serafina20 | Squee!!!!

I've been having a crappy couple of weeks. I've been feeling aweful, I'm tired all the time, and just generally not too happy. Then, to top it all off, my sister and I got into a huge fight on Sunday that basically ruined the whole day plus Monday for me.

My friend, Ivy, sensed all this, so she decided that I needed to get my Christmas present early (or Chanukah present late). And what did she get me? The autographed picture of Christan Kane (Lindsey McDonald from Angel) that I wanted when we were up at BASCON!!!!! *does happy dance* He's so pretty in the picture. I mean, really pretty. As in, I could throw over Michael Rosenbaum and Dinah Meyer if he asked me to. So pretty pretty.

Ahem. So, in honor of the picture, I present the link to my favorite Lindey/Wesley story that I've written, called Talk to Me (http://elektra.slashcity.tv/serafina/talktome.html) and the
first Lindsey/Wesley fic I ever wrote. It's not good or anything, but I figured I'd post it anyway just because I'm happy. :)

The Night the Lights Went Out
by Serafina

Title: The Night the Lights Went Out
Author: Serafina
e-mail/feedback: Would be much appreciated (serafina20@hotmail.com)
Distribution/Archive: if you want it, take it.
Spoilers: Season 2. Nothing specific, but it takes place after "Blood Money"
Content: Lindsey/Wesley
Rating:NC-17
Disclaimer: Joss, Fox, and Mutant enemy own them, I don't. This makes me sad.
Summary: Lindsey and Wesley get stuck in an elevator during a black out. Stuff happens.

*****
Half obscured between two large books with completely different call numbers, and on the top shelf, which he couldn't reach without a stool, Lindsey McDonald finally found the book he was looking for. It felt like he'd been looking for hours; apparently, no one in the entire university actually knew the Dewy Decimal System. Judging by the way the books were shelved, the lawyer would hazard that none of them really understood the regular numbering system (as in one, two, three). Grumbling to himself about the obvious decline in intelligence as evidenced by today's youth, he tucked the book under his arm and headed to the elevator.

"Hold!" he called, jogging to the closing doors.

They re-opened and the lawyer stepped in. "Thanks," he said, punching the button to go down, not looking at his companion.

The doors closed and the elevator started down.

"Oh dear," the other person said softly under his breath.

Lindsey's stomach dropped from under him as he recognized the voice. He glanced over and swore. "What the fuck are you doing here?" he demanded.

"It's a public library and public lift; I have every right to be here," Wesley Wyndam-Price snapped back. "What about you?"

"Lawyers still qualify as public."

"Unfortunately for the world," was the dour reply.

Fuming at his ill luck, Lindsey turned to face the doors, his face stony. He wasn't going to say anything to the Angel's whiny pet,
Lindsey decided. There was no need.

Suddenly, the elevator lurched to a stop. Both Lindsey and Wesley grabbed at the nearest wall, trying to keep their balance. The lights flickered once, then twice before going, plunging the elevator in darkness.

"What did you do?" Wesley's voice was sharp and accusing.

"I didn’t do anything. You're the wizard. What did you do?"

"I'm not a... Never mind. I did nothing." Wesley fell silent, then said, "You don't suppose this is one of those rolling black outs, do you?"

"Crap. What do you want to bet it is?" Lindsey bit his lip. "They aren't going to leave us in here, right?"

"How will they know we're here?"

"Hey!" Lindsey shouted. He banged on the door. "Hey!"

"Please, don't."

Lindsey turned towards Wesley voice. "What? I want them to know we're in here."

"Even if they know, what can they do? I don't think the building has a generator, and the only way to get us out is to climb. If we are in the shaft, then I doubt they can hear us. Furthermore, even if they do know we are here, then they will give us some sign after awhile. At any rate, shouting and beating the walls like a Neanderthal won't help."

"Will you stop being so fucking logical, C-3PO?"

"You mean never quote you the odds?" was the quite answer.

Christ, he actually sounded hurt. "Yeah, something like that." Lindsey took a deep breath. "So what do we do?"

There was a sound like fabric sliding along something. "Wait for the lights to come on."

Lindsey sat down. His foot brushed against Wesley's and he yanked it away. Irrationally angry, he said, "You don't need to worry. Your precious Angel will realize that something happened and come and rescue you. And, being Angel, he'll leave me trapped here."

