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Feb. 22nd, 2012 09:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
serafina20Title: Something More Important
Fandom: Captain America
Rating: Mature
Pairing: Steve/Bucky, Steve/Peggy
Summary: Steve Rogers is determined to join the Army and go off to war. Bucky is concerned what will happen if she's discovered. rule!63 Steve.
Part 1a
Part 1b
Part 2
Part 3 & 4
Bucky’s never been so aware of time before. Never paid attention to how seconds turn to minutes and into hours and into days until there’s suddenly a deadline looming. He only has a precious number of seconds/hours/days left with Stevie before she’s out of his life, probably forever.
Because he doesn’t really have any illusions about what’s going to happen over there. Not like Stevie does, so convinced that all she needs is to get over there to make things right. Or the guys at boot camp with their talk of heroics and glory. Too many people he knew have gone over and not come back. Why would he be any different?
So he hoards his seconds/hours/days that he has left with her. Stays up half the night, listening to her breathe. Finds excuses to meet her at work during the day and be there when she gets off. He cajoles her to Coney Island and back onto the Cyclone (she pukes again) and into an instant photo booth so he has something recent to take overseas with him. They go to Ebbets Field, even though it’s off season and lounge around, eating hot dogs from street vendors and watching people go by.
And every day, Bucky checks for his orders with his heart in his throat. Breathes a little easier when he’s told to wait.
“Nothing yet?” Stevie asks every day.
“Not yet.”
The shadows in Stevie’s eyes darken. The tension in Bucky’s stomach gets even tighter. The executioner’s sentence looms.
He knows that Stevie’s going to try to join up again. The close call last time isn’t enough to knock some sense into her. And he don’t know how to get it through her thick skull. All he can do is hope that no doctor looks too closely and they continue to stamp their 4F on her enlistment forms.
“Sergeant James Barnes, reporting for orders,” he says for what feels like the zillionth time. You’da thought they knew him on sight by now, except none of them ever seemed to actually look him in the face.
This time’s different, though. The man actually looks up at him. Nods. “Have a seat, Sergeant. They’ll be with you shortly.”
He obeys with a sinking feeling in his stomach. Feels sick, like Stevie on the Cyclone. He sits for seconds/hours/days until he’s called in. Given his order and he wants to laugh. The 107th. Stevie is going to kill him.
People on the street look at him differently when he walks by in uniform. They look at him with respect, like he’s done something. Before, he got a vague mistrust from anyone over age thirty, like he was some hooligan not to be trusted. But, throw on a uniform and it was a whole ‘nother ballgame. He was someone to look up to because they had no idea he was a traitor who’d betrayed his best friend.
Stevie has the day off. Bucky has seconds before he ships off, and he should spend the day with her, but he finds himself wandering the streets. He feels sick and sad. Reckless.
He goes into a diner, because it’s early afternoon and he’s in uniform and shouldn’t be looking for trouble. Instead, he orders a cup of coffee and a burger. Who knows when he’s going to get to eat this good again? Maybe he should get a sundae or something, while he still can. Except, that makes him think of Stevie, because it’s pathetic to eat ice cream on your own when you could be with your best friend. So, a burger and coffee it is.
He hears some giggling from a booth nearby. When he glances over, there are two beautiful girls sitting there, heads together, curls bouncing, as they giggle together. They’re looking at him, and blushes bloom on their cheeks like flowers when he meets their eyes.
He gives them a smile.
The giggles multiply. The brunette bats her eyelashes at him. Waves him over.
Okay, then.
“Afternoon.” Bucky slides into the booth across from the girls. Leans forward, arms on the table.
The brunette grins. “Hi, soldier. What’s your name?”
“Sergeant James Barnes. But you can call me Bucky.”
More giggles.
“And what should I call you?”
“Bonnie. And this Connie.” She tilts her head towards the blond.
Bucky raises his eyebrows. “Bonnie and Connie. That’s real cute. Sisters?”
“Best friends.” She leans forward. “So. You coming or leaving?”
“Leaving. Shipping out tomorrow for England.”
She bats her big, brown eyes, and a part of him melts a little. “You scared?”
He thinks about telling her the truth, but from the way her sweet little tongue is moistening her lips and her eyes keep dropping to his mouth, he figures he might as well not mess up a sure thing. “Naw. They’re the ones that gotta be scared. I’ll show ‘em what’s what.” He leans closer, until their heads are almost touching. “You and your friend got any plans tonight?”
