointment (bad, me, I know).
Neither of the other districts called. So I'm out 95 bucks today. This really sucks.
Correction to last night's journal entry: Clark knows that Lionel has bugged Lex's office and home *before*, not again. That's one of the reasons I think that if he was going to tell Lex everything, it wouldn't have been in that room. Along with it being a burden and being afraid for Lex's saftey, etc.
And, more Reporter!Lex. I think I know everything now. I'm very happy about that. ;)
Previous Parts:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
It took about forty-five minutes for Lex to get back to the Kent's house. Without speaking to anyone, he ran up to the guest room and started packing. He hadn't actually unpacked his entire bag, but the clothes he'd worn, his shoes, the toiletries bag, socks, and pajamas needed to be put back. Even though he stank of horse and sweat, Lex skipped a shower; he just wanted to leave.
He was on the stairs, ready to leave, when he heard the news report.
"The earthquake was 8.4 on the Richter Scale and centered under Los Angeles. The effect has been devastating. Right now, rescue crews, assisted by Superman himself, are engaged in a frantic rescue effort to find survivors. Superman arrived on scene about twenty minutes ago, a mere five minutes after the earthquake occurred.
A sigh escaped Lex, and he was immediately besieged with indecision.
"Lex?" Martha called.
She had that tone. That mother tone, where she knew you were being bad, and wanted you to stop without having to actually do anything about it herself. That sort of, "You know what you're doing, now stop it, come here, and be a good boy," tone, and Lex was, admittedly powerless against it.
He sighed again and went into the living room, head hanging ever so slightly.
Martha and Jonathan were on the couch. Jonathan had his arm around Martha as they gazed at the television. The images were devastating; a completely destroyed building, people screaming and crying. Sirens wailing.
And there, in the middle of it all, was Superman lifting what looked like half a building onto the air to reveal badly injured people.
"How was your ride?" Martha asked. She looked away from the television and reached her hand out for his.
Lex had no choice but to drop his bag to take it. Then he allowed himself to be pulled to the couch next to them. "It was okay." He sighed as Superman, who'd disappeared to get rid of the building, flew back into the frame. "Clark and I had a thing."
"A bad thing?"
"Sort of."
"Is that why you're leaving?" Jonathan asked.
Lex nodded silently.
Jonathan looked at him for a moment. "I don't know what your thing was about, but you should know that Clark always gets more excitable and more easily upset about ten to fifteen minutes before a major catastrophe strikes."
"Really?"
They both nodded.
"It took a long time to figure it out, and it's only if it's a natural disaster. It's sort of like the butterfly effect."
Lex frowned. "Butterfly effect? Like, an earthquake starts stirring in California, and Clark gets upset in Smallville?"
Jonathan nodded. "Everything causes changes to the air or the ground or the atmosphere or something. He senses--hearing, sight, even touch, to a limited extent. He's said that, if he concentrates, he can sometimes feel the vibrations of the earth, but everything is on an unconscious level. He had to concentrate to use his hearing and sight, and he can't do it all the time."
"So, there's no way to figure out where the disaster will occur if he starts getting upset," Lex said.
"No," Jonathan said with a shake of his head. "He's learned to recognize the signals so he can prepare to head out to the disaster, but he can't beat it. The best he can do is head to the Fortress to find out the location as soon as possible."
"Fortress?" Lex asked.
"Come on, Lex," he said, smiling wryly. "You know every superhero needs a secret hideout."
Lex felt his ears warm and nodded. "Of course. Alien technology?"
"The best. Well, I assume the best."
"Cool." He licked his lips and turned back to the television.
There was a news reporter on screen now, earnestly talking into the camera, assuring people that, although the earthquake was devastating, rescues crews are here and, Hey! We have Superman, too.
But Lex didn't really hear him. All he had eyes for was Clark. "He knows I know about him. He's afraid that I only love him because he's Superman."
"Tell him he's an idiot and to get over it," Martha responded. She rose and kissed the top of his head. "I'm going to take your bag back upstairs."
He smiled and nodded. His escape would have been easier had she not been home. He'd bet anything had there not been an earthquake, Martha would have barricaded the door or stolen his car keys to keep him from making his escape. "Okay," he said with a fond smile. "Thanks."
She smiled sweetly at him and disappeared.
After she was gone, Jonathan stretched his arm out over the back of the couch. "She wants to adopt you, you know."
He blushed. "No, I didn't know that."
"She thinks your fantastic and hopes that it works out between you and Clark. And, if it doesn't, she wants to keep you. Says Clark's been too much trouble as it is."
Lex looked away, feeling like he was going to burst into flame. "Uh, okay." He managed to laugh. "Thanks." He cleared his throat. "So, uh, is there anything I can do?"
"You could go take a shower." Jonathan glanced over and smiled at Lex. "You smell like horses."
He blushed this time, a full out blush, and it was humiliating. So was having farmer tell him he stank. "Sorry. I'll go do that."
He jogged upstairs and showered. It was actually better that he did, as he was beginning to feel the workout he'd had. His back and leg muscles were sore, and his injured arm screamed at him. Maybe it had been stupid to go riding, at least as hard as he did, but he couldn't regret it. It'd been a good ride, it'd cleared his head, and even if it'd ended badly, at least now he knew it wasn't all his fault.
Lex stayed in the shower until the water ran cold. Feeling a little better, he climbed out and dried off. There was liniment in his room, which he blessed Martha Kent for and liberally applied to every muscle but his arm. Then, after taking three Advil for his arm, he took a nap.