"Angel won't be coming."

"What? Did you two have a lover's quarrel?" Lindsey sneered.

"We aren't lovers and... he fired me. He has no idea where I am."

Lindsey blinked. "He fired you?"

"I just said that. Are you hard of hearing?"

"Fuck you. Why?"

"Because we felt he crossed the line by leaving you... by leaving the lawyers to die at Darla and Drusilla's hand."

He shrugged, "It was a little much, but I was expecting it. I mean, we pushed him far enough."

There was a long silence, then, "Perhaps you know him better than I do these days."

"Yeah, I guess."

The fell silent. Lindsey shifted uncomfortably. Even though he couldn't see the walls, they felt close and the darkness was oppressive. "Can't you make it lighter in here? You know, with magic?"

"No." Wesley sounded a bit strained.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine."

Lindsey tilted his head. "What? Are you jealous that I know him better or something?"

Wesley sighed. "Of course not."

"Please. I know you love him, and you're jealous that he pays more attention to me than you."

"You really are delusional, aren't you? I'm not in love with him; I have Virginia. Even if I didn't... No, not Angel." There was a pause, then Wesley asked in a crafty tone of voice. "Are you in love with him? Is that what you're getting at?"

"No."

"Ah, because you love Darla."

"No, I don't love Darla. I thought I did for maybe a minute, before I realized I just wanted her. Still do, even if she is a vampire; she is gorgeous and it's been kinda a long time, you know, with someone I didn't have to pay."

"Thank you, I really needed that information."

"What? You brought up your love life. Virginia Bryce, beautiful girl. You love her?"

"I'm not telling you that."

"Why not? There's nothing else to do."

Wesley sighed. "No, I don't love her, not yet."

"Oh." He was silent a moment before saying, "I don't even think I could fall in love with a girl. Or anyone, I guess. My life's too fucked up for that."

"Ah, so you admit it."

Lindsey laughed mirthlessly. "I know I'm a piece of crap; why do you think I'm trying so hard to get Angel to kill me? I'm good at my job, but I know that what I'm doing isn't right. I just... I don't want to go back, so I do what I need to do to stay where I am and if I get killed while I'm on top, so what?"

"You want Angel to kill you?"

The lawyer nodded, then realized Wesley couldn't see him. "Yeah, pretty much. Not the firm, though, just him." The distinction seemed important to Lindsey somehow, but he couldn't explain why. "I hate... I hate me. I've never done anything right, except maybe not get involved with anyone. I don't exactly want to introduce anyone to the life I lead or, or me."

"Where did you come from?"

"You've heard the story. I'm sure Angel told you."

"Ah yes, extreme poverty of both house and, apparently, spirit." There was a slight hesitation. "Is there more?"

"No, not unless you count the dark rooms and the strange men that my dad brought in. Playing poker in the front, me locked in the closet, waiting until he either won and we could leave or for him to lose everything until... until he gambled me."

There was a sharp intake of air. Lindsey smiled grimly, knowing he finally shocked the Watcher.

"You?" The tone was aghast.

"I was ten; win a round of poker, have fun with a little boy."

"Why aren't you... even more screwed up than you are?"

"Thanks, Wesley." Lindsey sighed and leaned his head against the wall. "I don't know. I mean, if pure evil and self-loathing isn't as fucked up as it gets, I don't know what is." Lindsey bit his lip, then asked to change the subject. "Why do you say you don't love Angel?"

"How can you love someone who doesn't respect you? He fired me as if I were the most remote employee, one that he had never met. Besides, he's not really my type. Broody, tall, and huge, and self- involved isn't really what I want."

"And the fact that he's male?"

"Has nothing to do with it. I readily admit I am attracted to men, if someone asks, but... but not Angel, not really. A bit, perhaps, but now I'm too angry at him and hurt. He was my friend. At least, I thought he was my friend. Now I don't know."

"Do you want me to apologize for taking him away?"

"No."

Lindsey sat, staring into the darkness, listening to Wesley breathe.
Gradually, the Watcher's breath grew steady and smooth; Lidsey realized he must have drifted off. That warmed him; it didn't really mean anything except that Wesley was bored and tired, but somehow, it implied a little bit of trust to be able to sleep in the presence of his enemy.

