serafina20 | Thor

This is the movie Thor as told by me, who really doesn't care about Thor.

Okay, so there’s this war between the Good Guys and the Blue Guys, and the good guys win and make the Blue Guys stay on their planet. Then Anthony Hopkins ™ shows his sons a hammer and tells them one day, one of them will be king. Only, he means Thor will. So then Loki’s all, “Dude, whatever, I wasn’t even in the running,” and looks all pretty while his brother gets hammered. Then the Blue Guys show up and some guards are killed and Loki’s all, “Oh no!” while Thor’s all “ROAR!” Thor decides to go kill the Blue Guys with his Best Buddies. Loki goes with him because he loves his brother.

While on the Blue Guy’s stupid cold planet, one of the friends is all, “Don’t let them touch you!” but before he’s finished, Loki gets touched. But it doesn’t hurt him, so he’s all emo wondering, “Why didn’t I get hurt? Why am I different? What’s wrong with me?” Then Anthony Hopkins ™ is all, “ROAR! THOR, YOU NO KING NOW!” and makes Thor goes away while Loki is all, “oh no don’t you’ll regret it.” Then, he touches the ICE BOX and turns blue and says “WHY AM I DIFFERENT FATHER AM I CURSED.” And Anthony Hopkins ™ is like, “OH NOES, YOU ARE MY SON AND I LOVE YOU but I totally stole you as a baby so surprise!!!” Then he falls asleep.

Meanwhile, Loki breaks out his cool hat and sits on his throne, but Thor’s friends are all like, “Why is you king?” And he says , “Because I’m totally king, that’s why.” And they’re like, “Naw, we don’t likes this.” Then, Loki decides to make his daddy love him better, so he dresses up all sexy in a suit and says to Thor, “Hey, Anthony Hopkins ™ is dead and mom loves me better.” He tries to pick up the hammer, but the hammer says, “LOL, no.”

Then he goes to the Blue Guy’s stupid cold planet and is all, “Hey, come kill Anthony Hopkins ™.” Only, when he comes to kill him, Loki’s all “NOT! I AM HIS SON AND YOU SUCK! DID YOU SEE THAT DADDY? I TOTALLY SAVE YOU!”

Then Thor comes back to Asgard and says, “OMG, what’s going on?” Loki says, “I ONLY WANT TO BE LOVED!” Thor says, “I LOVE YOU!” But something with the Rainbow Bridge (that’s totally what it’s called) and it breaks and then Thor puts his hammer on Loki and then picks it up and breaks the rainbow (SKITTLES! ) and Loki falls and is all “SEE MY MAN-PAIN!” Thor goes “I LOVE YOU!” Anthony Hopkins ™ says, “I LOVE YOU!” But Loki goes, “PAIN! PAIN!!” and falls off the rainbow and lands on Earth to be evil!cool.

And that is Thor..