When he woke up, the rest of the afternoon passed quickly. Martha let him dust the living room and clean the kitchen table. Then, after he sat at the table and pouted at her until she let him help prepare dinner.
"We're going out tonight," Martha said after dinner had been placed in the oven.
"Night on the town?" Lex asked.
"Yep. The Talon's showing *Casablanca*, which is my favorite movie. Afterwards, we'll probably stay for coffee with some friends." She touched his shoulder gently. "Can I trust that you'll still be here when I get back?"
"Cross my heart."
Martha smiled and hugged him tightly. "Fight for him, Lex. I know he's been fighting for you since the two of you met."
He turned slightly to look at her. "He has?"
"The first thing Clark told me when he called on his first day was that he was working with Lex Luthor, and that you were smarter, more brilliant, and more wonderful than he'd even thought. I then spent the next hour listening to him talk about you before he finally remembered that Perry said hi and, oh, yeah, it was his first day today."
Lex smiled; it did sound like Clark.
The Kents left after dinner. By that time, the news stories were winding down. Lex kept the television on as he read, heart occasionally pounding with nervousness in anticipation of Clark returning.
His phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Have you been watching our man on TV?"
"Yeah, Lois," he said wryly, turning the sound off. "Because I have nothing better to do than sit around and watch news reporter say the same thing over and over."
She snorted. "Right. Like I believe you wouldn't make time for this. I'm just surprised that you didn't fly out there to cover it for the Planet."
Lex frowned, wondering if Perry had tried to call him. Then he realized that sending Lex out without his partner would only underscore the fact that Clark was never around when Superman was, so probably not. Besides, technically Lex was still on limited disability, and going into the middle of a wreckage would not be the best idea.
"I can't, Lois. I'm injured."
"That's right. You are." She sighed. "What station are you watching?"
"Uh ... NBC."
"I'm on CNN. Their coverage is more in-depth. Better images, too."
Lex found the remote control and switched channels. Superman was on camera, heroically helping a battered, dusty woman climb from a hole.
"Have you seen him recently?"
"He came by the other day," Lex replied. "We talked a little. I mentioned you."
"What did he say?"
"He's not going to work for you, Lois. Sorry, but he said it violates his ethics. He needs to stay independent and unaffiliated to any one person if he's going to really make a difference in the world." Hey, it was better than nothing. He had a feeling that Clark was going to let Lois hang until she pushed the issue, and then everything would go very badly. Hopefully, she would buy his bit of bullshit and think of it as diplomacy.
Lois sighed. "He'll change his mind. It might not be soon, but he will. He has to."
"Why?"
"One, it's the way the world is going. We're too cynical and corporate driven to need a hero. At least like him. In order to make it in today's world, you need to network. He needs support and publicity and ..."
"I give him publicity."
"Commercial publicity, Lex," Lois said, sounding exasperated. "Not just news reports. Superman commercials. Lunchboxes. Plush toys. Action figures. For starters. And he needs to be backed and financed by a corporation with a name."
"And a corporation needs to protect its image just in case they're convicted of something like illegal chemical dumping." Lex shook his head and laid back on the couch. "Really, Lois, sometimes you are so easy to see though. This is about two things: wanting to make a better image for Lane Enterprises, and fucking him."
She snorted. "Like you're even better? Just reading your article makes my panties wet, Lex. It reads like a love letter."
"No it doesn't." But he was afraid it did, and it showed in his voice.
He could hear her smile over the phone. "Lex, please. I know you better than anyone. I know things about you that you don't even know about yourself."
"Like what?"
"Like the fact that you talk in your sleep."
"I do not."
"Yes, you do. Anyway," she said, her tone changing, "I was wondering if you wanted to come over and watch the news with me. We can eat dinner and mourn our fate."
"Our fate?"
"Celibacy. No Superman. At least for now."
Lex snorted, a grin crossing his face. As much as he hated Lois, it was time like this that he remembered why he still had feelings for her. She was fun to hang out with, when she left the office.
"I can't," he finally replied. "I'm sort of doing something tonight."
"A date?"
"Well, kind of. I'm having dinner with Clark tonight."
"Clark?" She sounded like she had no idea who he was talking about.
"Yes, Clark Kent? My partner? Black hair, greenish eyes? Glasses?"
"He's the guy who you brought to the charity event, right?"
"Yes. He's also the guy who gave me mouth to mouth when I stopped breathing, *and* whom you thought I was dating."
"Please, Lex, I'm a busy woman. You can't expect me to remember all these details."
And then, there were reasons that he really disliked her that had nothing to do with the fact she was a morally ambiguous bitch who'd killed his father and more to do with the fact she was a self-absorbed bitch.
"But congratulations," she added. "I hope it works out."
"Thanks," Lex said, because he knew she did mean it, even if she was going to forget who Clark was in precisely five minutes. "Me too."
The night dragged on. Lex's conversation with Lois ended when she had a visitor and forgot she was on the phone with him.
Bored, Lex wandered back into the kitchen and dug through the cupboards. After some deliberation, he decided to make custard. It was one of his favorite recipes, and easy to make. Clark might need something to eat when he got home.
As he placed the custard in the refrigerator, a chilling thought crossed his mind. Assuming that Clark calmed down enough to listen to him, and Lex overcame the paralyzing fear of what he'd already said to Clark, at least enough to convince Clark he'd meant it, was this going to be his life? While Clark did his superhero gig, was Lex just supposed to stay home? Or at work, more likely?
