Self tanning lotion crap

Anyone have recommendations for self-tanning lotion stuff that won't turn my legs a weird color? Because my legs are a weird color right now and I hate all my pants so I just want to wear a skirt. But their kind of an pasty olive color. Except for all the bruises.

So... anyone?

Misplaced concerned

The books is called King of Plagues. There are terrorist bombings, lots of people dying, maybe a plague (?) to look forward to.

I'm most concerned that the main character, Joe Ledger, seems to have abandoned his cat, Cobbler. All he talks about is his fucking super-dog (and all the people dying). What happened to Cobbler? Where did Cobbler go? Is he still living in Joe's room at the warehouse? Is he with someone else for safekeeping? WHERE IS COBBLER??????

...

I may be overly invested in my cat's namesake.