Her cheeks are stained deep red. “No. No, we don’t, Connie, right?”
“I might.” Connie sounds less than happy.
Bucky pulls back. Smiles at her. “I gotta friend. Steve. Best man I know. Maybe the four of us could do something. You know. A last night out before I head overseas.”
She softens. Nods. “Well, we were thinking of going to the World Exposition. Howard Stark’s gonna be there tonight. Me and Bonnie are big fans. Of technology.” Her face was bright red, now.
“World Exposition, huh? I’ve been wanting to go. How about me and Steve meet you there? Say, around six?”
Bonnie’s hand brushes against his. “That’s sounds great.” She pulls back when the waitress comes with their food.
“So,” he says, sitting back. “Where are you two from?”
It ends up being an enjoyable afternoon. They all talk. Bucky decides that Connie is a nice enough girl to set Steve up with, although she’s a bit overinvested in Howard Stark. Bonnie is perfectly charming and will definitely give him some lovely memories to carry overseas with him before the night is over.
Because there’s no way he can spend the night alone with Stevie. Not tonight. Not if this is goodbye.
***
In retrospect, trying to join up again today might not have been a good idea. Her heart rate’s been through the roof since Bucky came back. It feels like she’s all stretched out inside, on the constant edge of panic. It’s hard to breathe, hard to think. All she wants to do is curl into a ball and wait for everything to be okay again.
But, she’s an adult. And adults aren’t allowed to cower in their beds when things get hard. So, she does the next best thing. She takes off work, heads down to the nearest recruitment center she hadn’t tried yet, and lies.
Between her blood pressure being through the roof, her heart stuttering like crazy, and the rasp in her lungs when she breathes, she’s almost not surprised when she’s turned down again. Disappointed, but not surprised.
A fist bigger than her head connects with her jaw. Stevie stumbles back, hitting the wall of the alley. She hears her head crack against it, making her head spin.
“You just don’t know when do give up, do ya?” the bully sneers.
Stevie shakes her head, trying to clear it. “I could do this all day.”
He comes back at her, and, geeze, is he getting bigger? He’s fast. It’s all she can do to get her arms over her head and turn her face away. He’s not pulling his punching, either, and pain blossoms out every time his fists connect.
And it’s almost kind of good. She hurts, but it’s a real hurt. An honest one, not like this soul ache she’s had for so long. Being too sick and too small. Bucky leaving. It’s all too much, but this is familiar. This is real and she can handle this.
“Hey! Why don’t you pick on someone your own size?”
The bully is pulled away and sent running down the alley with a few well-placed moves from Bucky.
Steve sighs. Pushes herself from the wall and wipes blood where its oozing from her nose.
“You know, sometimes I think you like getting punched,” Bucky says. He sounds tired. And not even the tiniest bit surprised. Like he’s been looking in every alleyway in Brooklyn just for her at some slow, leisurely stroll, knowing he’d find her eventually.
“I had him on the ropes,” she assures him. Her ears are ringing.
“How many times is this?”
She looks up and sees he’s holding her rejected enlistment papers. And he’s still in uniform. Every day, after he reports, he’s been going home and changing. Like he doesn’t want anyone to see him in uniform.
Although, holy cow, he looks beautiful in it.
Bucky’s shaking his head, a look of profound disappointment on his face. “Ah, you’re from Paranus now. You know it’s illegal to lie on your enlistment form. Seriously, Jersey?”
“You get your orders?”
He meets her eyes.
Her stomach drops.
“One oh seventh, Sergeant Bucky Barnes, shipping out to England tomorrow morning.”
She wants to cry. Her best friend. Leaving. Without her.
“I should be going.”
Bucky swallows. Looks at her.
She doesn’t know what to say. Her mind has just stopped. Both of them just stand there, looking at each other. Breathing.
Then, Bucky cracks a smile. A shadow of his cocky grin, only it does reach his eyes. He wraps his arm around her neck and pulls her down the alley. “Come on, man. It’s my last night. Gotta get you cleaned up.”
“Why? Where are we going?”
“The future.” He slaps a newspaper against her chest.
She takes it. “The World Exposition of Tomorrow, huh? Didn’t think you were interested.”
“Are you kidding? They got cars of the future, there. Course I’m interested.”
“And that’s your only reason for wanting to go tonight. A sudden need to satisfy your love of cars?”
He grin deepens, actually reaching his eyes, now. She can tell it’s a real smile because a dimple appears in the corner of his mouth. “Well. There may be a couple girls who mentioned being there tonight.”