Which, actually, wasn't a bad thing. Allowing Clark to do the saving and Lex write the stories. Lex wasn't a superhero. He wasn't even a sidekick. He was a reporter. He loved being a reporter. That was his life, it was his blood. The superhero gig was Clark's thing, and Lex was welcome to let him have it.
However, the way Clark was going now, Lex knew there would be plenty of nights where he would be left alone, waiting for Clark to return. And, unless he put his foot down, there would be more times Lex was left alone than not. That'd been the problem that led them here: Clark didn't know how to take a break. He cared so much about everything, and wanted so much to do good, that he didn't know how to save anything for himself. He was trying to do everything. Maybe it was Lex's job to teach Clark to prioritize.
Clark needed Lex to ground him, just like Lex needed Clark to help him fly.
The night dragged on. Lex started chain smoking, heart pounding as he tried to figure out what to say.
"Clark, I know you're Superman, but I love you because you're Clark. No. No, don't use the word love. It's too strong," he said to himself. He took a drag on his cigarette and, as he exhaled, said, "Clark, you are the most gorgeous man I've known .... No. Don't concentrate on his looks. Talk about his person. Talk about ..."
"What? Talk about what?" Clark asked, landing lightly in front of him.
Lex's throat closed.
Clark was still in his costume, and he looked exhausted. There was dirt on his face and in his hair. Splashes of blood and black gunk stuck to his neck and hands. His eyes were haunted.
"You're still here," he said hollowly.
He swallowed and nodded. "I'm still here," Lex agreed.
"I was afraid you'd leave."
"I thought about it." Lex exhaled slowly, making a ring in the air. "I wanted to. Leave, go home. Lock my doors and windows and just forget about everything." He puffed on his cigarette. "I even thought about going to Lois."
Clark's jaw tightened. "Lois."
"Yeah, Lois. She's killing people with her stupidity and arrogance, but she's a good fuck. God, is she a good fuck," he added, leaning back.
"I told you she was more a threat than Lana," Clark said. He sounded pissed, and his voice shook.
Lex shrugged. "I didn't go, Clark. I'm still here." He met Clark's eyes.
He didn't say anything at first. There was tension radiating in his body, and his eyes kept flickering from blue to green, like a television that wasn't working properly. His fists clenched, and he swallowed convulsively.
"Clark," Lex whispered. He tried to put everything he wanted to say into that one word, to break through the tension and make everything, if not all right, then at least manageable.
It must have worked. The tension cracked suddenly, and Clark slumped. As he scrubbed his face with dirty hands, he said, "I'm sorry. You're here. I've been so worried. I shouldn't have left, even for a moment, and I did. I've been so afraid that I was going to pay for that one moment of ...." He trailed off, shaking his head.
Lex ground out his cigarette and said softly, "Come here."
Clark stepped forward in an awkward, tired gate and fell to his knees. Sighing heavily, he laid his head in Lex's lap. "I don't know what to do, Lex."
Lex sighed and combed his fingers through Clark's hair. "Do you remember when I told you I couldn't date you because I didn't date coworkers?"
"Yeah."
"Do you know when I made up that rule?"
Clark shook his head without lifting it from Lex's lap.
"I made it about five hours after I met you. And, believe me, I've been fighting to stick to that since the moment I made it." His thumb traced over Clark's ear. "I've been resisting you the moment I met you because I knew how easy it would be to fall too hard."
"But you didn't act on it until after you knew I was Superman."
"But I always knew Superman was a hopeless fantasy," Lex countered. He twisted the curl around his finger. "Safe. You weren't."
Clark lifted his head. "But you didn't act on your feelings for me until after you knew I was Superman."
"So? I didn't act on my feelings for you until we got out of Metropolis either."
"Which was after ..."
"Oh for Christ's sake, Clark, shut up!"
Clark's mouth snapped shut, eyes going wide.
Lex exhaled shakily and put his hands on Clark's face. "Clark, it doesn't matter that you're Superman. I was drawn to you the moment I met you. There was never any question. Yes, I was excited to meet Superman, but, Clark, I've been a comic geek since I was nine. And, yes, I was attracted to Superman, but what drew me to him was the same traits that drew me to you. Because you're the same person." He swallowed. "I'm so attracted to you, Clark. And, uh, there's this part of me that, against my better judgment, feels really safe with you."
"And Superman."
"You *are* Superman."
But he shook his head. "No, I mean, you trusted me as Superman, which is why you freaked out when you found out I took Lois flying." He took Lex's hands. "I would never use you for a story. Or to be in a story. I only allowed myself to be seen by so many people to save you, and then I only did the interview because you were so excited about it."
Lex sighed. "So it's all my fault."
"No, Lex." Clark raised up on his knees and ran his knuckles down Lex's face. "It was only a matter of time before it happened. I just guess I wasn't ready for the consequences."
"It's more than you expected."
He nodded. "Much more. There are so many people in pain."
"Including yourself. You can't let yourself get so tired, and so frustrated, and so run down that you can't help other people. You have to set limits."
"I know." He slumped again and laid his head back in Lex's lap. "And when I get this tired, I get sloppy. You saw right through me."
"I know how to look." Lex twined his fingers in Clark's hair; he couldn't seem to stop touching it now that he could. "I can give you hints on how to really lose yourself in the par, but I don't think anyone else is going to know. I just wanted so desperately to find out who you were in real life so maybe I could have you then." He cupped Clark's chin and lifted his head. "It was always about finding you."
"You found me."
