What I Should Have Said
Mar. 13th, 2018 07:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
serafina20I have a student who is not able to subtract single digit numbers to 8 fluently. He’s been struggling with it for awhile. His parents came to Math Night and were taught some games to play with him to help increase his fluency. They’ve bought flash cards. I recommended some apps. I also suggested that Mom made sure he did his homework every night (finishing his timed tests).
Mom said, “I try, but then he gets mad at me.”
What I said was something like, “Oh. Well, it will help him out, giving him the extra practice he needs.”
What I should have said was, “That’s okay. It’s okay if he gets mad at you. You need to set the boundaries and enforce them, even if he gets mad.”
I just… don’t have the confidence. And it sucks because, by this time, I’m not the youngest person in that room like I was when I was a beginning teacher and I should have developed the confidence by now.
This was not the only conference where I should have said something I didn’t either. I had another one where one of my students is starting to display disrespectful behavior towards me. I told Mom, hoping to get a, “Well, I will talk with him and if he continues the behavior, there will be consequences, so let me know.” What I got was, “I know! He’s the same way with me! I tell him to do something and he won’t do it. I don’t know what to do.”
Again, that boundaries and consequences things was what should have come out of my mouth. But, instead, I said I was going to start cracking down on him at school, taking away recess (we get two 20 minute recess blocks; he can miss 10 minutes for being disrespectful and still have time to get his energy out on the playground), giving infractions, etc.
But I wish I’d said the boundaries and consequences thing. That’s something I’m going to practice this summer so it’s in my arsenal next time it comes up.
Because next time, I will have the confidence to say it.
104 days to Disney World.
Mom said, “I try, but then he gets mad at me.”
What I said was something like, “Oh. Well, it will help him out, giving him the extra practice he needs.”
What I should have said was, “That’s okay. It’s okay if he gets mad at you. You need to set the boundaries and enforce them, even if he gets mad.”
I just… don’t have the confidence. And it sucks because, by this time, I’m not the youngest person in that room like I was when I was a beginning teacher and I should have developed the confidence by now.
This was not the only conference where I should have said something I didn’t either. I had another one where one of my students is starting to display disrespectful behavior towards me. I told Mom, hoping to get a, “Well, I will talk with him and if he continues the behavior, there will be consequences, so let me know.” What I got was, “I know! He’s the same way with me! I tell him to do something and he won’t do it. I don’t know what to do.”
Again, that boundaries and consequences things was what should have come out of my mouth. But, instead, I said I was going to start cracking down on him at school, taking away recess (we get two 20 minute recess blocks; he can miss 10 minutes for being disrespectful and still have time to get his energy out on the playground), giving infractions, etc.
But I wish I’d said the boundaries and consequences thing. That’s something I’m going to practice this summer so it’s in my arsenal next time it comes up.
Because next time, I will have the confidence to say it.
104 days to Disney World.