She rolls her eyes. “Bucky…”
“Oh, come on, Steve. Yours is adorable. All blonde hair and big… eyes. You’ll like her.”
Big eyes. Sometimes, it was maddening to be best friends who never paid attention to important details. Like eye color. Or the way light reflected off the sidewalk at noon.
Or her, quietly dying inside, counting the seconds until Bucky was gone.
But, well, crying over what can’t be changed won’t help anything. That’s what her mom always said, and that’s what Steve tried to live by. If Bucky wanted to spend his last night at the World Exposition with a girl who, for all Steve knew, was the love of his life, then that’s what they’d do.
“Sounds great, Bucky. It’ll be fun.”
He shoots her a look. “Ah, cheer up. We’re gonna see Howard Stark. I’ve heard you talk about how artistic you think his designs are. And the girls are cute, Steve.” He squeezed Steve’s shoulder, then dropped his arm. “I just want to know you’re going to be taken care of while I’m gone.”
She laughs. The laugh startles her almost as much as his words. Her face hurts from the suddenness of her grin.
Bucky stops. Throws his arms out. “What?”
“I am sure that you, out of the goodness of your heart, went out and found two beautiful dames just so you’d be able to go overseas knowing that there was someone in New York looking out for me. I one hundred percent believe that this is an act of altruism.”
“You accusing me of not thinking of my best friend in his time of need?”
She rolls her eyes. “First of all, it’s not my time of need. I’m going to be fine. I’m a big boy. Second, you can’t even remember her name.”
“I do, too! It’s Bonnie.” Bucky frowns. “Or is it Connie. Um… well, one of them is Connie. The other’s Bonnie.” He tilts his head. “I think mine’s Bonnie. You like blondes, right?”
“Yeah, I like blondes. She like short, skinny guys who get can’t get into the Army?”
His face softens. He drops his eyes a moment before looking back up at her. “Well. Who wouldn’t?”
She blushes. Looks away. “About fifty thousand girls in New York. But who’s counting?” She sniffs and touches her nose. “So. I need to clean up. I gotta girl to meet.”
Bucky just looks at her for a long moment. Then he nods. “Yeah. Let’s go.”
Part 6
Fandom: Captain America
Rating: Mature
Pairing: Steve/Bucky, Steve/Peggy
Summary: Steve Rogers is determined to join the Army and go off to war. Bucky is concerned what will happen if she's discovered. rule!63 Steve.
Part 1a
Part 1b
Part 2
Part 3 & 4
Bucky’s never been so aware of time before. Never paid attention to how seconds turn to minutes and into hours and into days until there’s suddenly a deadline looming. He only has a precious number of seconds/hours/days left with Stevie before she’s out of his life, probably forever.
Because he doesn’t really have any illusions about what’s going to happen over there. Not like Stevie does, so convinced that all she needs is to get over there to make things right. Or the guys at boot camp with their talk of heroics and glory. Too many people he knew have gone over and not come back. Why would he be any different?
So he hoards his seconds/hours/days that he has left with her. Stays up half the night, listening to her breathe. Finds excuses to meet her at work during the day and be there when she gets off. He cajoles her to Coney Island and back onto the Cyclone (she pukes again) and into an instant photo booth so he has something recent to take overseas with him. They go to Ebbets Field, even though it’s off season and lounge around, eating hot dogs from street vendors and watching people go by.
And every day, Bucky checks for his orders with his heart in his throat. Breathes a little easier when he’s told to wait.
“Nothing yet?” Stevie asks every day.
“Not yet.”
The shadows in Stevie’s eyes darken. The tension in Bucky’s stomach gets even tighter. The executioner’s sentence looms.
He knows that Stevie’s going to try to join up again. The close call last time isn’t enough to knock some sense into her. And he don’t know how to get it through her thick skull. All he can do is hope that no doctor looks too closely and they continue to stamp their 4F on her enlistment forms.
“Sergeant James Barnes, reporting for orders,” he says for what feels like the zillionth time. You’da thought they knew him on sight by now, except none of them ever seemed to actually look him in the face.
This time’s different, though. The man actually looks up at him. Nods. “Have a seat, Sergeant. They’ll be with you shortly.”
He obeys with a sinking feeling in his stomach. Feels sick, like Stevie on the Cyclone. He sits for seconds/hours/days until he’s called in. Given his order and he wants to laugh. The 107th. Stevie is going to kill him.