"Yes, I know," Lex said, nodding. "And I'm sorry you found out the way you did. I meant to wait. All weekend, I've be coming to the conclusion that I can't stay around you for any length of time and *not* be able to touch you." He stroked Clark's cheek. "And you're too ... something to touch you and not be in a relationship." He sighed. "You're too important. *You*, Clark, not just the man in the costume. I was going to find a better way to tell you, but it came out because I was trying to calm you down about Morgan. To make it easier for you, since you were going to tell me. And then, before I could get my head straight, you were gone."
"I'm sorry. I was just so upset." He sighed heavily and picked up his head. "Morgan, you, the earthquake, it was too much." Clark sat next to Lex on the porch steps.
God, the costume was so ridiculous. It was made for flying and looking heroic in, not sitting wearily on the front steps of a country house, trying to figure out the steps to a relationship dance.
"It was a lot," Lex agreed. "And I wasn't thinking rationally, exactly, either. The idea of you and Morgan .... Morgan terrifies me, and the fact that he knows about you makes him even more frightening." He licked his lips. "Your, uh, father told me about how your emotional state can be affected by what's going on."
Clark nodded. "Yeah, it is. I'm sure you can imagine being a teenager with that trait. I was already out of control mood-wise; add in anytime there was an earthquake, or a flood, or a mudslide, and I was a joy, I assure you." He sighed and looked at Lex from the corner of his eye. "It's how I lost Jason."
Lex took his hand and threaded their fingers together. "Oh?"
"Yeah. Jason and I were having problems. I wasn't sleeping because all I could hear were people crying for help and everything. I was always gone, always distant, and there was a cute TA who was constantly hitting on me. After about two months of this, Jason was getting really annoyed. And then it was his birthday." Clark sighed and shook his head. "He really wanted to have a romantic dinner, so I gave it to him. But then, I was late, and distracted, and just. Really, really emotionally out of control. He got sick of it. He was so angry at me, and deserved to be. I was an ass. Anyway, we ended up getting into a huge fight and he left me."
"What was going on?"
"Monsoon in India." He shrugged. "I went to the AI and begged it to tell me what was wrong with me. After hours of it examining me, it came up with that theory." He glanced at Lex. "The AI is basically the computer that my parents sent with me to Earth."
Lex nodded. "Okay."
"I try to keep control. I'm usually really good at recognizing what's going on with my moods and stepping back for air. I spent months learning meditation from yogis and other experts to help me find my emotional center. But sometimes, I just can't, and I lash out or get frustrated or upset."
"I'll try to keep it in mind. It's not an insurmountable thing, and knowing it will help me understand what's going on."
Clark looked up, eyes burning. "And you *want* to know about things like that?"
His airway constricted and Lex found it hard to speak for a moment. It almost felt like he was having an asthma attack. "I, uh, want to know everything, Clark. That's why I stayed." He inhaled hard.
"Breathe, baby," Clark said with a lopsided smile on his face.
Lex made a face at him. "I'm fine."
"Right. This is why you should quit smoking."
"Clark, it doesn't do anything to me," he said quietly.
"Yeah," Clark admitted, a blush touching his cheeks. "I know."
"You've looked?"
"I was worried. I had to look to make sure you weren't getting cancer or something. Forgive me for worrying about the man I love."
The world spiraled suddenly. Lex felt dizzy. Clark's eyes were so intense, so serious and so *loving*, that it was painful for Lex to look at them.
What on earth had he gotten himself into? Christ, this kid was so fucking earnest and beautiful and good. He was too good, and ...
"Stop," Clark whispered before capturing Lex's lips with his. He was warm and strong, his hands splayed on Lex's back and he pulled him close. "I love you. Deal with it."
Lex made a noise in the back of his throat and opened his mouth. His stomach twisted with excitement, and he slid his tongue against Clark's, feeling tingles as they brushed together gently.
"Forgive me if I freak," he asked when they broke apart. "I'm just not good at this sort of thing."
"That's fine." He kissed Lex's forehead. "I'm a little out of practice myself. But the one thing I know is, that when you feel something as deeply as this, you can't let it go because you're afraid. I want you more than I've ever wanted anyone. I've wanted you from the first moment I met you. Yes, I did have a crush on you before that, because of your articles, but the man far outweighed the legend." He traced Lex's cheekbone with his thumb. "And I'm going on faith that you feel the same about me."
"I do."
Clark smiled that wonderful smile that made his eyes glow. "Good." He rose and pulled Lex with him. "Will you share my bed tonight?"
Lex blinked. "What?"
"Sleep with me. No sex, at least not necessarily. I mean, I don't necessarily want it to be under my parents' roof our first time, although it if happens, it happens." He kissed Lex again. "But sleep with me. Tonight."
"Your parents won't mind?" Lex asked out of habit, but he knew the answer. Martha would probably give them her bed if she thought it would get them together faster.
Clark raised his eyebrow in response.
"Yeah, okay. Stupid question." He kissed Clark, feeling a thrill at being free to do it. "Yes, Clark. I'll sleep with you tonight. But no sex; I don't trust the walls."
"Deal."
TBC ...
Yesterday morning, as I was getting ready for work, one of the other systems called me. I had to decline the job, but I decided to decline any job from G (the district I'm working in)just in case I got a call today. When the sub guy called, I told him I had a doctor appointment (bad, me, I know).
Neither of the other districts called. So I'm out 95 bucks today. This really sucks.
Correction to last night's journal entry: Clark knows that Lionel has bugged Lex's office and home *before*, not again. That's one of the reasons I think that if he was going to tell Lex everything, it wouldn't have been in that room. Along with it being a burden and being afraid for Lex's saftey, etc.