Sometime later - Lindsey had no way to tell how much time had past - he heard Wesley call out in fear. The lawyer scooted over until he found the Watcher and shook him. "Wesley, wake up."

Wesley jerked, his head connecting with Lindsey's chin. "No!" he shouted, pulling away. He sat up, drawing his legs to his chest, rocking.

Lindsey put his hand on his companion's shoulder. "Wes, it's okay. Shhh." He could hear Wesley taking deep gasps of air, his breath coming too fast. "Calm down, you're all right."

"It's too dark and too small. I have to get out of here." He moved.

Lindsey grabbed him, wrapping his arms around the trembling Watcher and holding him tight. "Stay, you'll panic yourself. It's okay, just stay with me and calm down. You're all right, I promise, you're all right."

Wesley shook his head, fighting Lindsey's grip. "No, I have to get out."

"You can't, not right now. Focus on me. What's wrong? Where are you?"

Two shaky hands came up and held tightly to the lawyer's arms. "My
father... my father used to lock me under the stairs for hours. Once he... he forgot me. I was there for two days before he remembered. He... it was horrible, stuck there with no light or food or water or...What if..."

"Shhh, Wes, shhh, they can't forget us. The power will come back on and we'll be fine. And I've got a bottle of water and a candy bar in my briefcase; we're fine." With his good hand, Lindsey stroked Wesley's silky hair, then moved his hand down to rest on his shoulder, thumb rubbing soothingly up and down the Watcher's neck. "Just breath normally, you are okay."

For a long time the only sounds were Lindsey making soothing noises and Wesley fighting to breath. Gradually, the Watcher relaxed, his tense muscles loosing slightly and his body falling into the lawyers.

Lindsey found he rather like him there.

"You must think I'm an idiot," Wesley said softly after a moment.

"No; I understand. Claustrophobia brought on by early trauma."

"And now he's psychoanalyzing me. You must be a man of many talents."

"Minored in psych," he responded flippantly. "How do you think I know why I'm so messed up? I wanted to be able to understand people."

"Oh." He was still too tense for Lindsey's taste, his voice strained with tinges of panic staining the edges.

Lindsey bit his lip, thinking of ways to distract his companion. "Why don't you love Virginia?"

"What?"

"You said you weren't in love with her," Lindsey said.

"I barely know her."

"So?"

Wesley shook his head, strands of hair brushing Lindsey's chin
softly. "So, I'm not ready to proclaim to the words that I love a woman I've only been seeing for a few months. I enjoy spending time with her, I like learning more about her, but I just don't love her."

"Are you falling in love with her?"

Wesley was silent.

Lindsey pressed him. "What? You don't even know that much? Do you think you might fall for her, or is it just..." he trailed off.

"I don't want to talk about this, not with you. I don't even like you."

"But I'm here, paying attention, asking the question." When Wesley said nothing, Lindsey sighed and gave up. His thumb continued to stroke up Wesley's neck; then he moved it slightly; he touched a smooth patch right behind Wesley's ear.

Wesley made a sound, his body jerking slightly.

The lawyer stilled, then smiled. He touched it again, more deliberately this time.

The watcher shifted again, making an almost moan in the back of his throat.

"You like that, Wesley?" he asked, his voice low and sensuous, caressing the spot.

"Oh," he breathed. "Stop it."

"Why?" Lindsey licked his thumb, then put it back, this time stroking it over and over.

Wesley's entire body was fidgeting, his breath coming faster. "Stop," he moaned. Then he pulled away roughly. "I said stop."

Lindsey rose to his knees, his entire body sensing the other man's. "But I want to hear you make that sound again."

"What?"

"I liked it." He reached out and touched Wesley.

He didn't pull back. Encouraged, Lindsey leaned closer and kissed Wesley's neck. He ran a trail of opened mouth kisses, first touching with his lips, then his tongue, up to the spot behind Wesley's ear. As soon as he got there, Wesley moaned out loud.

"Yeah, that's what I wanted to hear." Lindsey's good hand began undoing the buttons on the Watcher's shirt, his fingers brushing against what skin he bared. His lips began moving along the same path, touching, then licking, then moving on.

Wesley was breathing heavily, not moving. "Why?"