People on the street look at him differently when he walks by in uniform. They look at him with respect, like he’s done something. Before, he got a vague mistrust from anyone over age thirty, like he was some hooligan not to be trusted. But, throw on a uniform and it was a whole ‘nother ballgame. He was someone to look up to because they had no idea he was a traitor who’d betrayed his best friend.
Stevie has the day off. Bucky has seconds before he ships off, and he should spend the day with her, but he finds himself wandering the streets. He feels sick and sad. Reckless.
He goes into a diner, because it’s early afternoon and he’s in uniform and shouldn’t be looking for trouble. Instead, he orders a cup of coffee and a burger. Who knows when he’s going to get to eat this good again? Maybe he should get a sundae or something, while he still can. Except, that makes him think of Stevie, because it’s pathetic to eat ice cream on your own when you could be with your best friend. So, a burger and coffee it is.
He hears some giggling from a booth nearby. When he glances over, there are two beautiful girls sitting there, heads together, curls bouncing, as they giggle together. They’re looking at him, and blushes bloom on their cheeks like flowers when he meets their eyes.
He gives them a smile.
The giggles multiply. The brunette bats her eyelashes at him. Waves him over.
Okay, then.
“Afternoon.” Bucky slides into the booth across from the girls. Leans forward, arms on the table.
The brunette grins. “Hi, soldier. What’s your name?”
“Sergeant James Barnes. But you can call me Bucky.”
More giggles.
“And what should I call you?”
“Bonnie. And this Connie.” She tilts her head towards the blond.
Bucky raises his eyebrows. “Bonnie and Connie. That’s real cute. Sisters?”
“Best friends.” She leans forward. “So. You coming or leaving?”
“Leaving. Shipping out tomorrow for England.”
She bats her big, brown eyes, and a part of him melts a little. “You scared?”
He thinks about telling her the truth, but from the way her sweet little tongue is moistening her lips and her eyes keep dropping to his mouth, he figures he might as well not mess up a sure thing. “Naw. They’re the ones that gotta be scared. I’ll show ‘em what’s what.” He leans closer, until their heads are almost touching. “You and your friend got any plans tonight?”
Her cheeks are stained deep red. “No. No, we don’t, Connie, right?”
“I might.” Connie sounds less than happy.
Bucky pulls back. Smiles at her. “I gotta friend. Steve. Best man I know. Maybe the four of us could do something. You know. A last night out before I head overseas.”
She softens. Nods. “Well, we were thinking of going to the World Exposition. Howard Stark’s gonna be there tonight. Me and Bonnie are big fans. Of technology.” Her face was bright red, now.
“World Exposition, huh? I’ve been wanting to go. How about me and Steve meet you there? Say, around six?”
Bonnie’s hand brushes against his. “That’s sounds great.” She pulls back when the waitress comes with their food.
“So,” he says, sitting back. “Where are you two from?”
It ends up being an enjoyable afternoon. They all talk. Bucky decides that Connie is a nice enough girl to set Steve up with, although she’s a bit overinvested in Howard Stark. Bonnie is perfectly charming and will definitely give him some lovely memories to carry overseas with him before the night is over.
Because there’s no way he can spend the night alone with Stevie. Not tonight. Not if this is goodbye.
***
In retrospect, trying to join up again today might not have been a good idea. Her heart rate’s been through the roof since Bucky came back. It feels like she’s all stretched out inside, on the constant edge of panic. It’s hard to breathe, hard to think. All she wants to do is curl into a ball and wait for everything to be okay again.
But, she’s an adult. And adults aren’t allowed to cower in their beds when things get hard. So, she does the next best thing. She takes off work, heads down to the nearest recruitment center she hadn’t tried yet, and lies.
Between her blood pressure being through the roof, her heart stuttering like crazy, and the rasp in her lungs when she breathes, she’s almost not surprised when she’s turned down again. Disappointed, but not surprised.
A fist bigger than her head connects with her jaw. Stevie stumbles back, hitting the wall of the alley. She hears her head crack against it, making her head spin.
“You just don’t know when do give up, do ya?” the bully sneers.
Stevie shakes her head, trying to clear it. “I could do this all day.”
He comes back at her, and, geeze, is he getting bigger? He’s fast. It’s all she can do to get her arms over her head and turn her face away. He’s not pulling his punching, either, and pain blossoms out every time his fists connect.
