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serafina20Fic: Sona
Rating: Mature
Pairing: Michael/Mahone
Summary: Tony and Michael dig and talk. Then Michael and Alex... talk.
Notes: Look at me writing. :)
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 25, Part 26, Part 27, Part 28, Part 29, Part 30, Part 31, Part 32, Part 33
"Panama," Michael muttered under his breath as he chipped at the hard packed dirt with the short handled shovel he'd found. Clods flew out at him, sticking to his sweat slicked forehead and crumbling down his neck and shirt. "Why did I have to choose Panama? Oh, sure, it looked good on paper. Lots of sunshine. The beach. Good food." He hacked at the wall of dirt again. Spit out the dirt that flew into his mouth. "Forgot to mention it was hell on earth. Stupid heat."
"Should have read the guide book more closer," Tony said from outside the tunnel they'd managed in the few hours of work. "Your fault."
"Yeah," Michael sighed. He lowered the shovel and wiped his forehead. "My fault." He lowered his head and coughed. Every muscle in his back ached and his arms were trembling. He was hot and it hurt to breathe and all he wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep forever.
Except he couldn't. His bed was a mattress on the floor. He was surrounded by hundreds of dangerous men who would kill him or rape him if he let his guard down.
Plus, he'd had sex with a sixteen year old kid, then, soon after, made out with him in the shower, only to call out the name of his other lover. He didn't deserve sleep.
He coughed again. Wiped his mouth, then backed out of the hole. Tunnel, really. When they'd come down tonight, and Michael had examined the wall again, he'd realized something. The room they were in wasn't the last room in the prison, not above ground. They had two more cell lengths before they hit no man's land. Which meant that there was support above them. All they needed to do was dig from the ceiling down to a point they could hoist themselves up and they'd be fine. The walls were hard packed enough to form a tunnel around them, and the ceiling wouldn't cave in as long as they didn't disturb the supports that had to be buried in the dirt somewhere.
Once they hit no man's land, they'd need bracing, but until then, they were fine. They just needed to dig.
They'd snuck out around midnight. Michael still insisted that someone keep watch over the jungle, just in case. Since it was mind numbingly boring work, they took half hour shifts. Well, he and Alex did. When it'd been Tony's turn to stand watch, the boy had given them both a pout and an honest-to-God teenage whine.
Michael was only too willing to give Tony whatever he wanted, so he'd been stuck at the window for a little over an hour, watching. Throwing bits of food out to lure rats into the open and seeing what happened.
Nothing ever did.
His feet touched the floor. Every muscle screamed in protest as he straightened, and he bit back a groan, rubbing his back. "I think that maybe that's enough for tonight. What do you think?"
Tony yawned and nodded. "Yeah, okay. We get the dirt out?"
"Sure."
Together, they scrapped the dirt out of the tunnel and onto a sheet they'd found in another cell. Once it was loaded, they dragged that into the cell next door and tossed it onto the growing pile.
"How long does this take?" Tony asked, scratching dirt out of his hair. Clumps fell out, sprinkling over his shoulders and raining to the floor.
"The digging? I have no idea. I think that maybe tomorrow all three of us can dig."
Tony's face lit up. "No looking out window?"
"Why should you care? You got to avoid that part of the rotation."
He shrugged. "It make Alex cranky. You, too." He scratched his head again. "I go take shower. Meet you later."
"Wait." He reached out and put his hand on Tony's shoulder. Then, with a wince, he snatched it back. Tugged on his fingers. "We haven't… talked. About what happened." He'd been trying to find ways to bring it up all night, but there never seemed to be an opportune moment. Tony had been acting as if nothing had happened since he'd come back from playing with his friends. And Michael had been too busy beating himself up over it back on the other side that it wasn't until they were working that he felt ready to apologize.
And yet, consistently failed to work up the nerve.
Tony sighed. Rubbed his forehead. "Is okay, Michael."
"No, it's not." He looked down, unable to look at the boy anymore. "I never should have… And I didn't realize… I never wanted…." He squeezed his eyes shut. "I am so sorry, Tony."
"It's okay," he said, switching to Spanish. "You didn't do anything wrong."
"Yes, I did. I never should have had sex with you. You're too young. I took advantage of you, used you, hurt you. I'm no better…" He stopped when Tony stepped closer to him and kissed him.
"Michael, you were upset. I climbed on you. Rubbed. Made you come. You said no before, but I wanted you so badly. Because I don't know how to look at you."
"Tony…"
Tony covered Michael's mouth with his hand. "Everyone here wants something from me. Wants something from everyone. I'm small and young and easy. I trade myself for things, so I have a reputation. People who are nice to me are nice because they want what I'll give them. Except you. You're just nice to me. For no reason. And you're so handsome. I don't know what… what to do. What you want from me."