And, more Reporter!Lex. I think I know everything now. I'm very happy about that. ;)
Previous Parts:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
It took about forty-five minutes for Lex to get back to the Kent's house. Without speaking to anyone, he ran up to the guest room and started packing. He hadn't actually unpacked his entire bag, but the clothes he'd worn, his shoes, the toiletries bag, socks, and pajamas needed to be put back. Even though he stank of horse and sweat, Lex skipped a shower; he just wanted to leave.
He was on the stairs, ready to leave, when he heard the news report.
"The earthquake was 8.4 on the Richter Scale and centered under Los Angeles. The effect has been devastating. Right now, rescue crews, assisted by Superman himself, are engaged in a frantic rescue effort to find survivors. Superman arrived on scene about twenty minutes ago, a mere five minutes after the earthquake occurred.
A sigh escaped Lex, and he was immediately besieged with indecision.
"Lex?" Martha called.
She had that tone. That mother tone, where she knew you were being bad, and wanted you to stop without having to actually do anything about it herself. That sort of, "You know what you're doing, now stop it, come here, and be a good boy," tone, and Lex was, admittedly powerless against it.
He sighed again and went into the living room, head hanging ever so slightly.
Martha and Jonathan were on the couch. Jonathan had his arm around Martha as they gazed at the television. The images were devastating; a completely destroyed building, people screaming and crying. Sirens wailing.
And there, in the middle of it all, was Superman lifting what looked like half a building onto the air to reveal badly injured people.
"How was your ride?" Martha asked. She looked away from the television and reached her hand out for his.
Lex had no choice but to drop his bag to take it. Then he allowed himself to be pulled to the couch next to them. "It was okay." He sighed as Superman, who'd disappeared to get rid of the building, flew back into the frame. "Clark and I had a thing."
"A bad thing?"
"Sort of."
"Is that why you're leaving?" Jonathan asked.
Lex nodded silently.
Jonathan looked at him for a moment. "I don't know what your thing was about, but you should know that Clark always gets more excitable and more easily upset about ten to fifteen minutes before a major catastrophe strikes."
"Really?"
They both nodded.
"It took a long time to figure it out, and it's only if it's a natural disaster. It's sort of like the butterfly effect."
Lex frowned. "Butterfly effect? Like, an earthquake starts stirring in California, and Clark gets upset in Smallville?"
Jonathan nodded. "Everything causes changes to the air or the ground or the atmosphere or something. He senses--hearing, sight, even touch, to a limited extent. He's said that, if he concentrates, he can sometimes feel the vibrations of the earth, but everything is on an unconscious level. He had to concentrate to use his hearing and sight, and he can't do it all the time."
"So, there's no way to figure out where the disaster will occur if he starts getting upset," Lex said.
"No," Jonathan said with a shake of his head. "He's learned to recognize the signals so he can prepare to head out to the disaster, but he can't beat it. The best he can do is head to the Fortress to find out the location as soon as possible."
"Fortress?" Lex asked.
"Come on, Lex," he said, smiling wryly. "You know every superhero needs a secret hideout."
Lex felt his ears warm and nodded. "Of course. Alien technology?"
"The best. Well, I assume the best."
"Cool." He licked his lips and turned back to the television.
There was a news reporter on screen now, earnestly talking into the camera, assuring people that, although the earthquake was devastating, rescues crews are here and, Hey! We have Superman, too.
But Lex didn't really hear him. All he had eyes for was Clark. "He knows I know about him. He's afraid that I only love him because he's Superman."
"Tell him he's an idiot and to get over it," Martha responded. She rose and kissed the top of his head. "I'm going to take your bag back upstairs."
He smiled and nodded. His escape would have been easier had she not been home. He'd bet anything had there not been an earthquake, Martha would have barricaded the door or stolen his car keys to keep him from making his escape. "Okay," he said with a fond smile. "Thanks."
She smiled sweetly at him and disappeared.
After she was gone, Jonathan stretched his arm out over the back of the couch. "She wants to adopt you, you know."
He blushed. "No, I didn't know that."
"She thinks your fantastic and hopes that it works out between you and Clark. And, if it doesn't, she wants to keep you. Says Clark's been too much trouble as it is."
Lex looked away, feeling like he was going to burst into flame. "Uh, okay." He managed to laugh. "Thanks." He cleared his throat. "So, uh, is there anything I can do?"
"You could go take a shower." Jonathan glanced over and smiled at Lex. "You smell like horses."
He blushed this time, a full out blush, and it was humiliating. So was having farmer tell him he stank. "Sorry. I'll go do that."
He jogged upstairs and showered. It was actually better that he did, as he was beginning to feel the workout he'd had. His back and leg muscles were sore, and his injured arm screamed at him. Maybe it had been stupid to go riding, at least as hard as he did, but he couldn't regret it. It'd been a good ride, it'd cleared his head, and even if it'd ended badly, at least now he knew it wasn't all his fault.
Lex stayed in the shower until the water ran cold. Feeling a little better, he climbed out and dried off. There was liniment in his room, which he blessed Martha Kent for and liberally applied to every muscle but his arm. Then, after taking three Advil for his arm, he took a nap.
When he woke up, the rest of the afternoon passed quickly. Martha let him dust the living room and clean the kitchen table. Then, after he sat at the table and pouted at her until she let him help prepare dinner.
"We're going out tonight," Martha said after dinner had been placed in the oven.
"Night on the town?" Lex asked.
"Yep. The Talon's showing *Casablanca*, which is my favorite movie. Afterwards, we'll probably stay for coffee with some friends." She touched his shoulder gently. "Can I trust that you'll still be here when I get back?"
