Reporter!Lex Update
Jan. 11th, 2004 08:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
serafina20This part was hard. I actually had to rewrite it, and as i was doing, it turned out completely different from how it originally went. But that's better, since I have a better idea where to go now. And it doesn't drag as much.
Previous parts:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Morning found Lex laying in bed with the intense desire to do something. To move quickly, get his heart pounding, bring sweat to his brow. It felt like forever since he'd exercised, even though it wasn't exactly true. He wasn't a slothful person by any means, and he always found time to exercise. Even with the injured shoulder and the insane schedule he'd had lately, he found enough time squeeze something in. Jogging in place, or jumping jacks. A couple of times, he'd jogged around the block at the dead of night, and once he'd made it to the gym to use the treadmill.
But nothing had really helped the horrible, stretched out feelings he'd been having in Metropolis. If anything, it'd only added to it since there was no joy in the movement. And that was really what Lex needed at the moment: to get outdoors, feel the wind on his face, and just feel. Free. In the moment, and not have to worry about anything else.
He rose, washed up quickly, and went downstairs. His noble intention was to help Jonathan out with the chores, but that was soon shot down. Jonathan asked him to help feed the cows, but as soon as Lex picked up the shovel, a tearing pain went through his arm.
"You okay?" Jonathan asked, snatching the shovel back. He leaned on it, looking concerned.
"Yeah." Lex rubbed his shoulder and sighed. He reached into his pocket to pull out a cigarette when he remembered he'd left it in the house. "I'm sorry. I really wanted to help."
"It's fine, Lex. You're our guest, anyway. I'm not expecting anything. You're here to work and to relax."
Lex nodded and leaned against the fence. "Right, but I need to do something. Clark and I are taking the day off, but I need to move. You know? Get some sort of exercise. I'm not much good at sitting around, especially when I'm feeling like this."
"Like what?"
He shrugged. "I don't know. Antsy, I guess." He sighed and looked out over the fields. "I don't suppose you have any horses."
Jonathan leaned against the fence next to him, eyes also looking out. "Well, no, we don't. But Lana does. I'm sure she'd be thrilled to let you rider her horse."
And that was how Lex found himself standing in front of the Lantry home.
The house, he'd been informed, was the same one Lana had grown up in. It had belonged to her parents before they'd died, and then passed on to her aunt Nell. When Nell had wanted to sell it and move away from Smallville, Lana had refused. She'd ended up living alone in the house until she'd met Derek, since Nell, after selling the Talon, had moved away first to Metropolis and then Gotham.
Lex found it all very strange. He didn't understand being so completely devoted to one place that you couldn't leave. Yes, he still lived in the city where he'd been born, but more out of chance than anything else. His life just happened to revolve around Metropolis, but he'd lived in plenty of other places and still looked forward to a chance to retire somewhere else, like Hawaii or France or something. Some place exotic, and some place where his whole life wasn't known in intimate detail.
But, then, perhaps Lana Lantry nee Lang, was simply a product of her environment. After all, Jonathan Kent lived in the house he'd been born in, and, according to the research Lex had done on Clark when they'd first met, the Kent's had had to fight several times to keep the property. Maybe Lex was missing something in his life, a sense of place, or belonging, of family.
Of course, considering his family, that might be a good thing.
He sighed and shook off his thoughts. He was here to borrow a horse, not analyze the benefit of having a strong sense of family history verses being rootless, without a sense of family history, and loyal to the family name mostly because that name had been wronged by another.
Wishing he'd thought to stop in town to get flowers or something for Lana before coming, Lex walked up the pristine porch steps and knocked on the door.
"Who is it?" Lana's voice sailed to him from somewhere inside.
"It's Lex Luthor," he replied smoothly, calling on all his experience of appearing at someone's door to cover up the fact he felt completely stupid. He wasn't sure what it was, but the idea of borrowing a horse from someone--a virtual stranger, and one who had the "might have beens" for his "maybe, maybe not"--made him feel very awkward.
There was the sound of soft, padding footsteps on wood, and then Lana appeared at the door. She was dressed in a flowing dress that swelled with her form, her hair down, eyes bright.
She was beautiful, Lex would give her that. And business savvy. He could see why Clark had chosen her to devote his teenage puppy-love on.
"Hi, Lex," she said, acting pleased to see him. She opened the door. "Did you want to talk to Derek?"
"No. I, uh, actually came to see you. To, uh, see if I could borrow your horse." He felt his cheeks heat slightly, but he met her eyes squarely.
A grin blossomed over Lana's face. "Oh, yes, of course! Did you want her now, or ..."
"Now's good, if that's okay."
"It's fine. Hold on." She grabbed her coat and then led him down the porch. "I've been trying to get more people to come out and ride Frieda, you know? I can't right now; I'd love to, but I just can't." She rested her hand on her stomach and sighed. "A few kids from the high school have come by, and I hired someone to giver her a good workout at least once a week, but not many people are interested."
"I'm surprised. You'd think people would want to ride horses."
"Well, it's a farm town. Horses aren't exactly a novelty. I'm sure if I offered to pay people to come out just to ride, I'd get more people, but I don't want to have to, you know?" Lana smiled at him wryly, a twinkle in her eye. "I'm tempted to hang up signs advertising I'll charge ten dollars a ride, and then slash it to five. Ever notice that people ignore something that's free, but if it's reduced in price, they'll go for it?"
He laughed. "Yes, I have noticed that. Part of the consumerist mentality, I guess."
"Totally." She led him down a path towards some stables. "How long are you and Clark staying in town?"
"I'm not sure. At least until tomorrow morning. There's no real compelling reason to stay with the information your husband gave us. From here on out, it's a paper trail, and I think we can trace it from Metropolis. But Clark and I really need a day off. It's been a crazy month."
"I can imagine. I read about the shooting. How's your arm?"
He shrugged and followed her into the barn. The horse was in her stable, eating. He went to her and pet the velvety nosed gently. "It's okay. A little sore. I'm sure Clark--not to mention my doctor--won't be happy that I'm going to ride, but I really need to move, you know? I tried to help Mr. Kent with some chores, but I could barely lift the shovel without it feeling as if my arm were going to fall off."
"You going to be okay out there?" Lana asked as she pulled the tact out.
"I'll be fine."
"Well, I hope so." She frowned, looking troubled. Then she said, "I guess we can hope Superman will come save you if anything happens, right?"
He shot her a look, but she seemed completely innocent. "Uh, I don't know. I think I'm a little far out of his jurisdiction." Never mind Superman had been in France last week to stop the Eiffel Tower from falling down. "And a riding accident is hardly worth his notice."
"I guess." But she sounded doubtful. "What's he like?"
"Like?" He thought about it. "He's like everything that's good all wrapped up into one package. He's kind and considerate. Patient. Honest. Funny. Gorgeous. I mean, he's everything you ever hoped for in a hero, and I think he's the real thing."
Lana frowned, her forehead creasing. "I just don't know how I feel about him being an alien. I mean, weren't you scared when you met him?"
Lex blinked, surprised. He knew that some people were having a hard time dealing with the fact an alien was in their world, doing good deeds and such, but, somehow, he hadn't expected Lana to be one of them. She seemed so sweet and accepting, but, apparently, there was a limit to her acceptance.
"I didn't know he was an alien when I first met him," he answered honestly. "I didn't know what he was, and I didn't really care. I was just excited to meet the man who'd rescued me. Then, once he told me, I was excited. Alien life, and I was, like, discovering it. I knew I wasn't, not really, but I was the one introducing him to the world. And, anyway, the fact he was an alien just made him seem really cool to me."
