Oh, so much good. I don't even really know what to say specifically, other than that the characterisation is still spot-on and the dialogue is wonderful.
Michael's lips quirked. "I love it when you sweet talk me."
"Bring me back something."
"Yes, master."
Mwahaha! Excellent... And oh, oh the images that leap to mind...
Also, there's a lot to this chapter. You've elaborated the power dynamics of the prison, developed the relationships, brought Bellick in (and not too much, thank god - the less of Bellick the better, but it was necessary to acknowledge his presence since we all know he's there), furthered the plot by bringing Tony into the escape plans and adding a another new threat that has more potential than the random fights we've seen so far (although I can imagine how those could come back to bit the boys in the ass at some point). All this when, technically, all that really happens is that they go for dinner. And, as always, you advance the story with rich layers without labouring it - it's all natural.
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momijizukamori
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Date: 2007-04-26 06:48 am (UTC)Michael's lips quirked. "I love it when you sweet talk me."
"Bring me back something."
"Yes, master."
Mwahaha! Excellent... And oh, oh the images that leap to mind...
Also, there's a lot to this chapter. You've elaborated the power dynamics of the prison, developed the relationships, brought Bellick in (and not too much, thank god - the less of Bellick the better, but it was necessary to acknowledge his presence since we all know he's there), furthered the plot by bringing Tony into the escape plans and adding a another new threat that has more potential than the random fights we've seen so far (although I can imagine how those could come back to bit the boys in the ass at some point). All this when, technically, all that really happens is that they go for dinner. And, as always, you advance the story with rich layers without labouring it - it's all natural.
Good work. :)