Fic: What Might Have Been

[serafina20]

Title: What Might Have Been
Author: serafina20
Rating: Mature
Pairing: Pam/Michael/Mahone
Summary: The meeting with Tancredi and its aftermath.




The house in Montana was about what I expected. A brown and beige two story track home on a small residential street in the middle of Anytown, USA. SUV in the driveway, blending in with the other SUVs on the street. Green, mowed lawn, roses edging the house. Basketball hoop in the front, swimming pool in back.

"Here we are," Aldo said as he pulled into the driveway. "Home sweet home."

"You staying here?" Michael asked. He had one hand across his stomach, the other propped on it, thumb rubbing his bottom lip. He and Aldo hadn't spoken in hours.

"For a couple days," he replied. "But I'm going to be helping Alex and Tancredi. We still have people working in the government, against the Company. I want to put both of them in touch with whoever I can, to strengthen our cause."

"So you're leaving again."

Aldo looked at him. "Do you want me to stay?"

The front door to the house opened. A stunning platinum blonde stood in the doorway, wary. Alert. She looked ready to spring and attack whatever threat emerged from the car. When she came closer, though, and saw Aldo, she relaxed. Smiled. Her hand made a tucking motion behind her back, and I had no doubt she'd come outside armed.

Aldo opened the door. "Jane. Sorry. Didn't mean to worry you."

"No problem." Her eyes skimmed over Michael and me as we climbed out of the car. "Mrs. Mahone. Michael."

His eyebrow quirked at that. "You know me," he said, reaching for my hand. "You are?"

"Jane. Nice to meet you. Your brother and nephew talk about nothing else."

"Doubt that. They here?"

"Inside. LJ can go out, but Lincoln is confined to the house and backyard. I'm not sure about you, yet. Probably the same."

"Wonderful." He tugged on my hand. "Let's go."

We followed Jane and Aldo into the house. There was a brief foyer that doubled as a hall. The first room was something like a study--desks, a couch, a computer, books, all dark; the next was the living room. The TV was on and broadcasting the unmistakable sound of a video game.

And talking.

"Dad. Dad, no! Dad... stop it!" A loud computerized explosion. Then a half-shrieked, "Dad!"

Deep laughter. "And you thought it'd be easy to beat your old man."

We rounded the corner into the living room to find a boy--LJ, obviously--attacking Lincoln with a pillow. They were both laughing, cheeks flushed, eyes dancing. Looking like family.

And then LJ stopped. His head whipped around, eyes wide. "Uncle Mike!" In a gracefully athletic leap that only the young and reckless can manage, he bounded over the back of the couch and across the floor. "You made it!" He reached for Michael, only to stop short suddenly. Clench his hands into fists. Draw back with an uncertain look flitting over his face.

Michael's hand tightened in mine before he released it. "Hey, LJ." He sort of reached out for LJ, only to pull back as well. "You, uh. You look good."

"Thanks." LJ bit his lower lip and shrugged. "You too."

I exchanged glances with Lincoln. From the look on his face, his thoughts mirrored mine. What the hell is the matter with them?

Of course, the minute Michael tugged on his fingers, I knew. I knew what the next words out of his mouth would be, without a doubt.

"LJ," he said, still tugging at his fingers. "I'm sorry."

LJ frowned, obviously confused. "For what?"

"Leaving you. Every time I left you, for leaving you. I'm sorry. I didn't mean.." Michael reached out. Touched LJ's arm like he didn't have the right.

LJ stepped closer to Michael, twitching a little when his uncle's hand dropped away. "You went to get Dad. To save him. I know that."

"I should have told you."

"I would have be angry," LJ said. Then he sighed. "I was angry. I thought you didn't love me, and that's why you did it. To get away..."

The dam broke. Michael shook his head, face crumpled. Grabbed LJ and pulled him into his arms. Stroked his back and breathed into his hair, whispering over and over, "I love you, I'm sorry, I love you."

LJ just clung to Michael. His face was pressed against Michael's shoulder, hidden, but I could see his shoulders shake. He was so young to have been through so much. And not just the last few months with his mother or the past three years with Lincoln. His whole life. A father in and out of jail, an uncle who served as father and brother in his stead. Michael had told me how brilliant LJ was, how he'd been put into gifted classes and skipped a grade when even that hadn't proved challenging enough. Breezing through his first year of high school. Winning science contests and essay contests his whole life.

How he'd practically cut LJ out the last six months. The pain at not being able to be near him. To not have the constant presence in his life.

The guilt.

Lincoln came over to me. "All he's been able to talk about for days is Michael," he said softly. "Jane promises he was the same when I was on my way, but I don't believe her. Kid's crazy about Michael."