"Oh." Lana continued to frown as she led the horse outside the stable. "I've just had bad experiences with people who are out of the ordinary, you know? As for aliens, one time back in high school, I met a kid who thought he was an alien. He freaked me out. I mean, he *wasn't* an alien, of course, but he thought he was. And he had some weird powers." She pat the horse on it's flank. "He healed my boyfriend's horse in front of my eyes. I remember .... I remember Clark asking me if I would ever like to meet a real alien, or something, and I said I'd been too scared."
Ah, the irony. But, the good thing was that if Lana didn't know about Clark, then she couldn't be the woman Clark had mentioned who'd volunteered to have his children. Thank God. Lex didn't hate Lana, but she wasn't right for the job.
"I wasn't scared at all," Lex said. "He was too heroic."
"But, you think Superman is what he says?" Lana asked. "A decent person? Uh, alien?"
"Yes, I do."
At first, Lana didn't answer. She continued to work on getting the horse ready, a thoughtful frown on her face. Then, she sighed. "Well, I hope so," she finally replied, still sounding doubtful. "The world needs a hero, a real one."
Lex returned the smile as he helped saddle the horse up. "Superman is one. Trust me."
"I'll have to. And we'll see what he does in the future." She moved around the horse and was silent a moment. Then, Lex heard her take a deep breath. "So. Are you and Clark together?"
He blinked, surprised she'd asked. Surprised she'd noticed anything between him and Clark, really. He hadn't thought their attraction would be noticeable to other people. But she had, so he answered honestly, "Not really."
"Is that not really as in, you're just sleeping together but it's not serious, you're dating casually but it's probably not going to go anywhere, or you're both desperately in love with each other but not acting on it?"
Lex looked at her. "What do you think?"
Lana tilted her head and smiled at him. "I think you're both desperately in love with each other, but incredibly stupid.
"We're not stupid," he protested gently. No sense in denying it, especially not after last night. "We're just in a weird place."
"You *are* in love!" she exclaimed, lighting up. "Oh, I thought so, but Derek told me I was crazy. Of course, he still thinks Clark is straight and won't believe anything else. And he's not sure about you. I *tried* to tell him about that time I saw you with the boy, but he insists it was just ..."
"Wait, wait, wait!" Lex interrupted. "What time you saw me with *what* boy?"
She blushed. "Oh." Lana looked away, clearing her throat. "Um, when I was about ten years old I had a riding competition in Metropolis. Your father invited Nell and me to stay at your place. I was all excited because I knew you had an indoor pool, but when I went down to swim, I saw you skinny dipping with a boy."
He felt himself turn bright red. Of all the memories he'd wanted to drag up, that had to have been the last on earth. Getting caught by a child .... Getting outted by a child. It'd been humiliating.
"I remember that," he replied, eyes closing. "That's how Dad found out I was bi. I didn't realize that was you."
"Yeah, it was. And I swear I didn't tell anyone!"
"No, but you went running through the house, all freaked out. Dad saw you run out of the pool, and knew something was up. He came in and found us." He shook his head at the memory. "Christ, he was pissed. When I'd brought Jeremy home from school with me, I'd just told Dad that he was a friend from and his parents were in Europe and he needed a place to stay." He rubbed his eyes. "I'm sorry," he offered, knowing that, really, he'd done nothing wrong, but feeling he should offer the apology anyway.
She shook her head. "Please. I'm over it. I mean, it was a little startling at the time, but it's fine. Truthfully, what I remember more than what you were doing was they way you were looking at each other."
He thought back, but had no idea what she was talking about.
His confusion must have shown on his face, because she laughed and said, "Both of you had that look on your faces. Like the world could end, and it wouldn't matter." Lana licked her lips. "Did you love him?"
Lex sighed. Jeremy. His first for so many things. Black hair, hazel eyes, freckles scattered across his nose. He'd been quite and bookish and had the hands of an artist. Those hands had painted pictures on Lex's body in the art room late at night, had played him like an instrument by the lake on lazy afternoons, and held Lex safely nights when the demons screamed too loud. He'd had a smile that could melt walls and a tongue that could light fires.
He sighed again. "Yeah. I did. He was my first boyfriend, the first guy I'd slept with, first guy I loved. I, ah, trusted him, which was a huge deal. And he didn't even really fuck me over in any big way. Just moved to a prep school in Switzerland." He hadn't thought about Jeremy in years. A few years after college, Jeremy had married a socialite, divorced in four months, and then remarried a girl with no money and no family. They had six children, a house in the suburbs, an SUV, a dog, and were living happily every after.
Lex hadn't gone to the wedding, although he'd sent a gift. Once, he'd gotten a Christmas card. But, other than that, nothing. He didn't exist in Jeremy's world anymore.
"Sometimes things just end," Lana said, sounding sad. "It's nicer when that happens, because then you're left with that bittersweet, 'It might have been,' feeling rather than anger and resentment." She smiled and touched his arm gently. "Anyway, you look the same way at Clark. Only more."
Lex felt his ears warm and he finished tightening the saddle. "Yeah, well. Like I said, we're not dating. And it's complicated."
Lana put her hand over his. "That's what I said, too. Do yourself a favor, Lex. Uncomplicated it."
He was silent a moment, looking at their hands. It was more complicated than Lana thought it was, he knew. He wasn't some teenager girl with a hang-up about secrets. He knew the big one. The secret to end all secrets, but even if he didn't, it wouldn't matter. Clark had been winning anyway. That had been the problem in the first place. None of his anxiety had ever been about Superman.
It had been about Clark. And the complication wasn't some secret or mystery, but Lex himself.
"Thanks," he finally said, figuring that's what she wanted. She was just trying to be helpful. Lana was happy, and, therefore, she wanted everyone else, even her ex-boyfriend, to be happy as well.
So he smiled at her, tried to make it a real smile, and said, "Thanks," again. Then he mounted the horse, wincing slightly as he pulled his arm.
"Here." Lana handed him a helmet. "I don't want to get sued."
Lex rolled his eyes and took it. As he put it on, he asked, "By the way, does she jump?"
Lana's eyes widened and a look of alarm crossed her face. "Why? Do you?"
He grinned and kicked the horse. Immediately, she took off at a gallop, leaving Lana behind to wonder.
But, he was good. At first. The Lantry's had a huge property, and Lex took the time to explore it. After all, it was Lana's horse, and it'd been a long time since he'd been riding; he didn't want to go off the property and promptly fall off and break his leg. Not that he thought he would, but it was better to be safe than sorry these days. Especially since he didn't want to cry out as he fell and have Superman show up and complicate things.
Everything was complicated enough.
Lex rode to the boundary of the Lantry property as marked by a strong wooden fence. As he rode, he let his mind go blank and concentrated on the cadence of the horse. He rose and fell in the saddle, body moving, gradually finding the rhythm. Memories came back to him as he rode, images of his mother.
His mother had loved riding. It had been one of her great joys in life. Every day, she would go out to the stables and ride for at least three hours. When Lex was old enough (three), she started taking him. At first, he'd either rode with her, or was walked on his own horse. He remembered the feeling of terror that had gone through him, as well as the desperate need to please his mother and, gradually, as he got bigger (which was slowly; he'd been a tiny kid), he'd grown less afraid. And more skilled. And, soon, he and his mother were galloping over the landscape, laughing and taunting each other as they rode.
And then, Lex had been caught in the meteor shower. As he'd recovered, his mother had gotten pregnant. Then the baby had died. And then she'd gotten sick.
Then she'd died.
Jeremy was the one who'd gotten Lex back into riding. It'd been too painful for him at first, but he'd been coaxed by a pretty smile, and soon found himself back on the horse. That was when he realized that riding, feeling the wind on his face, feeling his muscles work, and the motion, and the freedom brought him closer to his mother than anything else.
He rode for about a forty-five minutes before he felt as if he were sitting comfortable. Then he leapt over the fence and hit the open road.