He pulled Tony's hand away. "I don't want anything, Tony. I just want you… to be safe. And… I don't know. Feel safe and cared for and just… be a kid. As much as you can be."
Tony nodded. "Yes. I know. Now. But it's been a long time since anyone just wanted… wanted something good for me. For no reason but it's good for me. So, even though you said you didn't want sex, I didn't believe you. I though you must really want me, you were just… waiting."
"Tony, you're a beautiful young man. But you're a kid, and… and even though I'm attracted to you, kind of…"
"You love Alex." Tony shrug. "You want him. Not me. And it's good. It's fine. So, I… I'm not mad at you. I just need to learn how to act around you now."
Michael nodded, stomach twisting at the mention of Alex's name. He ignored it, set it aside for now, and reached out to run his thumb down Tony's dirty face. "I'm not going to stop taking care of you. Or giving you affection, because you need it. Deserve it. But I just mean it as… as a friend. A brother."
"A father?"
"If that's what you want."
Tony bit his lip, thinking.
"Are we going to be okay?" Michael asked, lump in his throat.
He got a beatific smile in return. "Yes, Michael. We're okay." He stood on his toes and kissed Michael's cheek. "I go shower," he said in English. "You go to Alex."
"You're going to shower."
"I going to shower," he corrected himself, rolling his eyes.
Michael pressed a kiss to Tony's temple. "If I find so much as one clump of dirt or bug in your hair, we're shaving your head tomorrow."
"Si, Mama." Tony grinned at him, then turned around and scampered away.
Michael smiled, watching him go. Tony was a smart kid. Not just smart, but perceptive. And introspective, which wasn't something that one would expect to find from a kid in this hell hole of a prison. And, yet, here he was.
Tony didn't just know about the ins and outs of Sona. He knew the ins and outs of himself. That was a rare quality to find anywhere. And the fact that he knew why he'd gone after Michael, even when Michael had tried to dissuade him, was interesting.
And thought provoking.
He coughed and turned, rubbing at his eyes as he started walking to where Alex stood watch. His eyes felt gritty from the dirt and from being so tired. And now his head was spinning.
Damn stupid kid.
Up on his level, Alex was standing next to the window. He wasn't looking out of it anymore, not that Michael blamed him. At this point, it hardly mattered. Instead, Alex was leaning against the wall, one foot propped against it, smoking one of the cigarettes that Tony had won in a game of marbles that afternoon.
In his other life, Michael had always been firmly anti-cigarette. Part of it stemmed from a foster sibling who'd snuck cigarettes and burned Michael with them any time Michael breathed too loudly. Another part was the foster mother who'd had to give Michael up once she'd been diagnoses with lung cancer and felt she was too sick to care of Michael properly, no matter how much he'd begged to stay. Lincoln had smoked for awhile, too, after getting custody of Michael, and there were a couple times where Linc's cigarettes won out over food. Plus, Michael just didn't like them.
But that was in his other life. In this life, Alex had managed to turn cigarettes into something erotic and appealing. Just like everything else.
"We done for the night?" Alex said in lieu of greeting.
"Yeah. Was there anything?"
Alex shook his head. Took another drag on his cigarette. "I guess they're fairly confident that no one can get over here. And, even if someone did, there's no way out." He tapped some ash onto the ground. "How's progress on the tunnel?"
"Good. I figure tomorrow all three of us can work on it. Get more done." He settled next to Alex, leaving a small space between them. He could feel the heat radiating from Alex's body, smell the spicy tang of his sweat. It made his stomach tighten and heart pound.
"Do you really think this is going to work? I mean, really?"
Michael sighed. "I don't know. But it's the best I can think of right now. So."
"So." He took a final drag on his cigarette before dropping it to the floor and grinding it with his heel. "Where's the kid?"
"Shower." He tugged on the index finger of his right hand. "He's a smart kid."
"Yes. He is."
"We talked. He said some things that made me think." He began tapping his fingers against the wall. "About why he came after me, even after I turned him down."
"Being beautiful isn't enough of a reason?"
Michael felt his cheeks heat. He looked down and drummed his fingers against his thigh. "He said that he didn't know how to respond to me. How deal with someone who's nice to him, who's affectionate to him without demanding anything of him. He mistook me being kind to him for… interest."
Alex sighed. "Michael…"
"This isn't about you."
Silence. Alex shifted, his clothes rustling against the wall. "Sara?"
Michael nodded. Gazed steadfastly at the floor. "I hadn't been with anyone since Lincoln was arrested. And… and I hadn't been with anyone for almost two years before that. Just this one guy who'd contracted with the company. And that was just because he wouldn't leave me alone, kept coming by my office to see how the project was going. Pretending to see how it was going. He just wouldn’t leave me alone, and it was driving me crazy."
"So you fucked him."