"Cross my heart."
Martha smiled and hugged him tightly. "Fight for him, Lex. I know he's been fighting for you since the two of you met."
He turned slightly to look at her. "He has?"
"The first thing Clark told me when he called on his first day was that he was working with Lex Luthor, and that you were smarter, more brilliant, and more wonderful than he'd even thought. I then spent the next hour listening to him talk about you before he finally remembered that Perry said hi and, oh, yeah, it was his first day today."
Lex smiled; it did sound like Clark.
The Kents left after dinner. By that time, the news stories were winding down. Lex kept the television on as he read, heart occasionally pounding with nervousness in anticipation of Clark returning.
His phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Have you been watching our man on TV?"
"Yeah, Lois," he said wryly, turning the sound off. "Because I have nothing better to do than sit around and watch news reporter say the same thing over and over."
She snorted. "Right. Like I believe you wouldn't make time for this. I'm just surprised that you didn't fly out there to cover it for the Planet."
Lex frowned, wondering if Perry had tried to call him. Then he realized that sending Lex out without his partner would only underscore the fact that Clark was never around when Superman was, so probably not. Besides, technically Lex was still on limited disability, and going into the middle of a wreckage would not be the best idea.
"I can't, Lois. I'm injured."
"That's right. You are." She sighed. "What station are you watching?"
"Uh ... NBC."
"I'm on CNN. Their coverage is more in-depth. Better images, too."
Lex found the remote control and switched channels. Superman was on camera, heroically helping a battered, dusty woman climb from a hole.
"Have you seen him recently?"
"He came by the other day," Lex replied. "We talked a little. I mentioned you."
"What did he say?"
"He's not going to work for you, Lois. Sorry, but he said it violates his ethics. He needs to stay independent and unaffiliated to any one person if he's going to really make a difference in the world." Hey, it was better than nothing. He had a feeling that Clark was going to let Lois hang until she pushed the issue, and then everything would go very badly. Hopefully, she would buy his bit of bullshit and think of it as diplomacy.
Lois sighed. "He'll change his mind. It might not be soon, but he will. He has to."
"Why?"
"One, it's the way the world is going. We're too cynical and corporate driven to need a hero. At least like him. In order to make it in today's world, you need to network. He needs support and publicity and ..."
"I give him publicity."
"Commercial publicity, Lex," Lois said, sounding exasperated. "Not just news reports. Superman commercials. Lunchboxes. Plush toys. Action figures. For starters. And he needs to be backed and financed by a corporation with a name."
"And a corporation needs to protect its image just in case they're convicted of something like illegal chemical dumping." Lex shook his head and laid back on the couch. "Really, Lois, sometimes you are so easy to see though. This is about two things: wanting to make a better image for Lane Enterprises, and fucking him."
She snorted. "Like you're even better? Just reading your article makes my panties wet, Lex. It reads like a love letter."
"No it doesn't." But he was afraid it did, and it showed in his voice.
He could hear her smile over the phone. "Lex, please. I know you better than anyone. I know things about you that you don't even know about yourself."
"Like what?"
"Like the fact that you talk in your sleep."
"I do not."
"Yes, you do. Anyway," she said, her tone changing, "I was wondering if you wanted to come over and watch the news with me. We can eat dinner and mourn our fate."
"Our fate?"
"Celibacy. No Superman. At least for now."
Lex snorted, a grin crossing his face. As much as he hated Lois, it was time like this that he remembered why he still had feelings for her. She was fun to hang out with, when she left the office.
"I can't," he finally replied. "I'm sort of doing something tonight."
"A date?"
"Well, kind of. I'm having dinner with Clark tonight."
"Clark?" She sounded like she had no idea who he was talking about.
"Yes, Clark Kent? My partner? Black hair, greenish eyes? Glasses?"
"He's the guy who you brought to the charity event, right?"
"Yes. He's also the guy who gave me mouth to mouth when I stopped breathing, *and* whom you thought I was dating."
"Please, Lex, I'm a busy woman. You can't expect me to remember all these details."
And then, there were reasons that he really disliked her that had nothing to do with the fact she was a morally ambiguous bitch who'd killed his father and more to do with the fact she was a self-absorbed bitch.
"But congratulations," she added. "I hope it works out."
"Thanks," Lex said, because he knew she did mean it, even if she was going to forget who Clark was in precisely five minutes. "Me too."
The night dragged on. Lex's conversation with Lois ended when she had a visitor and forgot she was on the phone with him.
Bored, Lex wandered back into the kitchen and dug through the cupboards. After some deliberation, he decided to make custard. It was one of his favorite recipes, and easy to make. Clark might need something to eat when he got home.
As he placed the custard in the refrigerator, a chilling thought crossed his mind. Assuming that Clark calmed down enough to listen to him, and Lex overcame the paralyzing fear of what he'd already said to Clark, at least enough to convince Clark he'd meant it, was this going to be his life? While Clark did his superhero gig, was Lex just supposed to stay home? Or at work, more likely?
Which, actually, wasn't a bad thing. Allowing Clark to do the saving and Lex write the stories. Lex wasn't a superhero. He wasn't even a sidekick. He was a reporter. He loved being a reporter. That was his life, it was his blood. The superhero gig was Clark's thing, and Lex was welcome to let him have it.
However, the way Clark was going now, Lex knew there would be plenty of nights where he would be left alone, waiting for Clark to return. And, unless he put his foot down, there would be more times Lex was left alone than not. That'd been the problem that led them here: Clark didn't know how to take a break. He cared so much about everything, and wanted so much to do good, that he didn't know how to save anything for himself. He was trying to do everything. Maybe it was Lex's job to teach Clark to prioritize.