The horse seemed to be glad to be free, too. The moment Lex kicked her, he could feel the change, feel the electric charge go through her muscles. She charged the fence like a pro determined to prove herself, taking Lex with her. They moved as one, muscles bunched, and sailed over the fence, just barely capturing something Lex had only felt with Superman.
Then her hoofs hit the grass and they were off.
The fields were a blur, and all that existed was the moment. Lex's heart pounded, blood rushing through his veins. His body woke, feeling as if it'd been sleeping for too long. Ever since that night where magic had caused him to fly in more ways than one.
He tilted his head back, eyes falling shut and simply trusted the animal to take him safely. The sun beat down on his face. Warmth bled down through his skin, painting his body with feeling and happiness. His mind was blissfully blank, his heart whole, and, in that moment of pure, crystal clarity, Lex knew exactly what he wanted.
He didn't know how long they'd been running, but, by mutual consent, he and the horse slowed to a walk. Lex sighed and wiped sweat from his eyes as he looked at his surroundings.
Smallville was more beautiful than he'd imagined it could be, a spot of the old in the middle of a changing world. The air was crisp and clean, so unlike the air of Metropolis. The secrets here didn't hurt, the pain didn't dig quite so deeply, and there was a sense of eternal optimism. They'd survived fire from the heavens, and could therefore survive anything.
Lex sighed and turned the horse down a small wooden lane. He was relaxed now. Awake. For the first time in a month, his mind wasn't cramped, and he could finally *think*. He could put together puzzles in his sleep, obviously, since he had, after all, put together Clark and Superman. Now, though, he could deal with the knowledge.
There was a problem, but it wasn't that Clark was Superman. For all Lex's anguish about his new pretty partner, and his realization on that magical flight that Superman wasn't real, finding out they were one in the same wasn't bad. In fact, it made matters so much easier. In some ways. Superman wasn't real, but Clark was. Lex had wanted Superman's secret identity from the beginning, and now he had it.
The problem was, knowing the secret identity meant Lex had to gather the courage to fall for him. If he hadn't already fallen, that was. Which he was pretty sure he had.
The problem was mustering up the courage to go for this. To get into a relationship with Clark. And to find a way to convince Clark it was because Lex loved *him*, not because of Superman.
Lex sighed and kicked the horse into a trot. He wished he knew how to proceed. It had literally been years since he'd met anyone as important as Clark. Someone that tugged at him and confused him and made him so incredibly dizzy and stupid.
The last time he'd been in a serious relationship had been about five six years ago. He'd met a girl at a journalism conference, they'd hit it off, and had dated for about three months. Then he'd found out she'd been trying to get a job with the Planet. That ended their relationship quickly. Lex had decided that romance just wasn't worth it after that; he'd been screwed over too many times. He'd satisfied himself with one night stands and buddy fucks after that.
But now there was Clark. Probably the one being in the universe Lex could trust not to use him, and Lex had no idea how to make the first move. Especially not with something as important and delicate as this.
He sighed again. Life would be so much easier with an instruction manual.
The trees cleared slightly and Lex suddenly found himself facing a chain-linked fence with an open gate. A sign on the gate informed Lex that he was at the Kwatche cave site, and the sight was closed to the public, but he could call the Kwatche tribal government and arrange to have a tour, and trespasser would be prosecuted. There was also a sign proclaiming the site was currently being studied by the Metropolis State University linguistic department in conjunction with Native American studies, and he could contact Simon Muller, Ph.D., the site facilitator.
Whatever. Lex dismounted just inside the gate and tied up the horse. Then he entered the cave.
The cave was very dimly lit, both the entrance and the first room. More light bled in from further in the cave; Lex walked towards it. To his surprise, it was occupied.
"Clark," he said. He froze, resting his hand on the wall. He was unsure of what to do; Clark was stretched out on the floor, eyes closed, looking completely at rest. He didn't want to interrupt.
Clark sat up and turned, eyes wide. "Oh. Lex. Hey. What are you doing here?"
He shrugged. "Just exploring. I borrowed Lana's horse and was riding. We ended up here. You?"
"Revisiting the past."
"You used to hang out here, I take it?"
"Yeah. I found these caves, um, sort of." Clark pointed to a hole in the 'roof' that had been carefully supported to prevent further cave-ins. Light streamed through, adding to the small lantern that Clark had brought. "I was sixteen and out riding with a friend. Dirt bikes, not horses. I crashed and fell off; when I hit the ground, I crashed through the roof and landed here. There was a girl in here, studying the caves with her grandfather. She said the cave-in opened the wall over there," he pointed, "and revealed this part, which had been hidden for years." Clark shrugged and turned to face Lex. "I spent a lot of time down here."
Hesitantly, Lex crossed the cave and gently touched a wall. There were symbols painted on the wall, little pictograph type things. Further up were paintings. A story, he could tell, from the way they were put together. He wondered what it all said. "You were allowed?"
"Yeah. The Kwatche Indians owned the land, and they had custodianship of the caves. The girl I found down here was Kwatche, as was her grandfather. Because of them, they let me come down."
"Has anyone ever been down here to translate?" Lex trailed his fingers over the cold stone, studying them carefully.
"Yeah, but, uh, no one was ever able to figure it out."
Lex wandered around the cave, looking at everything closely. The hairs on the back of his neck prickled, and he got the sense that Clark was watching him very closely. Which meant this cave had a deeper meaning than just a neat find and a possible pretty girl.
He looked more closely. There was an octagon cut in the wall. Gently, he traced the shape with his fingers, feeling a thrill go through him. This was not a natural shape, and it didn't match anything else on the walls. Well, not the paintings. The symbols, yes, which had a different flavor than the fluid lines and colors of the paintings, but not the paintings themselves.
"Different origins," he said finally, turning away from the octagon. He looked up at the paintings, then back at the symbols and octagon. "By two different groups of people maybe."
"Something like that. The Kwatche didn't have a written alphabet. They communicated through story, song, and paintings. Sometimes both." He pointed to the paintings. "Those told the story of a man who fell from the stars. He was supposed help the Kwatche people." Clark sighed. "Kyla knew the story better than I do."
He pulled away from the wall and went to Clark. "Kyla?" Just because the emotion he'd said the name with warranted some attention. He placed his hands on Clark's shoulders and leaned against him.
Clark laughed and leaned back. His head tilted so he could look at Lex. "A pleasant distraction from not getting anywhere with Lana. She *really* liked me, and went after me more aggressively than anyone had ever before." His smile grew. "It was nice."
"What happened?" Lex asked, sitting next to Clark.
"You won't believe me."
"Try me."
Clark raised an eyebrow and looked at him skeptically. Then he said, "She was a skinwalker. It was the belief of her tribe that the could turn into animals. Her animal was a wolf, and she was shot by a hunter."
Lex frowned. Clark seemed serious, and Lex, who had read the articles of the strange things that happened in Smallville, didn't think it was his place to refute his statement. Still, he had to ask, "They found the wolf and no one ever saw Kyla again?"
"No. They found her body. But when her murder was put on trial, he swore up and down he didn't kill her. He shot a wolf. He swore he thought it was a wolf, but when he got up to her, it was a girl. He got ten to fifteen for involuntary manslaughter. The guy was a hunter. They figured it really was an accident and he'd thought he was shooting an animal." Clark frowned. "I've always felt bad for him, but I didn't know what to do, you know? Fact was, she was dead."
"You loved her," Lex said.
"Not loved." Clark turned his head to look at Lex. "Liked. Was thrilled by the idea that she like me back, and flattered that she wanted me. She was the second--and last--girl I slept with. But I didn't love her." He gazed up at the wall again. "She was convinced we were destined to be together, and, for a little while, I believed her. I, uh, wanted to believe her, you know?"