"Yeah. A few times before he finally cooled. He was actually kind of sweet when he broke up with me. Anyway." He tugged at his lower lip with his teeth . "Anyway, then I ran into Veronica, and she was so familiar and pretty and caring. And I needed that. We almost… but then Lincoln called."
"And then Sara."
He nodded. "What if… what if I'm not in love with her? If I never was? She was kind to me. We have a lot in common, and even if I hadn't been trying to… to butter her up, we probably would have clicked. But what if it was never that I wanted her, but that I was so… starved that I just… let myself believe…"
"Michael. You're thirty, Tony's sixteen. You're attracted to her. Genuinely. And she is to you. It's not the same situation."
"How do you know? I mean, how can you be sure? Because I'm sure that Tony is sure that he feels something for me. That his feelings are real."
"But you never felt the same way back. What happened in the sewers was a fluke. You were upset and overwhelmed. You weren't in control."
"I shouldn't…"
Alex's hand closed around Michael's wrist. "You do what I say. It was my decision, and I knew better than you what you needed." He squeezed, then let Michael go. "That being said, you care for Tony. A lot. But your feelings aren't amorous. Sara's, toward you, were. You didn't misinterpret."
"Yeah, but… It was so much harder than I expected. Prison. It was so cold. Bellick hated me on sight. I couldn't sleep the first few night because my mind was working so hard. T-Bag. The riots." He licked his lips. "And there, every day, was Sara. This… this sea of beauty and calm in all that. What if I just wanted to feel something so I could get away from all the darkness?"
"You're exhausting," Alex sighed.
"I know." He felt his shoulders tightened. He wrapped his arms around his stomach. "I know, but my feelings for her have changed, and I can't stop thinking…."
And then, Alex was in front of him. Pressed against him, forehead resting against Michael's. Hands on either side of Michael's face. "Here's my theory, Michael. It might be a little out there, but bear with me. Maybe, just maybe, you only knew Sara for a short time. And in that short time, you were attracted to her, enjoyed flirting with her, and enjoyed her flirting back. You felt something for her. But, when all is said and done, you've only known her for a short time, and in that time, you were planning a breakout. Your mind was always elsewhere, never fully committed. And now that you're here, and again, your mind is elsewhere. So, you find that the fragile bond you created with her at Fox River and while you were running just isn't enough to survive." He ran his thumb down Michael's jaw. Traced his lips. "Maybe she was right. Maybe right now, you need to concentrate on survival. And, maybe when we get out…"
"Don't." He grasped Alex's shirt. Kissed him, feeling desperate. Lost.
"You're not worried about this?" Alex asked. "Us?" He slid one hand down Michael's cheek. His chest. Rested his hand on Michael's hip and massaged. "I show you a little bit of affection, and you fall in love."
"Why do you insist that I'm in love with you?" Michael asked. His hands were underneath Alex's shirt and he couldn't stop rubbing up and over his chest. "I never said I was. You're the one who first brought it up. And you're the one who ran away from… from this. If you didn't feel something for me…"
"I'm not in love with you."
"And I'm not in love with you." The words tasted sort of flat on his mouth. Rang with the same hollow tinge as Alex's had.
Alex's lips twitched. "So. That's settled then." His hand trailed down Michael's stomach. Tugged at his fly, button and zipper coming undone.
Michael leaned his head back, baring his neck. He rolled his hips into Alex's hand, wiggling slightly as Alex pulled down his underwear, freeing Michael's cock. "It's settled. Neither of us is in love with the other."
"No." He put his hands on Michael's shoulders. Pushed gently.
He went down willingly. Knelt on the hard, grimy floor with his pants sliding down his hips and cock hanging out. Looked up at Alex through his eyelashes as he leaned forward. Delicately took the button of Alex's fly in his teeth and undid it.
Alex groaned. His fingers threaded through Michael's hair as Michael used his teeth on the zipper as well. He leaned in and pressed his face against Alex's crotch, rubbed against the hard bulge underneath. Normally, he'd continue by wetting the cloth and tormenting Alex by teasing him through his underwear, but hygiene was sort of an issue here. So, he slipped his fingers underneath the waistband of Alex's underwear and tugged it and his jeans down.
Michael sat back on his ankles. Wrapped his fingers around Alex and lifted, gazing at the understand. At the vein that throbbed underneath. Slid them down and caressed at his ball sack, feeling, probing, manipulating and studying.
"Jesus Christ, Michael. You planning on doing anything?"
Michael looked up at Alex with a wicked grin. "Patience."
Alex growled at him. Tugged at his head.
Michael allowed himself to be manipulated. Opened his mouth, relaxed his throat. When he'd been in junior high school, he'd spent months learning how to swallow bananas down whole for no other reason than to see if he could do it. His last year in high school, he'd discovered this talent had other applications as well. And there was nothing like the look on a man's face when you deep throated him not only with complete ease, but when he wasn't expecting it.