I squeezed Lincoln's arm lightly. "He's crazy about you, too. You're his father."

"Sometimes." He pulled his eyes away from them. "You okay? Aldo said that you were attacked."

"I'm fine," I replied, touched he cared. "Some agent came in and tried to give me trouble. Michael took him out and we got away."

"He didn't hurt you?"

I raised my eyebrow.

He blushed and ducked his head. "Michael may have, uh, mentioned what happened with you and that Shales guy. And when I heard you were attacked in the same house, I was worried." He looked back up, almost defensive. "You make my brother happy, all right?"

"All right." I smiled, embarrassed. "I'm trying not to think about it too much." Then, much softer, I said, "Thank you."

"Yeah, well. You make my brother happy." He cleared his throat. "You, uh. Do you want something to eat? Drink?"

I glanced at Michael and LJ, then nodded. They needed some time alone.

Aldo and Jane were already in the kitchen when we got there. They both looked up, and it seemed as if a look passed between Lincoln and Jane; I wasn't sure what to make of it.

"Hey, Dad. What's going on?"

"Not much new since I called you. I'm going to put Tancredi in touch with some people who can help with the tape. Other than that, it's a waiting game right now. We can't move until he's officially vice president."

Lincoln nodded. "Great. So, I'm stuck here."

Jane rolled her eyes. "For God's sake, you are worse than your son."

"He gets to go outside. Go into town. I'm stuck here."

"No, really? I had no idea It's not as if you go around talking about every minute of every day," she shot back.

"Lets see how you handle it. I'd give you an hour."

"Trust me. I can go a lot longer a day. I've done it. And not in a cushy little house like this."

"Please. Confinement's easy when you're stuck in a box. It's when your prison is nice that things get really hard."

"You are the biggest whiner I have every met."

"And you are the biggest...."

"Okay," I interrupted loudly. "Nice to see we're all getting along. Um, what are the sleeping arrangements?"

Twin sets of laser eyes fixed on me. I blushed, realizing how it must have sounded, especially since I had been thinking that they should probably get a room.

Jane recovered first. "There are four rooms upstairs. I figured we could turn the office into a bedroom, get the couch out and pull a bed in or something. Unless Lincoln shares with his son or brother. Or we share, I guess, although I don't see the point in either since we do have the room downstairs."

I looked at Lincoln, who shrugged.

"I didn't know how to explain. Or if I should," he said.

"And I think it's best we don't talk about it at all," Aldo said. "I don't want you introducing my grandson to your... perversions."

"Hey, Dad," Lincoln said, voice hard. "Shut the fuck up." He put his hand on my shoulder, then turned to Jane. "She and Michael will share a room. Her, him, and her husband are all together."

"Like a threeway?" Jane asked.

"Yeah," I said.

"Oh. Okay, that makes it easier, then." She smiled at me reassuringly. I got the sense that it took a lot of phase her and, like me, she just didn't care about other people's sex life.

Of course Aldo couldn't keep his fat mouth shut. "You can't be okay with this."

"Aldo," Jane said. "Let it go, man. They're not doing anything wrong."

"How can you say that?"

"Because Lincoln was almost executed for a crime he didn't commit, a fifteen year old kid was put into prison for the murder of his parents, who were killed right in front of his eyes by the Company who holds America in its blood-soaked hands. She? Is sleeping with two men. If only all of us were so lucky." She turned to me. "You want something to eat?"

"Love something. Is there anything to drink?"

"Fridge. I'll get started on dinner. Lincoln. Help."

"Like I don't?"

I pulled two sodas from the refrigerator. "So, you two like to fight, huh?"

"No," Lincoln answered.

"Coulda fooled me," was Jane's response.

I left the room as Lincoln turned to her with, "You're the one who always starts it."

"Ah," I sighed to myself. "A match made in heaven." I rounded the corner to the living room.

LJ and Michael were on the couch together. Michael had his arm stretched across the back of the couch. LJ's head was sort of tipped towards Michael, not quite resting on his shoulder, but close.

"The hardest thing was that Mom never asked if I wanted to see you. It was like, the minute you got thrown in there, you ceased to exist. She took me to see Dad, but not you. And I wanted to see you so badly."

"Did you ask?" Michael ran his fingers over LJ's hair.

"Once. She just changed the topic. I asked again, and she said she didn't want to talk about you." He sighed. "I think she was, like, devastated or something. Dad was... Well, okay, we didn't expect him to go and kill someone, but he was always in trouble. Sometimes it feels like he spent most of my life in jail. When he got thrown in this time, it was like Mom was all, 'well, what did you expect.' But you. You were perfect. Always. And then you just... flipped." He sighed again. "She was so upset. Just stopped talking about you. Took down any pictures. Pretended like you didn't exist." He sat up suddenly, turned to Michael, eyes wide. "I don't want you to be mad at her."