Lex gazed at Clark for a moment, studying the beautiful face. "Sometimes," he said finally, "it's nice to believe things are meant to be."
"Yeah," Clark whispered. He turned away from the wall to look at Lex again. "It is. Especially when you meet that one person who makes everything make sense."
"Yeah." Lex hesitated, heart pounding wildly. He hesitated, eyes canvassing Clark's face and then, mustering up his courage, he leaned forward and kissed Clark.
Clark turned almost immediately and closed his arms around Lex. One hand pressed against Lex's back, holding him in place. Clark's mouth opened, tongue stroking over Lex's partially parted mouth until he gave in and opened all the way.
A warm, wet tongue slid inside Lex's mouth, gently touching his own. Lex made a sound deep in his mouth, limbs turning liquid.
Dear lord. Clark turned him on faster than anyone ever had in his life. Touched him deeper, too.
The kiss was gentle, sweet, and comforting. This didn't need to be rushed; they had all the time the needed, and all that was, was the moment.
They broke apart, both breathing a little heavier than before. Resting his forehead against Clark's, Lex whispered, "Tell me the story?"
"Of the paintings?" Clark's voice caught when Lex gently stroked behind Clark's ears, feeling the softness of the skin.
He wrapped that elusive curl behind Clark's left ear around his finger. "Yes."
"It tells the story of the savior of the Kwatche people. A man who will come from the stars and lead them into ... something. I was never quite clear on that whole thing." His lips brushed over Lex's eyelids, and then up to his forehead. "His ancestor came years before him, and gave the Kwatche people the gift of shape changing. From him sprung the first skinwalkers. Then he left, promising that another, Naman, would follow. Naman has this whole destiny, girl, brother, a duty to keep the balance between light and darkness. A whole thing." His lips closed around Lex's bottom lip and he sucked it gently. Then, after kissing Lex again, he added, "It's just a story."
"But it fascinates you." He pulled away slightly so he could look in Clark's eyes.
Clark nodded. "I wonder about the people who left all this," and when he said it, Lex knew he wasn't talking about the Kwatche. "Their thoughts and hopes. Their dreams. Why here? Why this place, why these people? Why this story? Why .... Just why."
"I hope you find your answers."
His smiled a little sadly and shook his had. "Sometimes, I think I have. And then, more questions come up."
Lex sighed and leaned into Clark. Once again, the strong arms closed around him, comforting this time, holding and protecting him.
"There are always questions, Clark."
"We deal in them. I know. So, why are you so afraid to find the answer about your father's papers?"
He pulled away and rubbed his eyes. "I don't know. Part of it is the man who probably has the papers. Morgan Edge. He was my father's closest friend, and I'm just ... scared of him for some reason."
Clark went still. "Morgan Edge?" he said softly.
Lex looked up. Clark's eyes were blazing, jaw very tight. He looked frightening, actually, although it might have just been the lighting in the barn.
"Yes. You've heard of him?"
"Yeah, I've heard of him." He sounded pissed. "Shit." He stood and walked away.
"What is it?" Lex asked. He rose as well.
Clark shook his head. "Nothing. I've just .... I've more than heard of him, Lex." He rested his hands against the cave wall, head bowed. "I didn't want ... I ..."
Stomach churning, Lex walked to Clark and put his hand on Clark's back. "Clark, what's going on? Why are you so upset? I mean, I know Morgan Edge is a criminal, but sometimes, we're going to have to interview them. No, I don't particularly want to see Morgan, but ..."
"I used to work for Morgan Edge," Clark said. "In various capacities."
The words sounded familiar. They might even had been English, but they had to be some strange, bizarre variation of English, because they made no sense.
He swallowed. "Uh, what?"
Clark turned and leaned against the wall. "I used to work for Morgan Edge. Stole a bunch of stuff for him. Gave him a few blow jobs. Roughed people up. That sort of stuff. He knows who I am."
"So do I," Lex said.
Now it was Clark's turn to look like he didn't understand what Lex was talking about.
So, Lex put his arms around Clark and kissed him gently. "I know who you are, Clark. And if Morgan Edge is going to be a threat ..."
"Lex, he has to know already. Even with you withholding my name in your article, he's not stupid."
"No," Lex agreed. "He's not. But there's a difference between flying around the city, stopping crimes and then disappearing again, and meeting him face to face."
Clark laughed and looked away. "Oh, God, you do know. I thought you were ... were reaching, you know? Trying to say that no matter what I did in my past, you knew I was good or something. But you know." He pulled away. "No wonder."
Lex grabbed his arm. "No, Clark."
"How long have you known?"
"Since I put together that the meteor shower happened in Smallville, and Superman came down in a meteor shower," Lex said. "Before our fight. Before you took me to Edge City. The more I researched, the more I realized he must have came here. And you are such a mystery anyway, Clark. The glasses." He reached up and pulled them from Clark's face. "They way you try to hide yourself in plain sight. Your voice. Your eyes, and yes, I know Superman's are blue, but they bleed sometimes, and I can see the green. You have the same teeth, Clark. And there was blood on your hand the night of the interview, *my* blood, from the cut you bandaged. There were so many things I knew, or thought I knew, and was afraid I knew, but I wasn't absolutely positive until yesterday afternoon."
"Why yesterday? Did you hear Dad and me talking or something?" He sounded near tears.
Lex shook his head and stepped into Clark. He pressed a desperate kiss into Clark's cheeks and whispered, "You told me that we're never given more than we can handle. Twice. First as Superman and as yourself. That's when I knew. But that's not why I'm here, Clark. That's not why I want you. Superman isn't real, Clark. He's not the person, he's the image. You're real, and you terrify me, but, God, I can't not want you. I haven't been able to stop myself no matter how many rules I make about it or obstacles I throw in my way to you." He pressed closer and kissed Clark on the lips. "Don't ever doubt that it's you, Clark."
Clark turned and looked down at Lex. His eyes were full of tears. "But you were so excited to meet Superman. So in love with me in that costume."
"Because you were *safe*. The image was safe. Clark, do you know what my life is like? Romantically? I've had *one* relationship that ended fine. One normal, healthy relationship. I decided long ago not to get involved in anything that might end up with me being hurt. What better way than to fall in love with something I couldn't have?"
"So you do love Superman."
Lex swallowed hard. "Not as much as I love you."
Clark closed his eyes. A tear escaped down his cheek. "I need to think about this."
"Clark ..."
But he was gone.
TBC ...
Previous parts:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Morning found Lex laying in bed with the intense desire to do something. To move quickly, get his heart pounding, bring sweat to his brow. It felt like forever since he'd exercised, even though it wasn't exactly true. He wasn't a slothful person by any means, and he always found time to exercise. Even with the injured shoulder and the insane schedule he'd had lately, he found enough time squeeze something in. Jogging in place, or jumping jacks. A couple of times, he'd jogged around the block at the dead of night, and once he'd made it to the gym to use the treadmill.
But nothing had really helped the horrible, stretched out feelings he'd been having in Metropolis. If anything, it'd only added to it since there was no joy in the movement. And that was really what Lex needed at the moment: to get outdoors, feel the wind on his face, and just feel. Free. In the moment, and not have to worry about anything else.
He rose, washed up quickly, and went downstairs. His noble intention was to help Jonathan out with the chores, but that was soon shot down. Jonathan asked him to help feed the cows, but as soon as Lex picked up the shovel, a tearing pain went through his arm.
"You okay?" Jonathan asked, snatching the shovel back. He leaned on it, looking concerned.
"Yeah." Lex rubbed his shoulder and sighed. He reached into his pocket to pull out a cigarette when he remembered he'd left it in the house. "I'm sorry. I really wanted to help."