Alex was no different. When Michael swallowed him to the root, nose buried in his pubic hair, his mouth fell open. Then, his eyes squeezed and he fell forward, bracing himself on the wall as Michael swallowed. Sucked and pushed his tongue at the underside of Alex's cock. He twitched and bucked, trying to thrust, but Michael held him back, one hand on Alex's hip.
He loved this. Forgotten what it was like to hold control over another man like this. To feel him pulsing in his mouth, taste his essence on his tongue. To feel filled up and stuffed and... and whole.
Finally, he pulled back, saliva and precome coating his lips. He gasped for air, his hand working at Alex's cock. Stroking, tugging. Then he leaned back in and took him in again, sucking part way. Hard, cheeks hollowing, throat working. His hand twisted around the part his mouth didn't take in. When he pulled back, he laved at the head, twirling his tongue around the ridge before tonguing at the sensitive hole.
"Michael," Alex gritted. He dropped on hand to Michael's head. Pushed him. When Michael took him in again, he held Michael's head in place. Thrust his hips.
Michael groaned, eyes rolling back. He opened his mouth wider and gripped Alex's hips, a jolt of heat going through him.
Taking the cue, Alex put both his hands on either side of Michael's head. Gripped tightly, almost painfully. Thrust, hard and fast, fucking Michael's mouth. The head of his cock hit the back of Michael's mouth, stroking his soft palate. Thrust, pushing Michael back, almost snapping his head. Moved with no regard to Michael's comfort, to his feelings. Just fucked him, used him and Michael…
Michael's blood pulsed and cock throbbed. His skin tingled. His hips jerked and twisted of their own accord, his own cock painfully hard. He removed one hand from Alex's hips and immediately had to grab back on when the force of Alex's thrust pushed him back. But he just held tighter with one hand and lowered the other to his dick. Took hold and stroked, fast and brutal, in time with Alex.
Alex was grunting as he worked. Hands tight in Michael's hair. Breath coming faster and faster. Michael could feel Alex getting closer to his climax, hear that wheeze in the back of his throat, the tension in his body. He worked harder on his cock, wanting to get there together, reach that moment with Alex, feel that connection and…
"Shit," Alex swore. He pulled out of Michael's mouth. Fell against the wall, one hand against it, the other around his cock as he came, warm bursts of semen hitting Michael's face. He closed his eyes, feeling the sticky strands coating his eyelashes. Tasted it on his lips and, with that, he was coming, trembling, losing himself. The world spun around him and he was falling forward.
And Alex was there, catching him, kissing him. Tasting himself on Michael's mouth, on his lips. Tasting and biting and kissing and claiming and Michael… clung and hung on while the world continued to spin.
Sometime later, Michael find himself in Alex's arms. They were propped against the wall, both their pants done up and adjusted. Alex was breathing evenly into Michael's hair, relaxed but not asleep.
Michael yawned. "What… I…"
"You fell asleep," Alex said, voice rough, as if he hadn't spoken in awhile.
"How long?"
"Not long. Maybe fifteen minutes." He kissed the top of Michael's head. "Tony took some of the clothes to wash. We should go soon, though."
"Yeah." He didn't move. Neither did Alex.
Alex sighed. Rubbed Michael's arm. "The thing is," he said after a few moments. "The thing is, there were never many choices for us in the first place. We were either going to end up killing each other or… or end up like this." He kissed the top of Michael's head. "Maybe that's why you aren't worried about anything that may or may not be cropping up here. I mean. Not that, well." He shrugged. "But."
"I know you better than I've known anyone," Michael said. "Better than Sara. " He looked up at Alex, meeting his eyes. "It's not confusing whatever this is for whatever it's not. It's knowing exactly what it is without understanding it."
Alex's mouth crooked into a smile. "Yeah," he said. "Exactly."
Rating: Mature
Pairing: Michael/Mahone
Summary: Tony and Michael dig and talk. Then Michael and Alex... talk.
Notes: Look at me writing. :)
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 25, Part 26, Part 27, Part 28, Part 29, Part 30, Part 31, Part 32, Part 33
"Panama," Michael muttered under his breath as he chipped at the hard packed dirt with the short handled shovel he'd found. Clods flew out at him, sticking to his sweat slicked forehead and crumbling down his neck and shirt. "Why did I have to choose Panama? Oh, sure, it looked good on paper. Lots of sunshine. The beach. Good food." He hacked at the wall of dirt again. Spit out the dirt that flew into his mouth. "Forgot to mention it was hell on earth. Stupid heat."
"Should have read the guide book more closer," Tony said from outside the tunnel they'd managed in the few hours of work. "Your fault."
"Yeah," Michael sighed. He lowered the shovel and wiped his forehead. "My fault." He lowered his head and coughed. Every muscle in his back ached and his arms were trembling. He was hot and it hurt to breathe and all he wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep forever.