And it’s almost kind of good. She hurts, but it’s a real hurt. An honest one, not like this soul ache she’s had for so long. Being too sick and too small. Bucky leaving. It’s all too much, but this is familiar. This is real and she can handle this.
“Hey! Why don’t you pick on someone your own size?”
The bully is pulled away and sent running down the alley with a few well-placed moves from Bucky.
Steve sighs. Pushes herself from the wall and wipes blood where its oozing from her nose.
“You know, sometimes I think you like getting punched,” Bucky says. He sounds tired. And not even the tiniest bit surprised. Like he’s been looking in every alleyway in Brooklyn just for her at some slow, leisurely stroll, knowing he’d find her eventually.
“I had him on the ropes,” she assures him. Her ears are ringing.
“How many times is this?”
She looks up and sees he’s holding her rejected enlistment papers. And he’s still in uniform. Every day, after he reports, he’s been going home and changing. Like he doesn’t want anyone to see him in uniform.
Although, holy cow, he looks beautiful in it.
Bucky’s shaking his head, a look of profound disappointment on his face. “Ah, you’re from Paranus now. You know it’s illegal to lie on your enlistment form. Seriously, Jersey?”
“You get your orders?”
He meets her eyes.
Her stomach drops.
“One oh seventh, Sergeant Bucky Barnes, shipping out to England tomorrow morning.”
She wants to cry. Her best friend. Leaving. Without her.
“I should be going.”
Bucky swallows. Looks at her.
She doesn’t know what to say. Her mind has just stopped. Both of them just stand there, looking at each other. Breathing.
Then, Bucky cracks a smile. A shadow of his cocky grin, only it does reach his eyes. He wraps his arm around her neck and pulls her down the alley. “Come on, man. It’s my last night. Gotta get you cleaned up.”
“Why? Where are we going?”
“The future.” He slaps a newspaper against her chest.
She takes it. “The World Exposition of Tomorrow, huh? Didn’t think you were interested.”
“Are you kidding? They got cars of the future, there. Course I’m interested.”
“And that’s your only reason for wanting to go tonight. A sudden need to satisfy your love of cars?”
He grin deepens, actually reaching his eyes, now. She can tell it’s a real smile because a dimple appears in the corner of his mouth. “Well. There may be a couple girls who mentioned being there tonight.”
She rolls her eyes. “Bucky…”
“Oh, come on, Steve. Yours is adorable. All blonde hair and big… eyes. You’ll like her.”
Big eyes. Sometimes, it was maddening to be best friends who never paid attention to important details. Like eye color. Or the way light reflected off the sidewalk at noon.
Or her, quietly dying inside, counting the seconds until Bucky was gone.
But, well, crying over what can’t be changed won’t help anything. That’s what her mom always said, and that’s what Steve tried to live by. If Bucky wanted to spend his last night at the World Exposition with a girl who, for all Steve knew, was the love of his life, then that’s what they’d do.
“Sounds great, Bucky. It’ll be fun.”
He shoots her a look. “Ah, cheer up. We’re gonna see Howard Stark. I’ve heard you talk about how artistic you think his designs are. And the girls are cute, Steve.” He squeezed Steve’s shoulder, then dropped his arm. “I just want to know you’re going to be taken care of while I’m gone.”
She laughs. The laugh startles her almost as much as his words. Her face hurts from the suddenness of her grin.
Bucky stops. Throws his arms out. “What?”
“I am sure that you, out of the goodness of your heart, went out and found two beautiful dames just so you’d be able to go overseas knowing that there was someone in New York looking out for me. I one hundred percent believe that this is an act of altruism.”
“You accusing me of not thinking of my best friend in his time of need?”
She rolls her eyes. “First of all, it’s not my time of need. I’m going to be fine. I’m a big boy. Second, you can’t even remember her name.”
“I do, too! It’s Bonnie.” Bucky frowns. “Or is it Connie. Um… well, one of them is Connie. The other’s Bonnie.” He tilts his head. “I think mine’s Bonnie. You like blondes, right?”
“Yeah, I like blondes. She like short, skinny guys who get can’t get into the Army?”
His face softens. He drops his eyes a moment before looking back up at her. “Well. Who wouldn’t?”
She blushes. Looks away. “About fifty thousand girls in New York. But who’s counting?” She sniffs and touches her nose. “So. I need to clean up. I gotta girl to meet.”
Bucky just looks at her for a long moment. Then he nods. “Yeah. Let’s go.”
Part 6