"It's fine, Lex. You're our guest, anyway. I'm not expecting anything. You're here to work and to relax."
Lex nodded and leaned against the fence. "Right, but I need to do something. Clark and I are taking the day off, but I need to move. You know? Get some sort of exercise. I'm not much good at sitting around, especially when I'm feeling like this."
"Like what?"
He shrugged. "I don't know. Antsy, I guess." He sighed and looked out over the fields. "I don't suppose you have any horses."
Jonathan leaned against the fence next to him, eyes also looking out. "Well, no, we don't. But Lana does. I'm sure she'd be thrilled to let you rider her horse."
And that was how Lex found himself standing in front of the Lantry home.
The house, he'd been informed, was the same one Lana had grown up in. It had belonged to her parents before they'd died, and then passed on to her aunt Nell. When Nell had wanted to sell it and move away from Smallville, Lana had refused. She'd ended up living alone in the house until she'd met Derek, since Nell, after selling the Talon, had moved away first to Metropolis and then Gotham.
Lex found it all very strange. He didn't understand being so completely devoted to one place that you couldn't leave. Yes, he still lived in the city where he'd been born, but more out of chance than anything else. His life just happened to revolve around Metropolis, but he'd lived in plenty of other places and still looked forward to a chance to retire somewhere else, like Hawaii or France or something. Some place exotic, and some place where his whole life wasn't known in intimate detail.
But, then, perhaps Lana Lantry nee Lang, was simply a product of her environment. After all, Jonathan Kent lived in the house he'd been born in, and, according to the research Lex had done on Clark when they'd first met, the Kent's had had to fight several times to keep the property. Maybe Lex was missing something in his life, a sense of place, or belonging, of family.
Of course, considering his family, that might be a good thing.
He sighed and shook off his thoughts. He was here to borrow a horse, not analyze the benefit of having a strong sense of family history verses being rootless, without a sense of family history, and loyal to the family name mostly because that name had been wronged by another.
Wishing he'd thought to stop in town to get flowers or something for Lana before coming, Lex walked up the pristine porch steps and knocked on the door.
"Who is it?" Lana's voice sailed to him from somewhere inside.
"It's Lex Luthor," he replied smoothly, calling on all his experience of appearing at someone's door to cover up the fact he felt completely stupid. He wasn't sure what it was, but the idea of borrowing a horse from someone--a virtual stranger, and one who had the "might have beens" for his "maybe, maybe not"--made him feel very awkward.
There was the sound of soft, padding footsteps on wood, and then Lana appeared at the door. She was dressed in a flowing dress that swelled with her form, her hair down, eyes bright.
She was beautiful, Lex would give her that. And business savvy. He could see why Clark had chosen her to devote his teenage puppy-love on.
"Hi, Lex," she said, acting pleased to see him. She opened the door. "Did you want to talk to Derek?"
"No. I, uh, actually came to see you. To, uh, see if I could borrow your horse." He felt his cheeks heat slightly, but he met her eyes squarely.
A grin blossomed over Lana's face. "Oh, yes, of course! Did you want her now, or ..."
"Now's good, if that's okay."
"It's fine. Hold on." She grabbed her coat and then led him down the porch. "I've been trying to get more people to come out and ride Frieda, you know? I can't right now; I'd love to, but I just can't." She rested her hand on her stomach and sighed. "A few kids from the high school have come by, and I hired someone to giver her a good workout at least once a week, but not many people are interested."
"I'm surprised. You'd think people would want to ride horses."
"Well, it's a farm town. Horses aren't exactly a novelty. I'm sure if I offered to pay people to come out just to ride, I'd get more people, but I don't want to have to, you know?" Lana smiled at him wryly, a twinkle in her eye. "I'm tempted to hang up signs advertising I'll charge ten dollars a ride, and then slash it to five. Ever notice that people ignore something that's free, but if it's reduced in price, they'll go for it?"
He laughed. "Yes, I have noticed that. Part of the consumerist mentality, I guess."
"Totally." She led him down a path towards some stables. "How long are you and Clark staying in town?"
"I'm not sure. At least until tomorrow morning. There's no real compelling reason to stay with the information your husband gave us. From here on out, it's a paper trail, and I think we can trace it from Metropolis. But Clark and I really need a day off. It's been a crazy month."
"I can imagine. I read about the shooting. How's your arm?"
He shrugged and followed her into the barn. The horse was in her stable, eating. He went to her and pet the velvety nosed gently. "It's okay. A little sore. I'm sure Clark--not to mention my doctor--won't be happy that I'm going to ride, but I really need to move, you know? I tried to help Mr. Kent with some chores, but I could barely lift the shovel without it feeling as if my arm were going to fall off."
"You going to be okay out there?" Lana asked as she pulled the tact out.
"I'll be fine."
"Well, I hope so." She frowned, looking troubled. Then she said, "I guess we can hope Superman will come save you if anything happens, right?"
He shot her a look, but she seemed completely innocent. "Uh, I don't know. I think I'm a little far out of his jurisdiction." Never mind Superman had been in France last week to stop the Eiffel Tower from falling down. "And a riding accident is hardly worth his notice."
"I guess." But she sounded doubtful. "What's he like?"
"Like?" He thought about it. "He's like everything that's good all wrapped up into one package. He's kind and considerate. Patient. Honest. Funny. Gorgeous. I mean, he's everything you ever hoped for in a hero, and I think he's the real thing."
Lana frowned, her forehead creasing. "I just don't know how I feel about him being an alien. I mean, weren't you scared when you met him?"
Lex blinked, surprised. He knew that some people were having a hard time dealing with the fact an alien was in their world, doing good deeds and such, but, somehow, he hadn't expected Lana to be one of them. She seemed so sweet and accepting, but, apparently, there was a limit to her acceptance.
"I didn't know he was an alien when I first met him," he answered honestly. "I didn't know what he was, and I didn't really care. I was just excited to meet the man who'd rescued me. Then, once he told me, I was excited. Alien life, and I was, like, discovering it. I knew I wasn't, not really, but I was the one introducing him to the world. And, anyway, the fact he was an alien just made him seem really cool to me."
"Oh." Lana continued to frown as she led the horse outside the stable. "I've just had bad experiences with people who are out of the ordinary, you know? As for aliens, one time back in high school, I met a kid who thought he was an alien. He freaked me out. I mean, he *wasn't* an alien, of course, but he thought he was. And he had some weird powers." She pat the horse on it's flank. "He healed my boyfriend's horse in front of my eyes. I remember .... I remember Clark asking me if I would ever like to meet a real alien, or something, and I said I'd been too scared."
Ah, the irony. But, the good thing was that if Lana didn't know about Clark, then she couldn't be the woman Clark had mentioned who'd volunteered to have his children. Thank God. Lex didn't hate Lana, but she wasn't right for the job.
"I wasn't scared at all," Lex said. "He was too heroic."
"But, you think Superman is what he says?" Lana asked. "A decent person? Uh, alien?"
"Yes, I do."
At first, Lana didn't answer. She continued to work on getting the horse ready, a thoughtful frown on her face. Then, she sighed. "Well, I hope so," she finally replied, still sounding doubtful. "The world needs a hero, a real one."
Lex returned the smile as he helped saddle the horse up. "Superman is one. Trust me."
"I'll have to. And we'll see what he does in the future." She moved around the horse and was silent a moment. Then, Lex heard her take a deep breath. "So. Are you and Clark together?"
He blinked, surprised she'd asked. Surprised she'd noticed anything between him and Clark, really. He hadn't thought their attraction would be noticeable to other people. But she had, so he answered honestly, "Not really."
"Is that not really as in, you're just sleeping together but it's not serious, you're dating casually but it's probably not going to go anywhere, or you're both desperately in love with each other but not acting on it?"