Except he couldn't. His bed was a mattress on the floor. He was surrounded by hundreds of dangerous men who would kill him or rape him if he let his guard down.
Plus, he'd had sex with a sixteen year old kid, then, soon after, made out with him in the shower, only to call out the name of his other lover. He didn't deserve sleep.
He coughed again. Wiped his mouth, then backed out of the hole. Tunnel, really. When they'd come down tonight, and Michael had examined the wall again, he'd realized something. The room they were in wasn't the last room in the prison, not above ground. They had two more cell lengths before they hit no man's land. Which meant that there was support above them. All they needed to do was dig from the ceiling down to a point they could hoist themselves up and they'd be fine. The walls were hard packed enough to form a tunnel around them, and the ceiling wouldn't cave in as long as they didn't disturb the supports that had to be buried in the dirt somewhere.
Once they hit no man's land, they'd need bracing, but until then, they were fine. They just needed to dig.
They'd snuck out around midnight. Michael still insisted that someone keep watch over the jungle, just in case. Since it was mind numbingly boring work, they took half hour shifts. Well, he and Alex did. When it'd been Tony's turn to stand watch, the boy had given them both a pout and an honest-to-God teenage whine.
Michael was only too willing to give Tony whatever he wanted, so he'd been stuck at the window for a little over an hour, watching. Throwing bits of food out to lure rats into the open and seeing what happened.
Nothing ever did.
His feet touched the floor. Every muscle screamed in protest as he straightened, and he bit back a groan, rubbing his back. "I think that maybe that's enough for tonight. What do you think?"
Tony yawned and nodded. "Yeah, okay. We get the dirt out?"
"Sure."
Together, they scrapped the dirt out of the tunnel and onto a sheet they'd found in another cell. Once it was loaded, they dragged that into the cell next door and tossed it onto the growing pile.
"How long does this take?" Tony asked, scratching dirt out of his hair. Clumps fell out, sprinkling over his shoulders and raining to the floor.
"The digging? I have no idea. I think that maybe tomorrow all three of us can dig."
Tony's face lit up. "No looking out window?"
"Why should you care? You got to avoid that part of the rotation."
He shrugged. "It make Alex cranky. You, too." He scratched his head again. "I go take shower. Meet you later."
"Wait." He reached out and put his hand on Tony's shoulder. Then, with a wince, he snatched it back. Tugged on his fingers. "We haven't… talked. About what happened." He'd been trying to find ways to bring it up all night, but there never seemed to be an opportune moment. Tony had been acting as if nothing had happened since he'd come back from playing with his friends. And Michael had been too busy beating himself up over it back on the other side that it wasn't until they were working that he felt ready to apologize.
And yet, consistently failed to work up the nerve.
Tony sighed. Rubbed his forehead. "Is okay, Michael."
"No, it's not." He looked down, unable to look at the boy anymore. "I never should have… And I didn't realize… I never wanted…." He squeezed his eyes shut. "I am so sorry, Tony."
"It's okay," he said, switching to Spanish. "You didn't do anything wrong."
"Yes, I did. I never should have had sex with you. You're too young. I took advantage of you, used you, hurt you. I'm no better…" He stopped when Tony stepped closer to him and kissed him.
"Michael, you were upset. I climbed on you. Rubbed. Made you come. You said no before, but I wanted you so badly. Because I don't know how to look at you."
"Tony…"
Tony covered Michael's mouth with his hand. "Everyone here wants something from me. Wants something from everyone. I'm small and young and easy. I trade myself for things, so I have a reputation. People who are nice to me are nice because they want what I'll give them. Except you. You're just nice to me. For no reason. And you're so handsome. I don't know what… what to do. What you want from me."
He pulled Tony's hand away. "I don't want anything, Tony. I just want you… to be safe. And… I don't know. Feel safe and cared for and just… be a kid. As much as you can be."
Tony nodded. "Yes. I know. Now. But it's been a long time since anyone just wanted… wanted something good for me. For no reason but it's good for me. So, even though you said you didn't want sex, I didn't believe you. I though you must really want me, you were just… waiting."
"Tony, you're a beautiful young man. But you're a kid, and… and even though I'm attracted to you, kind of…"
"You love Alex." Tony shrug. "You want him. Not me. And it's good. It's fine. So, I… I'm not mad at you. I just need to learn how to act around you now."
Michael nodded, stomach twisting at the mention of Alex's name. He ignored it, set it aside for now, and reached out to run his thumb down Tony's dirty face. "I'm not going to stop taking care of you. Or giving you affection, because you need it. Deserve it. But I just mean it as… as a friend. A brother."
"A father?"
"If that's what you want."
Tony bit his lip, thinking.
"Are we going to be okay?" Michael asked, lump in his throat.
He got a beatific smile in return. "Yes, Michael. We're okay." He stood on his toes and kissed Michael's cheek. "I go shower," he said in English. "You go to Alex."