Clark needed Lex to ground him, just like Lex needed Clark to help him fly.
The night dragged on. Lex started chain smoking, heart pounding as he tried to figure out what to say.
"Clark, I know you're Superman, but I love you because you're Clark. No. No, don't use the word love. It's too strong," he said to himself. He took a drag on his cigarette and, as he exhaled, said, "Clark, you are the most gorgeous man I've known .... No. Don't concentrate on his looks. Talk about his person. Talk about ..."
"What? Talk about what?" Clark asked, landing lightly in front of him.
Lex's throat closed.
Clark was still in his costume, and he looked exhausted. There was dirt on his face and in his hair. Splashes of blood and black gunk stuck to his neck and hands. His eyes were haunted.
"You're still here," he said hollowly.
He swallowed and nodded. "I'm still here," Lex agreed.
"I was afraid you'd leave."
"I thought about it." Lex exhaled slowly, making a ring in the air. "I wanted to. Leave, go home. Lock my doors and windows and just forget about everything." He puffed on his cigarette. "I even thought about going to Lois."
Clark's jaw tightened. "Lois."
"Yeah, Lois. She's killing people with her stupidity and arrogance, but she's a good fuck. God, is she a good fuck," he added, leaning back.
"I told you she was more a threat than Lana," Clark said. He sounded pissed, and his voice shook.
Lex shrugged. "I didn't go, Clark. I'm still here." He met Clark's eyes.
He didn't say anything at first. There was tension radiating in his body, and his eyes kept flickering from blue to green, like a television that wasn't working properly. His fists clenched, and he swallowed convulsively.
"Clark," Lex whispered. He tried to put everything he wanted to say into that one word, to break through the tension and make everything, if not all right, then at least manageable.
It must have worked. The tension cracked suddenly, and Clark slumped. As he scrubbed his face with dirty hands, he said, "I'm sorry. You're here. I've been so worried. I shouldn't have left, even for a moment, and I did. I've been so afraid that I was going to pay for that one moment of ...." He trailed off, shaking his head.
Lex ground out his cigarette and said softly, "Come here."
Clark stepped forward in an awkward, tired gate and fell to his knees. Sighing heavily, he laid his head in Lex's lap. "I don't know what to do, Lex."
Lex sighed and combed his fingers through Clark's hair. "Do you remember when I told you I couldn't date you because I didn't date coworkers?"
"Yeah."
"Do you know when I made up that rule?"
Clark shook his head without lifting it from Lex's lap.
"I made it about five hours after I met you. And, believe me, I've been fighting to stick to that since the moment I made it." His thumb traced over Clark's ear. "I've been resisting you the moment I met you because I knew how easy it would be to fall too hard."
"But you didn't act on it until after you knew I was Superman."
"But I always knew Superman was a hopeless fantasy," Lex countered. He twisted the curl around his finger. "Safe. You weren't."
Clark lifted his head. "But you didn't act on your feelings for me until after you knew I was Superman."
"So? I didn't act on my feelings for you until we got out of Metropolis either."
"Which was after ..."
"Oh for Christ's sake, Clark, shut up!"
Clark's mouth snapped shut, eyes going wide.
Lex exhaled shakily and put his hands on Clark's face. "Clark, it doesn't matter that you're Superman. I was drawn to you the moment I met you. There was never any question. Yes, I was excited to meet Superman, but, Clark, I've been a comic geek since I was nine. And, yes, I was attracted to Superman, but what drew me to him was the same traits that drew me to you. Because you're the same person." He swallowed. "I'm so attracted to you, Clark. And, uh, there's this part of me that, against my better judgment, feels really safe with you."
"And Superman."
"You *are* Superman."
But he shook his head. "No, I mean, you trusted me as Superman, which is why you freaked out when you found out I took Lois flying." He took Lex's hands. "I would never use you for a story. Or to be in a story. I only allowed myself to be seen by so many people to save you, and then I only did the interview because you were so excited about it."
Lex sighed. "So it's all my fault."
"No, Lex." Clark raised up on his knees and ran his knuckles down Lex's face. "It was only a matter of time before it happened. I just guess I wasn't ready for the consequences."
"It's more than you expected."
He nodded. "Much more. There are so many people in pain."
"Including yourself. You can't let yourself get so tired, and so frustrated, and so run down that you can't help other people. You have to set limits."
"I know." He slumped again and laid his head back in Lex's lap. "And when I get this tired, I get sloppy. You saw right through me."
"I know how to look." Lex twined his fingers in Clark's hair; he couldn't seem to stop touching it now that he could. "I can give you hints on how to really lose yourself in the par, but I don't think anyone else is going to know. I just wanted so desperately to find out who you were in real life so maybe I could have you then." He cupped Clark's chin and lifted his head. "It was always about finding you."
"You found me."
"Yes, I know," Lex said, nodding. "And I'm sorry you found out the way you did. I meant to wait. All weekend, I've be coming to the conclusion that I can't stay around you for any length of time and *not* be able to touch you." He stroked Clark's cheek. "And you're too ... something to touch you and not be in a relationship." He sighed. "You're too important. *You*, Clark, not just the man in the costume. I was going to find a better way to tell you, but it came out because I was trying to calm you down about Morgan. To make it easier for you, since you were going to tell me. And then, before I could get my head straight, you were gone."