Lex looked at her. "What do you think?"
Lana tilted her head and smiled at him. "I think you're both desperately in love with each other, but incredibly stupid.
"We're not stupid," he protested gently. No sense in denying it, especially not after last night. "We're just in a weird place."
"You *are* in love!" she exclaimed, lighting up. "Oh, I thought so, but Derek told me I was crazy. Of course, he still thinks Clark is straight and won't believe anything else. And he's not sure about you. I *tried* to tell him about that time I saw you with the boy, but he insists it was just ..."
"Wait, wait, wait!" Lex interrupted. "What time you saw me with *what* boy?"
She blushed. "Oh." Lana looked away, clearing her throat. "Um, when I was about ten years old I had a riding competition in Metropolis. Your father invited Nell and me to stay at your place. I was all excited because I knew you had an indoor pool, but when I went down to swim, I saw you skinny dipping with a boy."
He felt himself turn bright red. Of all the memories he'd wanted to drag up, that had to have been the last on earth. Getting caught by a child .... Getting outted by a child. It'd been humiliating.
"I remember that," he replied, eyes closing. "That's how Dad found out I was bi. I didn't realize that was you."
"Yeah, it was. And I swear I didn't tell anyone!"
"No, but you went running through the house, all freaked out. Dad saw you run out of the pool, and knew something was up. He came in and found us." He shook his head at the memory. "Christ, he was pissed. When I'd brought Jeremy home from school with me, I'd just told Dad that he was a friend from and his parents were in Europe and he needed a place to stay." He rubbed his eyes. "I'm sorry," he offered, knowing that, really, he'd done nothing wrong, but feeling he should offer the apology anyway.
She shook her head. "Please. I'm over it. I mean, it was a little startling at the time, but it's fine. Truthfully, what I remember more than what you were doing was they way you were looking at each other."
He thought back, but had no idea what she was talking about.
His confusion must have shown on his face, because she laughed and said, "Both of you had that look on your faces. Like the world could end, and it wouldn't matter." Lana licked her lips. "Did you love him?"
Lex sighed. Jeremy. His first for so many things. Black hair, hazel eyes, freckles scattered across his nose. He'd been quite and bookish and had the hands of an artist. Those hands had painted pictures on Lex's body in the art room late at night, had played him like an instrument by the lake on lazy afternoons, and held Lex safely nights when the demons screamed too loud. He'd had a smile that could melt walls and a tongue that could light fires.
He sighed again. "Yeah. I did. He was my first boyfriend, the first guy I'd slept with, first guy I loved. I, ah, trusted him, which was a huge deal. And he didn't even really fuck me over in any big way. Just moved to a prep school in Switzerland." He hadn't thought about Jeremy in years. A few years after college, Jeremy had married a socialite, divorced in four months, and then remarried a girl with no money and no family. They had six children, a house in the suburbs, an SUV, a dog, and were living happily every after.
Lex hadn't gone to the wedding, although he'd sent a gift. Once, he'd gotten a Christmas card. But, other than that, nothing. He didn't exist in Jeremy's world anymore.
"Sometimes things just end," Lana said, sounding sad. "It's nicer when that happens, because then you're left with that bittersweet, 'It might have been,' feeling rather than anger and resentment." She smiled and touched his arm gently. "Anyway, you look the same way at Clark. Only more."
Lex felt his ears warm and he finished tightening the saddle. "Yeah, well. Like I said, we're not dating. And it's complicated."
Lana put her hand over his. "That's what I said, too. Do yourself a favor, Lex. Uncomplicated it."
He was silent a moment, looking at their hands. It was more complicated than Lana thought it was, he knew. He wasn't some teenager girl with a hang-up about secrets. He knew the big one. The secret to end all secrets, but even if he didn't, it wouldn't matter. Clark had been winning anyway. That had been the problem in the first place. None of his anxiety had ever been about Superman.
It had been about Clark. And the complication wasn't some secret or mystery, but Lex himself.
"Thanks," he finally said, figuring that's what she wanted. She was just trying to be helpful. Lana was happy, and, therefore, she wanted everyone else, even her ex-boyfriend, to be happy as well.
So he smiled at her, tried to make it a real smile, and said, "Thanks," again. Then he mounted the horse, wincing slightly as he pulled his arm.
"Here." Lana handed him a helmet. "I don't want to get sued."
Lex rolled his eyes and took it. As he put it on, he asked, "By the way, does she jump?"
Lana's eyes widened and a look of alarm crossed her face. "Why? Do you?"
He grinned and kicked the horse. Immediately, she took off at a gallop, leaving Lana behind to wonder.
But, he was good. At first. The Lantry's had a huge property, and Lex took the time to explore it. After all, it was Lana's horse, and it'd been a long time since he'd been riding; he didn't want to go off the property and promptly fall off and break his leg. Not that he thought he would, but it was better to be safe than sorry these days. Especially since he didn't want to cry out as he fell and have Superman show up and complicate things.
Everything was complicated enough.
Lex rode to the boundary of the Lantry property as marked by a strong wooden fence. As he rode, he let his mind go blank and concentrated on the cadence of the horse. He rose and fell in the saddle, body moving, gradually finding the rhythm. Memories came back to him as he rode, images of his mother.
His mother had loved riding. It had been one of her great joys in life. Every day, she would go out to the stables and ride for at least three hours. When Lex was old enough (three), she started taking him. At first, he'd either rode with her, or was walked on his own horse. He remembered the feeling of terror that had gone through him, as well as the desperate need to please his mother and, gradually, as he got bigger (which was slowly; he'd been a tiny kid), he'd grown less afraid. And more skilled. And, soon, he and his mother were galloping over the landscape, laughing and taunting each other as they rode.
And then, Lex had been caught in the meteor shower. As he'd recovered, his mother had gotten pregnant. Then the baby had died. And then she'd gotten sick.
Then she'd died.
Jeremy was the one who'd gotten Lex back into riding. It'd been too painful for him at first, but he'd been coaxed by a pretty smile, and soon found himself back on the horse. That was when he realized that riding, feeling the wind on his face, feeling his muscles work, and the motion, and the freedom brought him closer to his mother than anything else.
He rode for about a forty-five minutes before he felt as if he were sitting comfortable. Then he leapt over the fence and hit the open road.
The horse seemed to be glad to be free, too. The moment Lex kicked her, he could feel the change, feel the electric charge go through her muscles. She charged the fence like a pro determined to prove herself, taking Lex with her. They moved as one, muscles bunched, and sailed over the fence, just barely capturing something Lex had only felt with Superman.
Then her hoofs hit the grass and they were off.
The fields were a blur, and all that existed was the moment. Lex's heart pounded, blood rushing through his veins. His body woke, feeling as if it'd been sleeping for too long. Ever since that night where magic had caused him to fly in more ways than one.
He tilted his head back, eyes falling shut and simply trusted the animal to take him safely. The sun beat down on his face. Warmth bled down through his skin, painting his body with feeling and happiness. His mind was blissfully blank, his heart whole, and, in that moment of pure, crystal clarity, Lex knew exactly what he wanted.
He didn't know how long they'd been running, but, by mutual consent, he and the horse slowed to a walk. Lex sighed and wiped sweat from his eyes as he looked at his surroundings.
Smallville was more beautiful than he'd imagined it could be, a spot of the old in the middle of a changing world. The air was crisp and clean, so unlike the air of Metropolis. The secrets here didn't hurt, the pain didn't dig quite so deeply, and there was a sense of eternal optimism. They'd survived fire from the heavens, and could therefore survive anything.