"You're going to shower."
"I going to shower," he corrected himself, rolling his eyes.
Michael pressed a kiss to Tony's temple. "If I find so much as one clump of dirt or bug in your hair, we're shaving your head tomorrow."
"Si, Mama." Tony grinned at him, then turned around and scampered away.
Michael smiled, watching him go. Tony was a smart kid. Not just smart, but perceptive. And introspective, which wasn't something that one would expect to find from a kid in this hell hole of a prison. And, yet, here he was.
Tony didn't just know about the ins and outs of Sona. He knew the ins and outs of himself. That was a rare quality to find anywhere. And the fact that he knew why he'd gone after Michael, even when Michael had tried to dissuade him, was interesting.
And thought provoking.
He coughed and turned, rubbing at his eyes as he started walking to where Alex stood watch. His eyes felt gritty from the dirt and from being so tired. And now his head was spinning.
Damn stupid kid.
Up on his level, Alex was standing next to the window. He wasn't looking out of it anymore, not that Michael blamed him. At this point, it hardly mattered. Instead, Alex was leaning against the wall, one foot propped against it, smoking one of the cigarettes that Tony had won in a game of marbles that afternoon.
In his other life, Michael had always been firmly anti-cigarette. Part of it stemmed from a foster sibling who'd snuck cigarettes and burned Michael with them any time Michael breathed too loudly. Another part was the foster mother who'd had to give Michael up once she'd been diagnoses with lung cancer and felt she was too sick to care of Michael properly, no matter how much he'd begged to stay. Lincoln had smoked for awhile, too, after getting custody of Michael, and there were a couple times where Linc's cigarettes won out over food. Plus, Michael just didn't like them.
But that was in his other life. In this life, Alex had managed to turn cigarettes into something erotic and appealing. Just like everything else.
"We done for the night?" Alex said in lieu of greeting.
"Yeah. Was there anything?"
Alex shook his head. Took another drag on his cigarette. "I guess they're fairly confident that no one can get over here. And, even if someone did, there's no way out." He tapped some ash onto the ground. "How's progress on the tunnel?"
"Good. I figure tomorrow all three of us can work on it. Get more done." He settled next to Alex, leaving a small space between them. He could feel the heat radiating from Alex's body, smell the spicy tang of his sweat. It made his stomach tighten and heart pound.
"Do you really think this is going to work? I mean, really?"
Michael sighed. "I don't know. But it's the best I can think of right now. So."
"So." He took a final drag on his cigarette before dropping it to the floor and grinding it with his heel. "Where's the kid?"
"Shower." He tugged on the index finger of his right hand. "He's a smart kid."
"Yes. He is."
"We talked. He said some things that made me think." He began tapping his fingers against the wall. "About why he came after me, even after I turned him down."
"Being beautiful isn't enough of a reason?"
Michael felt his cheeks heat. He looked down and drummed his fingers against his thigh. "He said that he didn't know how to respond to me. How deal with someone who's nice to him, who's affectionate to him without demanding anything of him. He mistook me being kind to him for… interest."
Alex sighed. "Michael…"
"This isn't about you."
Silence. Alex shifted, his clothes rustling against the wall. "Sara?"
Michael nodded. Gazed steadfastly at the floor. "I hadn't been with anyone since Lincoln was arrested. And… and I hadn't been with anyone for almost two years before that. Just this one guy who'd contracted with the company. And that was just because he wouldn't leave me alone, kept coming by my office to see how the project was going. Pretending to see how it was going. He just wouldn’t leave me alone, and it was driving me crazy."
"So you fucked him."
"Yeah. A few times before he finally cooled. He was actually kind of sweet when he broke up with me. Anyway." He tugged at his lower lip with his teeth . "Anyway, then I ran into Veronica, and she was so familiar and pretty and caring. And I needed that. We almost… but then Lincoln called."
"And then Sara."
He nodded. "What if… what if I'm not in love with her? If I never was? She was kind to me. We have a lot in common, and even if I hadn't been trying to… to butter her up, we probably would have clicked. But what if it was never that I wanted her, but that I was so… starved that I just… let myself believe…"
"Michael. You're thirty, Tony's sixteen. You're attracted to her. Genuinely. And she is to you. It's not the same situation."
"How do you know? I mean, how can you be sure? Because I'm sure that Tony is sure that he feels something for me. That his feelings are real."
"But you never felt the same way back. What happened in the sewers was a fluke. You were upset and overwhelmed. You weren't in control."
"I shouldn't…"
Alex's hand closed around Michael's wrist. "You do what I say. It was my decision, and I knew better than you what you needed." He squeezed, then let Michael go. "That being said, you care for Tony. A lot. But your feelings aren't amorous. Sara's, toward you, were. You didn't misinterpret."
