Second thoughts

I'm having second thoughts about taking the apartment. The security deposit is just so much, and it'll throw me back financially a few months. I don't know if it comes with a fridge or stove, I don't know what utilities are going to be, and I'm just not sure of anything. I haven't worked since the middle of July, and while my first paycheck will be a lot, it's kind of going to suck having to scramble to make sure all the ends meet.

My darling brother whom I adore and worship offered to lend me some money. If he lends me part of the security deposite, my parents can lend me the rest, so I won't be as strapped. However, I'd then hve to pay them back as soon as possible, and it'd prey on my mind.

So, I might not do it. I haven't signed anything or sent the landlord any money, so I don't think it'll be a problem. I'll tell him that it turns out I can't move until October. It'd be nice if he could keep it for me, but I know that's not going to happen.

I'm just so conflicted. I want someone to tell me what to do, but know no matter what, i'm not going to be perfectly satisfied.