Wow

[serafina20]

A fantastic post about rape. Possibly triggering, of course.

The whole thing is fantastic. I came across it by a link from enderwiggin24 who posted what pinged for her. So, in the spirit of copying

Here’s a situation every woman is familiar with: some guy she knows, perhaps a casual acquaintance, perhaps just some dude at the bus stop, is obviously infatuated with her. He’s making conversation, he’s giving her the eye. She doesn’t like him. She doesn’t want to talk to him. She doesn’t want him near her. He is freaking her out. She could disobey the rules, and tell him to GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER, and continue screaming GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME every time he tries to step closer, or speak to her again. And then he will be all, “I was just talking to you! WTF!” and everybody else will be all, “Yeah, seriously, why’d you freak out at a guy just talking to you?” and refuse to offer the support she needs to be safe from dude. Or, the guy might become hostile, violent even. Ladies, you’ve seen that look, the “bitch can’t ignore me” look. It’s a source of constant confusion, as soon as you start budding breasts, that the man who just a moment ago told you how pretty you are is now calling you a stupid ugly whore, all because you didn’t get in his car.

OR

You could follow the rules. You could flirt back a little, look meek, not talk, not move away. You might have to put up with a lot more talking, you might have to put up with him trying to ask you out to lunch every day, you might even have to go out to lunch with him. You might have to deal with him copping a feel. But he won’t turn violent on you, and neither will the spectators who have watched him browbeat you into a frightened and flirtatious corner.

Last year, I attended a Young Democrats bar-be-que. At it, was a man who was clearly interested in me. He kept getting closer, talking about how attractive I was, etc. And I was so uncomfortable and trying to throw all those stupid "cues" at him to make him back the fuck off, instead of just telling me to back the fuck off.

And then he asked me out. When I said "no", he kept fucking asking.. At least until
his mother showed up to take him to work (this man was in his forties, so, yeah. Between living at home with mom and dad and being a part-time waiter with no car... a total catch). It really ruined the weekend for me.

And I hate that I never know how to deal with those situations. I really thought it was just me, but reading this... makes me feel even worse. To think that it's a taught skill, pisses me off.

Comments

[astro599.livejournal.com]

I know how you feel. I once went out with this crazy guy (and I knew he was crazy before I went out with him) because he kept asking every time I saw him. I swear I said no like twenty times, but he wouldn't leave me alone. And then he got mad and said I wouldn't go out with him because he's fat. And I was like, yeah, cause I'm a barbie over here (not).

Then he got surprised when I refused to go out with him after he stood me up. But he got fired shortly after than and I never saw him again, thank God.

But yeah, it pisses me off cause you're a bitch if you tell him to fuck off, but then you're a stupid bitch if you don't tell him to fuck off and end up hurt.

[deadbeat-nymph.livejournal.com]

I just wanted to thank you for posting this. There are plenty of reasons for my gratitude, but I especially appreciate you pointing us in the direction of this blog. It's fantastic. Thank you.