"No. No, I'm not mad at her." He stroked LJ's hair again. "I understand. She was upset. Betrayed. She thought I was a good influence for you, and then I did something that, in her eyes, was monumentally stupid. I get it."

LJ's shoulders sagged. His head dropped a couple inches closer to Michael's shoulder. "I used to hope you and her got together. Got married."

"Yeah," Michael said, gentle laughter in his voice. "We knew."

"You did?"

"You may have thought you were being subtle, but you were a kid. You were, what? Six when you first started?"

"Yeah. I wrote a love letter from Mom to you."

"In crayon. Misspelled. I still have it. In my safe deposit box where I put everything I wanted to save."

LJ laughed. "I never realized how obvious it had to have been."

"When you were eight, you asked me to come over. On a Friday night. You wanted to go to the movies. Then, you remembered you had homework, so left you mom and I alone to have diner. You even poured grape juice into wine glasses." He laughed and kissed the top of LJ's head. "You watched way too much TV."

"Yeah, but what else was I supposed to do? I mean, I loved Dad, but I barely knew him. You were over all the time, babysitting or hanging out or taking me out. I just thought life would be perfect if you and Mom got married."

"Sorry it didn't happen."

"Naw, it's cool. Mom was way high maintenance. And really literal and focused on how things looked. She never would have understood you."

Michael sighed. "I don't think she ever did. But I did love her."

"And she loved you." LJ turned his head. "I'm glad you're here, Uncle Mike. I've missed you."

"I've missed you, too."

Michael kissed him on top of the head again. Then, he turned his head and saw me. "Pam. Hey."

"I don't mean to interrupt," I said, embarrassed I'd been caught eavesdropping. "I just thought you might be thirsty."

Michael rose, LJ following. "LJ, this is Pam Mahone."

"Yeah. You're the FBI guy's wife, right?"

"I am." I smiled uncertainly at him. "I hope you don't hold it against me?"

He shook his head. "Naw. Dad told me about everything. Him being blackmailed and all. I mean, he was a jerk to me, but I get it if he was trying to protect his family. I would have done the same thing."

"I'm glad you think so." I handed Michael his soda.

He immediately set it on the end table and took my hand. "LJ. Look, I don't know what your father has told you, but I want you to hear it from me. Too. Or for the first time. I'm not sure which."

LJ frowned. Looked at our conjoined hands. "What is it?"

"Nothing bad. It's just... Pam and I are in a relationship."

"Really? What about her husband?"

Michael's face turned bright red.

LJ's eyes practically popped out of his head. "You like him, too?"

"Yeah. I do. And we're all sort of together. All three of us."

"Oh." He pursed his lips and nodded. "Okay. That's... really not what I'd ever expect from you, Uncle Mike. I'm you're so... straight. Not, like, straight, cause I know you like guys. But, like. Conservative and stuff."

"I know. It's not like me. But they both knocked me off my feet, and here I am. Your dad isn't all that great with it, and... Aldo hates it."

LJ glanced at me. "You mean my grandfather? Your dad?"

"He's not my dad," Michael said sharply.

I raised my eyebrow at LJ. Shrugged.

He nodded. "Okay. Right. I'm cool with it. I mean, you've never been with anyone, really. Not that you liked enough to introduce to me." He looked at me. "Can I call you Aunt Pam?"

"No," I said, smiling at him.

LJ grinned back, his entire face lighting up as he did. "Ah, fine. What about your husband? Should I call him Uncle Alex? Step-uncle?"

"Alex will be fine," Michael said. He ruffled LJ's hair. "Now, is there any food around here? I'm starving."

Comments

[therathasspoken.livejournal.com]

that's so cute! i loved LJ the most. Aunt Pam and Uncle Alex? Awwwwwwww! what an image.

[brushed-velvet.livejournal.com]

Aunt Pam and Uncle Alex, lol! Totally great! I was also touched with Linc's concern over Pam and at least he's sticking up for them now even if he doesn't fully approve.

She? Is sleeping with two men. If only all of us were so lucky.

When them two men are Mikey and Alex, I couldn't agree more!

[the-t-blogger.livejournal.com]

Great chapter!!!!..I loved LJ too...Uncle Alex..*laughs*..and i agree with those two mean being Michael and Alex...hmmm..i would consider myself a very lucky person!!!...it was so nice to see a chapter of this..i love this story..and cellie too..they are both so great..cant wait for more!

[interpretthis.livejournal.com]

LJ trying to set up Lisa and Michael is so cute. And I loved Jane's response to the three-way. So, so true. Michael AND Alex. *drool* Great job!