Lex sighed and turned the horse down a small wooden lane. He was relaxed now. Awake. For the first time in a month, his mind wasn't cramped, and he could finally *think*. He could put together puzzles in his sleep, obviously, since he had, after all, put together Clark and Superman. Now, though, he could deal with the knowledge.
There was a problem, but it wasn't that Clark was Superman. For all Lex's anguish about his new pretty partner, and his realization on that magical flight that Superman wasn't real, finding out they were one in the same wasn't bad. In fact, it made matters so much easier. In some ways. Superman wasn't real, but Clark was. Lex had wanted Superman's secret identity from the beginning, and now he had it.
The problem was, knowing the secret identity meant Lex had to gather the courage to fall for him. If he hadn't already fallen, that was. Which he was pretty sure he had.
The problem was mustering up the courage to go for this. To get into a relationship with Clark. And to find a way to convince Clark it was because Lex loved *him*, not because of Superman.
Lex sighed and kicked the horse into a trot. He wished he knew how to proceed. It had literally been years since he'd met anyone as important as Clark. Someone that tugged at him and confused him and made him so incredibly dizzy and stupid.
The last time he'd been in a serious relationship had been about five six years ago. He'd met a girl at a journalism conference, they'd hit it off, and had dated for about three months. Then he'd found out she'd been trying to get a job with the Planet. That ended their relationship quickly. Lex had decided that romance just wasn't worth it after that; he'd been screwed over too many times. He'd satisfied himself with one night stands and buddy fucks after that.
But now there was Clark. Probably the one being in the universe Lex could trust not to use him, and Lex had no idea how to make the first move. Especially not with something as important and delicate as this.
He sighed again. Life would be so much easier with an instruction manual.
The trees cleared slightly and Lex suddenly found himself facing a chain-linked fence with an open gate. A sign on the gate informed Lex that he was at the Kwatche cave site, and the sight was closed to the public, but he could call the Kwatche tribal government and arrange to have a tour, and trespasser would be prosecuted. There was also a sign proclaiming the site was currently being studied by the Metropolis State University linguistic department in conjunction with Native American studies, and he could contact Simon Muller, Ph.D., the site facilitator.
Whatever. Lex dismounted just inside the gate and tied up the horse. Then he entered the cave.
The cave was very dimly lit, both the entrance and the first room. More light bled in from further in the cave; Lex walked towards it. To his surprise, it was occupied.
"Clark," he said. He froze, resting his hand on the wall. He was unsure of what to do; Clark was stretched out on the floor, eyes closed, looking completely at rest. He didn't want to interrupt.
Clark sat up and turned, eyes wide. "Oh. Lex. Hey. What are you doing here?"
He shrugged. "Just exploring. I borrowed Lana's horse and was riding. We ended up here. You?"
"Revisiting the past."
"You used to hang out here, I take it?"
"Yeah. I found these caves, um, sort of." Clark pointed to a hole in the 'roof' that had been carefully supported to prevent further cave-ins. Light streamed through, adding to the small lantern that Clark had brought. "I was sixteen and out riding with a friend. Dirt bikes, not horses. I crashed and fell off; when I hit the ground, I crashed through the roof and landed here. There was a girl in here, studying the caves with her grandfather. She said the cave-in opened the wall over there," he pointed, "and revealed this part, which had been hidden for years." Clark shrugged and turned to face Lex. "I spent a lot of time down here."
Hesitantly, Lex crossed the cave and gently touched a wall. There were symbols painted on the wall, little pictograph type things. Further up were paintings. A story, he could tell, from the way they were put together. He wondered what it all said. "You were allowed?"
"Yeah. The Kwatche Indians owned the land, and they had custodianship of the caves. The girl I found down here was Kwatche, as was her grandfather. Because of them, they let me come down."
"Has anyone ever been down here to translate?" Lex trailed his fingers over the cold stone, studying them carefully.
"Yeah, but, uh, no one was ever able to figure it out."
Lex wandered around the cave, looking at everything closely. The hairs on the back of his neck prickled, and he got the sense that Clark was watching him very closely. Which meant this cave had a deeper meaning than just a neat find and a possible pretty girl.
He looked more closely. There was an octagon cut in the wall. Gently, he traced the shape with his fingers, feeling a thrill go through him. This was not a natural shape, and it didn't match anything else on the walls. Well, not the paintings. The symbols, yes, which had a different flavor than the fluid lines and colors of the paintings, but not the paintings themselves.
"Different origins," he said finally, turning away from the octagon. He looked up at the paintings, then back at the symbols and octagon. "By two different groups of people maybe."
"Something like that. The Kwatche didn't have a written alphabet. They communicated through story, song, and paintings. Sometimes both." He pointed to the paintings. "Those told the story of a man who fell from the stars. He was supposed help the Kwatche people." Clark sighed. "Kyla knew the story better than I do."
He pulled away from the wall and went to Clark. "Kyla?" Just because the emotion he'd said the name with warranted some attention. He placed his hands on Clark's shoulders and leaned against him.
Clark laughed and leaned back. His head tilted so he could look at Lex. "A pleasant distraction from not getting anywhere with Lana. She *really* liked me, and went after me more aggressively than anyone had ever before." His smile grew. "It was nice."
"What happened?" Lex asked, sitting next to Clark.
"You won't believe me."
"Try me."
Clark raised an eyebrow and looked at him skeptically. Then he said, "She was a skinwalker. It was the belief of her tribe that the could turn into animals. Her animal was a wolf, and she was shot by a hunter."
Lex frowned. Clark seemed serious, and Lex, who had read the articles of the strange things that happened in Smallville, didn't think it was his place to refute his statement. Still, he had to ask, "They found the wolf and no one ever saw Kyla again?"
"No. They found her body. But when her murder was put on trial, he swore up and down he didn't kill her. He shot a wolf. He swore he thought it was a wolf, but when he got up to her, it was a girl. He got ten to fifteen for involuntary manslaughter. The guy was a hunter. They figured it really was an accident and he'd thought he was shooting an animal." Clark frowned. "I've always felt bad for him, but I didn't know what to do, you know? Fact was, she was dead."
"You loved her," Lex said.
"Not loved." Clark turned his head to look at Lex. "Liked. Was thrilled by the idea that she like me back, and flattered that she wanted me. She was the second--and last--girl I slept with. But I didn't love her." He gazed up at the wall again. "She was convinced we were destined to be together, and, for a little while, I believed her. I, uh, wanted to believe her, you know?"
Lex gazed at Clark for a moment, studying the beautiful face. "Sometimes," he said finally, "it's nice to believe things are meant to be."
"Yeah," Clark whispered. He turned away from the wall to look at Lex again. "It is. Especially when you meet that one person who makes everything make sense."
"Yeah." Lex hesitated, heart pounding wildly. He hesitated, eyes canvassing Clark's face and then, mustering up his courage, he leaned forward and kissed Clark.
Clark turned almost immediately and closed his arms around Lex. One hand pressed against Lex's back, holding him in place. Clark's mouth opened, tongue stroking over Lex's partially parted mouth until he gave in and opened all the way.
A warm, wet tongue slid inside Lex's mouth, gently touching his own. Lex made a sound deep in his mouth, limbs turning liquid.
Dear lord. Clark turned him on faster than anyone ever had in his life. Touched him deeper, too.
The kiss was gentle, sweet, and comforting. This didn't need to be rushed; they had all the time the needed, and all that was, was the moment.
They broke apart, both breathing a little heavier than before. Resting his forehead against Clark's, Lex whispered, "Tell me the story?"
"Of the paintings?" Clark's voice caught when Lex gently stroked behind Clark's ears, feeling the softness of the skin.
He wrapped that elusive curl behind Clark's left ear around his finger. "Yes."
