Serafina's Corner of the World

Ever since I got yelled at for unleashing my "inner bitch" on Lana during the Chloe/Lana break-up in Two Steps Forward, I've been really hesitant about writing Lana. I know I write more from her POV now than I do Chloe's and Lana seems to speak to me more, but I'm really kind of afraid to have her do anything that might be percieved as negative. It's so stupid, and I know it. I still felt I handled the break-up fine. I wasn't trying to paint Lana as the bad guy, rather as someone who was traumatized not only by not being able to remember what happened, but by the idea she was the aggressor. In retrospect, although I wasn't thinking of this at the time, I think there's a part of her that is afraid of turning out like Nell (in COTW): someone who doesn't want to settle down with someone (and give Lana the security of a two parent family?) and, instead, allows herself to be used by a man that disturbs Lana (Lionel) and who knows how many others.

The thing is, I feel that, at that point, Lana wasn't ready to have sex. Even though she was interested in it, she wasn't ready. And even though I had Lex calling her frigid, etc., I never meant to give the impression that he was any way appropriate or right. When I was sixteen, I sure as hell wasn't ready to have sex. I wasn't even really ready to have a boyfriend. I tried, because I was attracted to guys and I wanted to be "normal", but I didn't like them touching and/or kissing me. I wasn't ready and that was okay. And, from my POV, it's okay that Lana wasn't ready to have sex either. My regret, then, is I guess I never made that clear enough and, instead, the impression was given that Lana was backwards and repressed because of it. I could fix it now, I guess, since she and Lex are friends, but it won't make the failure go away and it won't fix the impression left by my wrist slapper (as she no longer reads).

I know I'm a better writer now, my intentions come off as clearer. Which, maybe, will help me figure out what to do with the whole Chloe/Lionel thing (not like that). I can't really think of a reason she would "betray" Clark by going to Lionel or agreeing to his proposal... unless she tells Lex, who thinks they can both maniuplate Lionel and the information given, which then gets fucked up by whatever I decide to do with Lex.

Anyway. I got off there. My point is, I love writing Lana and I think I do a good Lana. However, she's always a prickly problem because I don't want it to seem that I'm purposely dumping on her becasue I don't like what happens with her on the show while, at the same time, trying to make her (and everyone) more real in COTW.

And the moral for today:

Never clean in one of your favorite shirts, especially if you're using bleach. You'll be sad.