"Yeah, but… It was so much harder than I expected. Prison. It was so cold. Bellick hated me on sight. I couldn't sleep the first few night because my mind was working so hard. T-Bag. The riots." He licked his lips. "And there, every day, was Sara. This… this sea of beauty and calm in all that. What if I just wanted to feel something so I could get away from all the darkness?"
"You're exhausting," Alex sighed.
"I know." He felt his shoulders tightened. He wrapped his arms around his stomach. "I know, but my feelings for her have changed, and I can't stop thinking…."
And then, Alex was in front of him. Pressed against him, forehead resting against Michael's. Hands on either side of Michael's face. "Here's my theory, Michael. It might be a little out there, but bear with me. Maybe, just maybe, you only knew Sara for a short time. And in that short time, you were attracted to her, enjoyed flirting with her, and enjoyed her flirting back. You felt something for her. But, when all is said and done, you've only known her for a short time, and in that time, you were planning a breakout. Your mind was always elsewhere, never fully committed. And now that you're here, and again, your mind is elsewhere. So, you find that the fragile bond you created with her at Fox River and while you were running just isn't enough to survive." He ran his thumb down Michael's jaw. Traced his lips. "Maybe she was right. Maybe right now, you need to concentrate on survival. And, maybe when we get out…"
"Don't." He grasped Alex's shirt. Kissed him, feeling desperate. Lost.
"You're not worried about this?" Alex asked. "Us?" He slid one hand down Michael's cheek. His chest. Rested his hand on Michael's hip and massaged. "I show you a little bit of affection, and you fall in love."
"Why do you insist that I'm in love with you?" Michael asked. His hands were underneath Alex's shirt and he couldn't stop rubbing up and over his chest. "I never said I was. You're the one who first brought it up. And you're the one who ran away from… from this. If you didn't feel something for me…"
"I'm not in love with you."
"And I'm not in love with you." The words tasted sort of flat on his mouth. Rang with the same hollow tinge as Alex's had.
Alex's lips twitched. "So. That's settled then." His hand trailed down Michael's stomach. Tugged at his fly, button and zipper coming undone.
Michael leaned his head back, baring his neck. He rolled his hips into Alex's hand, wiggling slightly as Alex pulled down his underwear, freeing Michael's cock. "It's settled. Neither of us is in love with the other."
"No." He put his hands on Michael's shoulders. Pushed gently.
He went down willingly. Knelt on the hard, grimy floor with his pants sliding down his hips and cock hanging out. Looked up at Alex through his eyelashes as he leaned forward. Delicately took the button of Alex's fly in his teeth and undid it.
Alex groaned. His fingers threaded through Michael's hair as Michael used his teeth on the zipper as well. He leaned in and pressed his face against Alex's crotch, rubbed against the hard bulge underneath. Normally, he'd continue by wetting the cloth and tormenting Alex by teasing him through his underwear, but hygiene was sort of an issue here. So, he slipped his fingers underneath the waistband of Alex's underwear and tugged it and his jeans down.
Michael sat back on his ankles. Wrapped his fingers around Alex and lifted, gazing at the understand. At the vein that throbbed underneath. Slid them down and caressed at his ball sack, feeling, probing, manipulating and studying.
"Jesus Christ, Michael. You planning on doing anything?"
Michael looked up at Alex with a wicked grin. "Patience."
Alex growled at him. Tugged at his head.
Michael allowed himself to be manipulated. Opened his mouth, relaxed his throat. When he'd been in junior high school, he'd spent months learning how to swallow bananas down whole for no other reason than to see if he could do it. His last year in high school, he'd discovered this talent had other applications as well. And there was nothing like the look on a man's face when you deep throated him not only with complete ease, but when he wasn't expecting it.
Alex was no different. When Michael swallowed him to the root, nose buried in his pubic hair, his mouth fell open. Then, his eyes squeezed and he fell forward, bracing himself on the wall as Michael swallowed. Sucked and pushed his tongue at the underside of Alex's cock. He twitched and bucked, trying to thrust, but Michael held him back, one hand on Alex's hip.
He loved this. Forgotten what it was like to hold control over another man like this. To feel him pulsing in his mouth, taste his essence on his tongue. To feel filled up and stuffed and... and whole.
Finally, he pulled back, saliva and precome coating his lips. He gasped for air, his hand working at Alex's cock. Stroking, tugging. Then he leaned back in and took him in again, sucking part way. Hard, cheeks hollowing, throat working. His hand twisted around the part his mouth didn't take in. When he pulled back, he laved at the head, twirling his tongue around the ridge before tonguing at the sensitive hole.
"Michael," Alex gritted. He dropped on hand to Michael's head. Pushed him. When Michael took him in again, he held Michael's head in place. Thrust his hips.
Michael groaned, eyes rolling back. He opened his mouth wider and gripped Alex's hips, a jolt of heat going through him.