"I'm sorry. I was just so upset." He sighed heavily and picked up his head. "Morgan, you, the earthquake, it was too much." Clark sat next to Lex on the porch steps.
God, the costume was so ridiculous. It was made for flying and looking heroic in, not sitting wearily on the front steps of a country house, trying to figure out the steps to a relationship dance.
"It was a lot," Lex agreed. "And I wasn't thinking rationally, exactly, either. The idea of you and Morgan .... Morgan terrifies me, and the fact that he knows about you makes him even more frightening." He licked his lips. "Your, uh, father told me about how your emotional state can be affected by what's going on."
Clark nodded. "Yeah, it is. I'm sure you can imagine being a teenager with that trait. I was already out of control mood-wise; add in anytime there was an earthquake, or a flood, or a mudslide, and I was a joy, I assure you." He sighed and looked at Lex from the corner of his eye. "It's how I lost Jason."
Lex took his hand and threaded their fingers together. "Oh?"
"Yeah. Jason and I were having problems. I wasn't sleeping because all I could hear were people crying for help and everything. I was always gone, always distant, and there was a cute TA who was constantly hitting on me. After about two months of this, Jason was getting really annoyed. And then it was his birthday." Clark sighed and shook his head. "He really wanted to have a romantic dinner, so I gave it to him. But then, I was late, and distracted, and just. Really, really emotionally out of control. He got sick of it. He was so angry at me, and deserved to be. I was an ass. Anyway, we ended up getting into a huge fight and he left me."
"What was going on?"
"Monsoon in India." He shrugged. "I went to the AI and begged it to tell me what was wrong with me. After hours of it examining me, it came up with that theory." He glanced at Lex. "The AI is basically the computer that my parents sent with me to Earth."
Lex nodded. "Okay."
"I try to keep control. I'm usually really good at recognizing what's going on with my moods and stepping back for air. I spent months learning meditation from yogis and other experts to help me find my emotional center. But sometimes, I just can't, and I lash out or get frustrated or upset."
"I'll try to keep it in mind. It's not an insurmountable thing, and knowing it will help me understand what's going on."
Clark looked up, eyes burning. "And you *want* to know about things like that?"
His airway constricted and Lex found it hard to speak for a moment. It almost felt like he was having an asthma attack. "I, uh, want to know everything, Clark. That's why I stayed." He inhaled hard.
"Breathe, baby," Clark said with a lopsided smile on his face.
Lex made a face at him. "I'm fine."
"Right. This is why you should quit smoking."
"Clark, it doesn't do anything to me," he said quietly.
"Yeah," Clark admitted, a blush touching his cheeks. "I know."
"You've looked?"
"I was worried. I had to look to make sure you weren't getting cancer or something. Forgive me for worrying about the man I love."
The world spiraled suddenly. Lex felt dizzy. Clark's eyes were so intense, so serious and so *loving*, that it was painful for Lex to look at them.
What on earth had he gotten himself into? Christ, this kid was so fucking earnest and beautiful and good. He was too good, and ...
"Stop," Clark whispered before capturing Lex's lips with his. He was warm and strong, his hands splayed on Lex's back and he pulled him close. "I love you. Deal with it."
Lex made a noise in the back of his throat and opened his mouth. His stomach twisted with excitement, and he slid his tongue against Clark's, feeling tingles as they brushed together gently.
"Forgive me if I freak," he asked when they broke apart. "I'm just not good at this sort of thing."
"That's fine." He kissed Lex's forehead. "I'm a little out of practice myself. But the one thing I know is, that when you feel something as deeply as this, you can't let it go because you're afraid. I want you more than I've ever wanted anyone. I've wanted you from the first moment I met you. Yes, I did have a crush on you before that, because of your articles, but the man far outweighed the legend." He traced Lex's cheekbone with his thumb. "And I'm going on faith that you feel the same about me."
"I do."
Clark smiled that wonderful smile that made his eyes glow. "Good." He rose and pulled Lex with him. "Will you share my bed tonight?"
Lex blinked. "What?"
"Sleep with me. No sex, at least not necessarily. I mean, I don't necessarily want it to be under my parents' roof our first time, although it if happens, it happens." He kissed Lex again. "But sleep with me. Tonight."
"Your parents won't mind?" Lex asked out of habit, but he knew the answer. Martha would probably give them her bed if she thought it would get them together faster.
Clark raised his eyebrow in response.
"Yeah, okay. Stupid question." He kissed Clark, feeling a thrill at being free to do it. "Yes, Clark. I'll sleep with you tonight. But no sex; I don't trust the walls."
"Deal."
TBC ...
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2004-01-15 09:42 am (UTC)That makes me feel MUCH better. Thank you. *pet pet*
*smooch*
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Date: 2004-01-15 04:31 pm (UTC)I'm glad. :) *purrs*
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Date: 2004-01-15 10:00 am (UTC)I was just hoping last night that there would be more of this soon, and here it is! :D
It's all wonderful, but I especially loved Jonathan telling Lex to go take a shower...and that the Kents cleared out of the house for the evening to give the boys some privacy.
*loves*
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Date: 2004-01-15 04:32 pm (UTC)Well, after the show last night, I felt we all deserved a little happiness. :)
Thanks!!
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Date: 2004-01-15 11:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-15 04:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-15 05:04 pm (UTC)That was simply awesome! So perfect!
*mwah*
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Date: 2004-01-15 06:20 pm (UTC)Awww!
Date: 2004-01-15 09:46 pm (UTC)Re: Awww!
Date: 2004-01-16 02:08 pm (UTC)Thanks for the fb. :)