"It tells the story of the savior of the Kwatche people. A man who will come from the stars and lead them into ... something. I was never quite clear on that whole thing." His lips brushed over Lex's eyelids, and then up to his forehead. "His ancestor came years before him, and gave the Kwatche people the gift of shape changing. From him sprung the first skinwalkers. Then he left, promising that another, Naman, would follow. Naman has this whole destiny, girl, brother, a duty to keep the balance between light and darkness. A whole thing." His lips closed around Lex's bottom lip and he sucked it gently. Then, after kissing Lex again, he added, "It's just a story."
"But it fascinates you." He pulled away slightly so he could look in Clark's eyes.
Clark nodded. "I wonder about the people who left all this," and when he said it, Lex knew he wasn't talking about the Kwatche. "Their thoughts and hopes. Their dreams. Why here? Why this place, why these people? Why this story? Why .... Just why."
"I hope you find your answers."
His smiled a little sadly and shook his had. "Sometimes, I think I have. And then, more questions come up."
Lex sighed and leaned into Clark. Once again, the strong arms closed around him, comforting this time, holding and protecting him.
"There are always questions, Clark."
"We deal in them. I know. So, why are you so afraid to find the answer about your father's papers?"
He pulled away and rubbed his eyes. "I don't know. Part of it is the man who probably has the papers. Morgan Edge. He was my father's closest friend, and I'm just ... scared of him for some reason."
Clark went still. "Morgan Edge?" he said softly.
Lex looked up. Clark's eyes were blazing, jaw very tight. He looked frightening, actually, although it might have just been the lighting in the barn.
"Yes. You've heard of him?"
"Yeah, I've heard of him." He sounded pissed. "Shit." He stood and walked away.
"What is it?" Lex asked. He rose as well.
Clark shook his head. "Nothing. I've just .... I've more than heard of him, Lex." He rested his hands against the cave wall, head bowed. "I didn't want ... I ..."
Stomach churning, Lex walked to Clark and put his hand on Clark's back. "Clark, what's going on? Why are you so upset? I mean, I know Morgan Edge is a criminal, but sometimes, we're going to have to interview them. No, I don't particularly want to see Morgan, but ..."
"I used to work for Morgan Edge," Clark said. "In various capacities."
The words sounded familiar. They might even had been English, but they had to be some strange, bizarre variation of English, because they made no sense.
He swallowed. "Uh, what?"
Clark turned and leaned against the wall. "I used to work for Morgan Edge. Stole a bunch of stuff for him. Gave him a few blow jobs. Roughed people up. That sort of stuff. He knows who I am."
"So do I," Lex said.
Now it was Clark's turn to look like he didn't understand what Lex was talking about.
So, Lex put his arms around Clark and kissed him gently. "I know who you are, Clark. And if Morgan Edge is going to be a threat ..."
"Lex, he has to know already. Even with you withholding my name in your article, he's not stupid."
"No," Lex agreed. "He's not. But there's a difference between flying around the city, stopping crimes and then disappearing again, and meeting him face to face."
Clark laughed and looked away. "Oh, God, you do know. I thought you were ... were reaching, you know? Trying to say that no matter what I did in my past, you knew I was good or something. But you know." He pulled away. "No wonder."
Lex grabbed his arm. "No, Clark."
"How long have you known?"
"Since I put together that the meteor shower happened in Smallville, and Superman came down in a meteor shower," Lex said. "Before our fight. Before you took me to Edge City. The more I researched, the more I realized he must have came here. And you are such a mystery anyway, Clark. The glasses." He reached up and pulled them from Clark's face. "They way you try to hide yourself in plain sight. Your voice. Your eyes, and yes, I know Superman's are blue, but they bleed sometimes, and I can see the green. You have the same teeth, Clark. And there was blood on your hand the night of the interview, *my* blood, from the cut you bandaged. There were so many things I knew, or thought I knew, and was afraid I knew, but I wasn't absolutely positive until yesterday afternoon."
"Why yesterday? Did you hear Dad and me talking or something?" He sounded near tears.
Lex shook his head and stepped into Clark. He pressed a desperate kiss into Clark's cheeks and whispered, "You told me that we're never given more than we can handle. Twice. First as Superman and as yourself. That's when I knew. But that's not why I'm here, Clark. That's not why I want you. Superman isn't real, Clark. He's not the person, he's the image. You're real, and you terrify me, but, God, I can't not want you. I haven't been able to stop myself no matter how many rules I make about it or obstacles I throw in my way to you." He pressed closer and kissed Clark on the lips. "Don't ever doubt that it's you, Clark."
Clark turned and looked down at Lex. His eyes were full of tears. "But you were so excited to meet Superman. So in love with me in that costume."
"Because you were *safe*. The image was safe. Clark, do you know what my life is like? Romantically? I've had *one* relationship that ended fine. One normal, healthy relationship. I decided long ago not to get involved in anything that might end up with me being hurt. What better way than to fall in love with something I couldn't have?"
"So you do love Superman."
Lex swallowed hard. "Not as much as I love you."
Clark closed his eyes. A tear escaped down his cheek. "I need to think about this."
"Clark ..."
But he was gone.
TBC ...
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2004-01-11 09:16 pm (UTC)LOVED LOVED LOVED this chapter. :-) There was kissage!! And now Clark knows that Lex knows! *bounce* I love this.
*smooches you*
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Date: 2004-01-13 06:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-11 09:56 pm (UTC)I think I'm going to die of suspense here.
*twitch*
They need loving NOW!
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Date: 2004-01-13 06:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-11 09:59 pm (UTC)Think quickly, Clark. The wait's killing me!
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Date: 2004-01-13 06:58 am (UTC)Ooo, so sweet and...
Date: 2004-01-11 10:51 pm (UTC)Re: Ooo, so sweet and...
Date: 2004-01-13 06:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-11 11:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-13 07:01 am (UTC)Thanks for the fb!
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Date: 2004-01-11 11:35 pm (UTC)love the chat with Lana, *love* the horse (really great description here), love Clark's reaction at the end--but I don't think I'm 100% getting why he's crying. I can see Lex wanting desperately to assure him of his love...but Clark isn't really a weepy sort of guy, and as inquisitive as Lex is, it might merit a question. Maybe? I dunno.
Still hooked. Still loving it. :D
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Date: 2004-01-13 06:11 pm (UTC)So, *so* hard to write for some reason. thanks for tell me that you liked it. I appreciate it.
but I don't think I'm 100% getting why he's crying.
There's a reason, at least there is unless I end up taking it out. In which case, the tear will come out int he final draft.
Thanks!!
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Date: 2004-01-11 11:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-13 06:11 pm (UTC)Thank you!!!
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Date: 2004-01-12 07:19 am (UTC)Good installment!
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Date: 2004-01-13 06:12 pm (UTC)Thank you!!
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Date: 2004-01-12 12:32 pm (UTC)Even Kyla died without confronting the Luthors over the caves.
There are focal points in their lives that are leading them to their destinies that will happen in the course of their lives whether they meet as children or as adults. Whether Lex is a billionaire industrialist or a reporter.
I just have one tiny complaint (and it's not just you). It's getting to be a bit cliche for either Clark to superspeed away from a confrontation or Lex to walk out on an emotional situational "to think about this."
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Date: 2004-01-14 07:40 pm (UTC)As for the cliche .... All I can say is I've written over 42 SV fics, and I've only had them run away from a confrontation maybe three of four times. I'm sorry your tired of it, but it's needed occassionally so they're not always dealing with problems in a mature, adult manner.
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Date: 2004-01-12 12:40 pm (UTC)Great job, hon. Can't wait for the next part.
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Date: 2004-01-13 07:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-12 09:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-14 07:42 pm (UTC)I promise he won't. I am happy ending girl, after all. ;)
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Date: 2004-01-13 07:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-14 07:43 pm (UTC)