Taking the cue, Alex put both his hands on either side of Michael's head. Gripped tightly, almost painfully. Thrust, hard and fast, fucking Michael's mouth. The head of his cock hit the back of Michael's mouth, stroking his soft palate. Thrust, pushing Michael back, almost snapping his head. Moved with no regard to Michael's comfort, to his feelings. Just fucked him, used him and Michael…
Michael's blood pulsed and cock throbbed. His skin tingled. His hips jerked and twisted of their own accord, his own cock painfully hard. He removed one hand from Alex's hips and immediately had to grab back on when the force of Alex's thrust pushed him back. But he just held tighter with one hand and lowered the other to his dick. Took hold and stroked, fast and brutal, in time with Alex.
Alex was grunting as he worked. Hands tight in Michael's hair. Breath coming faster and faster. Michael could feel Alex getting closer to his climax, hear that wheeze in the back of his throat, the tension in his body. He worked harder on his cock, wanting to get there together, reach that moment with Alex, feel that connection and…
"Shit," Alex swore. He pulled out of Michael's mouth. Fell against the wall, one hand against it, the other around his cock as he came, warm bursts of semen hitting Michael's face. He closed his eyes, feeling the sticky strands coating his eyelashes. Tasted it on his lips and, with that, he was coming, trembling, losing himself. The world spun around him and he was falling forward.
And Alex was there, catching him, kissing him. Tasting himself on Michael's mouth, on his lips. Tasting and biting and kissing and claiming and Michael… clung and hung on while the world continued to spin.
Sometime later, Michael find himself in Alex's arms. They were propped against the wall, both their pants done up and adjusted. Alex was breathing evenly into Michael's hair, relaxed but not asleep.
Michael yawned. "What… I…"
"You fell asleep," Alex said, voice rough, as if he hadn't spoken in awhile.
"How long?"
"Not long. Maybe fifteen minutes." He kissed the top of Michael's head. "Tony took some of the clothes to wash. We should go soon, though."
"Yeah." He didn't move. Neither did Alex.
Alex sighed. Rubbed Michael's arm. "The thing is," he said after a few moments. "The thing is, there were never many choices for us in the first place. We were either going to end up killing each other or… or end up like this." He kissed the top of Michael's head. "Maybe that's why you aren't worried about anything that may or may not be cropping up here. I mean. Not that, well." He shrugged. "But."
"I know you better than I've known anyone," Michael said. "Better than Sara. " He looked up at Alex, meeting his eyes. "It's not confusing whatever this is for whatever it's not. It's knowing exactly what it is without understanding it."
Alex's mouth crooked into a smile. "Yeah," he said. "Exactly."
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omg
Date: 2009-01-13 04:36 pm (UTC)Re: omg
Date: 2009-01-15 03:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-13 05:56 pm (UTC)And Tony is such a sweetheart. <3
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Date: 2009-01-15 03:54 am (UTC)Thank you!
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Date: 2009-01-13 07:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-15 03:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-13 07:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-15 03:56 am (UTC)Thanks so much!
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Date: 2009-01-13 08:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-15 03:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-13 09:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-15 03:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-14 09:21 am (UTC)I'm glad Michael is working out his feelings for Alex and Sara, and that Tony is going to be ok.(I have to say,though-I enjoy the sexy scenes with the three of them;is that so wrong?)
Loved the two of them insisting they're not in love-even they knew they were lying.
I look forward to the next chapter and hope you post it soon!
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Date: 2009-01-15 03:57 am (UTC)Not wrong at all. I was totally planning on going that way... it was Michael who wanted to just be with Alex. Go fic. :)
Loved the two of them insisting they're not in love-even they knew they were lying.
There is no way these two are not in love. They're mind-mates and just kidding themselves. :)
Thank you.
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Date: 2009-01-14 09:33 am (UTC)That just sums up the entire character of Mahone and Fichtner's protrayal of him.
"What if… what if I'm not in love with her? If I never was."
If only that were true on the tv show, and if only Michael would snog Alex once in a while on the show, I might actually start watching it again!
This installment was great! There were a few spelling mistakes and a few sentences that had words that seems wrongly placed-you might have a look and make some corrections...but aside from that nit-picky stuff, I thought it was a wonderful chapter.
I Always loved the way you wrote these too and I still do. I also still say that I wish YOU were the head writer for the show. It would be a MUCH better show if you were doing the story! Update soon...
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Date: 2009-01-15 03:58 am (UTC)Thanks, I'm glad you liked it. I went back over and think I caught all the mistakes. Of course, I thought I had before, so...
Thank you!
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Date: 2009-01-15 02:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-15 03:59 am (UTC)Sadly, they both are. There's a really hot picture of Wentworth lying on a bed, smoking on the internet that's just... guh. I just turned it around here.
Thanks. :)
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Date: 2009-01-15 02:17 pm (UTC)