"I'm bored and horny and you're beautiful." Lindsey finished with the shirt and pushed it off. Then his hands went for Wesley's fly.
"But... you can't see me and... and you hate me." Wesley was attempting, half heartedly, to stop Lindsey.

The lawyer grabbed Wesley's hand and pushed it behind his back, then used his weight to push the watcher down. Once on top, he began working on Wes's neck again, nipping and licking until Wesley was squirming beneath him, breathing heavily. Small moans escaped him every so often.

"I know what you look like and I want you. Just let me."

"What do you get out of this?"

Lindsey paused for a moment, sliding down Wesley's body until he rested in between the watcher's spread legs. "I get the pleasure of listening to you moan." His tongue plunged into Wesley's belly button, eliciting the response he craved. He moved up and licked Wesley's nipple, "And groan," he bit it gently, "and come. It'll be fun."

"No." Wesley caught Lindsey's head by the hair. "I can't."

"Why? Because of Virginia?"

"Well, that would be one reason."

"And the other?" Lindsey was able to move his head enough to flick the tip of this tongue along Wesley's wrist.

He gasped. "I'm a virgin."

"What?"

"I've never been with a man."

Lindsey was silent for a moment, then he ran his hand up Wesley's body, cupping his face. "And you don't want your first time to be with me?"
"Something like that."

The lawyer moved up and brought his lips to Wesley's. He pressed them together gently at first, his tongue tracing the outline of the Watcher's mouth, then tugging on his lower lip. Wesley finally opened his mouth and Lindsey plunged in, his tongue dancing first with the other man's tongue, then exploring the rest of his mouth, before returning to the dance.

Wesley moaned into Lindsey's mouth, his hand releasing the death grip on Lindsey's hair, running though it to hold the lawyer by the neck.
Lindsey pulled away, running kisses over Wesley's chin and jaw, enjoying the taste of Wesley and the smell of Wesley and the body of Wesley.

"Let me do this," he said, practically begging. He could feel Wesley's cock, hard against his thigh. "I want you so much, please. I won't hurt you, I won't do anything you don't want, I just want to make you come."

"Why?"

"Because I have to pay to have sex and when you do that, you don't give money to pleasure the other person, you pay them to pleasure you. I want... I want just to, to play with you and make you come and... and just to do it. God, I want this so bad." He rubbed himself against Wesley, grinding their cocks together.

Wesley ran his hand through Lindsey's hair again, then slowly pushed him down. "Okay."

Lindsey grinned, then began to make his way down again. He fumbled with Wesley's fly; one hand slowed things down. Finally, the Watcher reached down, unbuttoned his pants, and slid them off.

Lindsey divested him of his boxers, then took his erect cock. He leaned down and licked the head gently, then licked his way all the way down until he reached Wesley's balls. He drew those into his mouth, causing
Wesley to cry out, his hips bucking. Lindsey pulled back, then put his lips in a gentle kiss on the head again, opening his mouth and sliding down. He built a slow rhythm, taking a bit more each time before pulling back, then down again until the cock hit the back of his throat.

Speeding up just a bit, Lindsey straddled Wesley's leg, his own cock aching and hard. He rubbed himself against Wesley with the same rhythm he teased Wesley with. Wesley, for his part, was panting and moaning.

The lawyer reached up and touched the spot behind Wesley's ear again. Wesley cried out and thrust harder into his mouth, his hips beginning to move in a determined manner. Lindsey grabbed them to stop, then deep throated his lover and began to hum.

"Oh God!" Wesley cried, trying to thrust up into Lindsey's mouth harder and further.

Lindsey released his hips and let him. Wesley was fucking his mouth with hard, demanding strokes, his breath coming in hard, fast pants. Lindsey continued to hump his leg, his head filled with Wesley's taste and Wesley's moans.

Suddenly, Wesley stiffened and let out a long cry as he came in hot spurts into Lindsey's mouth. The lawyer swallowed it all and pulled back.

Wesley followed, his lips crashing into Lindsey's, his hand plunging into his pants. A few swift and skill full strokes and Lindsey came.

They collapsed into each other, sweating and panting. Lindsey pulled Wesley to him and buried his face in his hair, kissing down to his neck, tasking the salty tang of sweat.

"Now, was that so bad?"

"No," the Watcher answered sleepily. "It wasn't bad at all."

~fin~